My Problem and Solution

afternoon while I was hitchhiking home from school, it struck me like a baseball in the back: my mother wanted me to marry someone of my own social

The day was February 11, 2007. I had just woken up. I went to my closet to get ready for the day, threw on some clothes and went into the kitchen. The day was dark, the atmosphere had an unusual dreariness to it. My mom was in the kitchen making breakfast for my brother, cousin and I. That is when the phone rang. Every day, every hour that phone rings. I never thought my mom ever gets off of it. My mom picks up the phone and it was like a movie, someone calls and receives horrible news and drops the phone from shock. That was this scenario. My mom could not get off the phone any quicker. She calls for everyone to hurry up and get in the car, dressed or in pajamas. I knew something was terribly wrong, did my father die from a plane crash, or did my grandma fall?

Six years ago, a summer afternoon, my dad hugged me and I said “I will be gone for three days, I have a job in Austin, but I promise that I will be back before your birthday. I promise.” Days, weeks, months almost two years passed by and I did not receive any phone call or text message from him. Throughout that time my dad was gone, my mom told me that she was getting the papers ready to divorce my dad. I was noticing that the last three-four years that I was living with both of my parents, their relationship was getting worse. It was not a healthy situation for anyone in the house. What I mean about not being healthy is that my mother and father were damaging one another, emotionally and verbally, which my brothers and I would watch everything. Every day was the same routine, we forgot how it was to have a peaceful home. Around that moment, I honestly never thought divorce was going to be their solution.

Contrary to Susan Accarino’s experience with religious differences in relationships, she constantly reminds her granddaughter, me, that going out with a “Jewish Fellow” could become a problem when I get married. It has been two years since the first day that I started going out with my boyfriend, and for two years

My phone vibrated on the table one day. It was from my sister’s then husband calling me, as nervous as I was I picked up the phone with sweaty hands. He broke the news to me in a panicked voice that my drug addicted sister was in jail because she became too aggressive and tore up many of their belongings. My sister's husband informed me that Jobe was not safe and needed to get out of there fast. I was frantically getting ready for work when I sat down on the couch to think about what had just happened. I took many deep breaths and finally said, ¨Collect his belongings and take him to Robert’s, I'll pick him up when I get the chance¨. Thinking to myself, ¨What had just happened?¨ I was going to have to take my 11 year old nephew. I already had a little seven year old girl who was a bundle of energy. Thinking to myself, How could I be a single mother of two?

A common issue seen with this is the concept of arranged marriage. Some might think that this tradition only happens in third world or foreign countries. This is not the case. A journalist from Harvard, Anita Jain, writes about her difficulties and her parent’s persistence to get her married. Anita said, “My parents, in a very earnest bid to secure my eternal happiness, have been trying to marry me off to, well, just about anyone lately.” Although this could be seen as her parents trying to help her and find her a spouse, think if it was you in that position.

The pros of this situation would be that your cousin is happy and he has taken the time to get to know this girl for months. Another pro is that he is bringing her to meet his family, so he is actually serious about this girl. However, the cons of this would be that the girl could just be using him to come over to the United States. Another con is that his family isn’t supportive which could cause his family to ultimately distant themselves from him if he went through with the marriage. Finally, he hasn’t really spent a whole lot of time getting to know her, and before he jumps into a marriage, he needs to make sure he really wants to the rest of your life with that person. I would try to resolve the issue by trying to convince the family to just give the girl a chance because she makes him happy. Another resolution would be to find your cousin another girl that would make him happy and that your family would approve

“In other words, not only are people from different religious backgrounds getting married, they are keeping those separate faiths rather than converting.” (Hanes, 2014). This means that partners can still have and value their religion while still having a working relationship. They do not have to convert to still be happy and they certainly do not have to avoid specific people because they do not share the same beliefs. “...whether we’re Muslim, Jewish, Hindu...we’re in the same workplaces. And we fall in love and get married”. (Hanes, 2014). It does not matter who you are; ethnicity, religion or even gender should not determine who somebody can love. What happens though, is that two people meet each other and fall in love. Religion has nothing to do with it. However, some people in the US find it hard to believe that families are able to function properly with two or more

When I was nine years old, my dad had an accident that caused him to become paraplegic. As years passed, my father’s physical state went from paraplegic to quadriplegic. I felt alone and fell into depression as each year passed because there was never a sign of hope. I didn’t want to upset my mother by telling her that I might be depressed. So I took on myself to find a way. Since I was young and stupid, the only way I found was religion. So, I became religious hoping that my dad would become better if I prayed. However, my mother took this the wrong way, assuming I wanted to get married. In one week my parents found a guy in Pakistan. My parents took advantage of my religious phase by knowing that in our religion girls have to obey their

I in turn started to break most of my “religious” rules that I had grown up with, but being a sixteen year old girl, I didn’t care. We got engaged the summer before I started my senior year. Everyone was shocked and some were upset. My parents didn’t understand why I wanted to get married so young. I was at a point in my life where I wanted out of my house. We planned to get married on June 30th, 2001, which would be two weeks after my high school graduation. During my senior year of high school I spent a lot of time defending my decision to get married and most people did not understand it. When the day came to marry Brian, I was excited but sad at the same time. I knew that even as we sad our vows and walked out at a Mr. and Mrs. that there were people, including family that were literarily talking bets as to how long we would last. Everything was against us. My father-in-law even told us on our wedding day, “Get ready to live in poverty.” We started our marriage off with the odds against us. Brian was the only one with a job, we married because of our religious beliefs that you shouldn’t live together unless you were married, our family dynamic was changing and we were about to be living in a different social class then we were both used to. These things were all against us. But, at nineteen and eighteen there wasn’t much anyone could say that would have changed our minds.

marry whoever would give them a social advantage in society, instead of marrying for love. The

The problem is that you need to know how to love someone before you get married to them. Let's say an Arab guy who actually loved a girl for years, and then he decides to discuss it with his family. What do the parents say? No. Simple as that. After all that years and love, nothing. Why is it always the parent’s final say in the marriage of two people who are in love? Why do they have to find something wrong with the person their son want to get married to? So what happens next? He marries a girl his parents approve. but lets go of the one he truly loves. It is fucked up.

marriages that occur in India and the United States have several dramatic differences. Marriages in India are based solely on parental decisions, whereas in the United States a marriage is based on individualism. Who, why and how the spouse is chosen, is very different in both countries. Most Americans date to discover who their future spouse is going to be, and they know the person very well before marriage. In India, dating is not something that occurs. Most individuals in India do not have any interaction with the bride or groom prior to their wedding day, therefore, they do not personally know who they are marrying (Nanda 624). Though these differences exist, pros and cons reflect on each of them.

Arranged marriages are set up by friends and family, and sometimes by a matchmaker that sets up the marriage. But the bride’s father has the most responsibility in arranging marriage for his daughter, and is the one who approaches the father of a potential bridegroom. Important aspects when considering a possible match are financial status, caste, and the bride and bridegrooms horoscopes matching. The role of astrology is important, and if a Hindu priest finds that the horoscopes of the potential spouses do not match, they will not marry, and must begin the search all over again (Livermore, 2009). India’s view of marriage first and then love is very different from the Western view where love comes before marriage, seems to be successful. The

Devastated, I ran to my room gushing my eyes out. All these emotions going through my head of how my life would be without my parents in the same room or even house. From what I remember it all started about mid-June, the weeks before that were crucial. My parents would always argue over how to deal with a situation between me and my brother, Skyler. They hardly spoke to one another, but when they did they would just start bickering. I remember, one night after dinner they both went into ''their'' room with the door locked yelling at one another. Skyler and I didn’t know what to do, so we went downstairs and tried to figure out what was going to happen. With a scared tone I asked if mom and dad were going to get a divorce?" He answered back '' No, they love each other, they wouldn’t do that to us." That following night, was a school night everything was quiet except for my crying. I couldn’t sleep; all I was thinking about how it's going to affect my family.