My Thoughts About Sexual Identity

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When asked to write a candid and self-revealing journal about my experiences, thoughts, feelings and beliefs related to human sexuality, I became intrigued. Throughout my early life, my own sexuality has been something of considerable focus because I knew that I was different than the average boy. Later, I discovered this difference was called being gay, homosexual, a faggot, or queer. I remember these names stinging just a bit because I did not want to be different than other boys, I just wanted to be accepted and close to other boys. Consequently, my identity orbited around numerous fears, thoughts, and reactions by others and me to how I subsisted as a person because of what I discovered about myself during my journey through childhood,…show more content…
Moreover, I learned that my sexuality was natural and healthy until the AIDS crisis in the eighties. The crisis around HIV/AIDS generated numerous myths which may or may not have been considered sexual, but the most devastating was the revision of the myth that “God hated fags.” This was proven to mainstream society because God was punishing gay men with AIDS and causing us to suffer for our sin of loving. As one can see, my sexuality at an early age was wrapped up in politics, religious proclamations, and fear. It was only when I assimilated myself in a community of gay people that I truly understood that the myth based rhetoric was wrong and damaging to my well-being. Identify when you were first aware of yourself as a sexual being. How/when did that come about? The bombast of politics and religion was not in my world view when I first discovered that I stood as a sexual being. When I was in kindergarten, I became aware that something was driving me (a feeling) toward physical contact with another person even though they were male or female. Did I know what “sex” was at that time? I am not sure. My parents were brought up in the generation of “free love” and were extraordinarily sexually open around me as far back as I could remember. I knew physical contact
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