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My Weaknesses In College

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Throughout my time at USC, my pace of life has change dramatically. At certain phases of my college career, I saw many weakness. One of my major weakness was my indecisiveness attitude toward life. I was the young indecisive fool who mess up his freshman year by trying to define success as attaining reputable degrees. I had associate majoring in engineering, biological sciences, or economics as the pathway to success. During that time, I did not know what I wanted in life. Did I want to be a doctor, engineer, lawyer, or an employee for a firm? The self generated pressure led me to creating ridiculously rigorous schedule, which force me studying ten hours daily without scoring well on my exams. I begin to question my academic ability and my fading future of being successful. A 3.2 GPA was not going to get me into medical school, and I might not be intelligent enough to handle engineering. Self doubt became my second weakness, which only worsen when I return to Chicago after my freshman year.
I was back home for less than a week, but I saw my mother’s tearing up. This was the first time I saw my mother crying while discussing about my grandma’s health. We had talked over the phone that my grandma had undergone surgery from a leg injury during the second semester of my freshmen year. My mother told me, “grandma had recovered and cared by my aunt in China”. My aunt was a very family oriented person, so I was relief my grandma was in good hands. This was the reality I had embraced.
Yet, my mother’s burst of tears instill a sense of guilt for my failure to understand my mother. At that moment, as a son, I gave her a little massage and words of comfort. A few days later, I overheard a conversation between my mom and dad that led me to speculation for why my mom, a person who never cries, cried. Eavesdropping their conversation from my room, I heard my dad saying “She did not want to do it, but she was not here anymore, so move on”. At first, I had no idea who my parents were referring to. I had the scary thought in my life: one with .001% chance of occurring. After my mom left for the shower, I asked my dad, “Did my grandma commit suicide?” My dad finally told me the news. My grandma had jump

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