Myths About Preparing for Marriage Essay

People believe that marriage is easy and is the key to love and happiness, but in reality marriage is harder than it looks. Everyone marries for different reasons, for good or for bad. People today don’t understand the meaning of marriage; it is more than just money and appearance. Seeing today’s world of marriage is being influenced by media shows like Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, and Murray makes you realize how society today identifies marriage different. Couples who live unmarried will be happier and have more choices than those that are married in agreement with Catherine Newman’s essay called I Do. Not.: Why I Won’t Marry in the book “Acting Out Culture: Reading and Writing “, by: James S. Miller. Catherine Newman is a writer and an author

There comes a point in everyone’s life that this question or subject is brought up - “Are you dating anyone?” “When are you guys getting married?” When these questions are asked from family and friends, it pressures people into finding that special one. Even though, people do experience those desires and questions for themselves; does it make it right to feel that need? What is marriage? Is marriage a contract or love? What if marriage is not what people perceive it to be? What if marriage is not the happily ever after often seen in the movies? Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens are two scholars that wrote a piece entitled, What If Marriage Is Bad for Us? that contended the institution purpose of marriage is obsolete and in reality bad for society, and how marriage can lead to changed, unhealthy, and distressed.

When looking for a partner to settle down with, one usually seeks someone who is similar to them. They might look for individuals with similar hobbies, beliefs or even age. The reason behind this is due to a theory known as Social Homogamy. Social Homogamy is when individuals are attracted to a person of a similar ethnicity, race, age, or maybe even beliefs. (Gonzalez, n.d). Due to this, there is ultimately a correlation between sameness and compatibility as when people are more alike they might relate and get along better. When people see others who are like them, they subconsciously become attracted to them along with having feelings of trust and comfort (Patel, 2017). This eventually leads to a closer bond and possibly a more successful relationship (Patel, 2017). The purpose of this research is to examine why marrying within a specific social group is more advantageous than marrying an individual of a different social group. Firstly, individuals of different social classes tend to have different norms, and this leads to key differences. Secondly, the distinctions in age groups between the couple can negatively affect a couple’s marriage due to dissimilarity, thus leading to dispute. Lastly, when a partner of an individual is from the same or similar social group, they will fit in and better adapt to their partner’s lifestyle. Therefore, marrying within the same social group is more advantageous than being with a partner opposite to them. This can be proven through the

Modern, contemporary society’s mindset on marriage has shifted considerably over the years. Some research has noted the increase in early sexual experiences, greater acceptance of cohabitation and the increase in narcissistic tendencies, are complicating and muddying the ideals of what marriage means to people today. Research done on this subject resulted in several studies that found that spouses who did not believe that marriage would last forever, were less likely to commit to the relationship financially and were more likely to have extramarital affairs.

The majority of people who join together with their significant other through the act of marriage hope and dream that marriage will surround them with infinite love and happiness; unfortunately that is not always the case. In fact, “according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2013 American Community Survey, 10 percent of Maine women and 11 percent of men in Maine are divorced.”1 Though 10 and 11 percent seem like fairly small percentages, 10 percent of Maine women is approximately 67,831 women, and 11 percent of Maine men is approximately 71,506 men, which truly are not small figures to take into consideration. Since marriages do not always have a happy ending

A common issue seen with this is the concept of arranged marriage. Some might think that this tradition only happens in third world or foreign countries. This is not the case. A journalist from Harvard, Anita Jain, writes about her difficulties and her parent’s persistence to get her married. Anita said, “My parents, in a very earnest bid to secure my eternal happiness, have been trying to marry me off to, well, just about anyone lately.” Although this could be seen as her parents trying to help her and find her a spouse, think if it was you in that position.

Marriage has been a heated controversy for the past few years because people often marry for the wrong reasons. Anyone who thinks of an ideal marriage would think of two people loving each other and sharing a personal bond or goals together. Marriage is regularly defined as the legally or formally recognized union of two lovers as partners in a personal relationship. This definition remarks there is an actual connection between two people in marriage, but do people actually consider this when committing to “love” and “support” their partners forever? As research and studies have shown, people ultimately get married for many reasons, except love. This philosophy can be easily applied to the short poem, “Marriage” by Gregory Corso. In this emotional poem, the author argues marriage is more effectively understood or known for culture and convenience rather than through the abstract considerations of love. Here, we can identify people generally decide to marry for the incorrect reasons, for instance the story of the author himself. Corso finds himself confused multiple times, wondering if he should marry to not be lonely, for tradition and for his physical and mental health. He disregards love, a relationship or a connection with his future wife. General ways of convenience like loneliness, health and economic status between cultural stereotypes and religion are usually the true reasons of why people chose to have the commitment of marriage with another person.

Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’

The question we all ask is how do we know we will marry the right person or the wrong and why. Well in the Article Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person by Alain DeBotton he brings up the things that people do wrong that lead to marring the wrong person. He puts together all these different reasons and lists them all off he then he says “It doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person” (Botton). We may have married the wrong person but it’s possible nobody will be that perfect person because they really truly do not exist.

When embarking on any new venture in your life you need to follow steps that lead up to that instant, so below is a checklist that you and your future spouse should follow in order to secure that you’ve chosen the right individual help in this big step. Before you and your spouse chose

In the book, Finding the Love of Your Life, Dr. Neil Warren proposes reasons why America is faced with high divorce rates and he persuades couples to avoid what he calls seven deadly mate-selection errors. Dr. Warren encourages couples to spend plenty of time together before getting married instead of choosing to get married too quickly. He advises people to get married when they are near thirty so they can be able to establish their life morals and goals. If we are not ready for marriage Dr. Warren does not want us to follow through with it and he does not want us to let anyone persuade us to get married. According to Dr. Warren, we should not worry about trying to please our parents with the choice of marriage because we will be the ones

One of the main things people do when they feel great chemistry between one another is get married. Some couples are unable to maintain their relationship and they get a divorce; which is one of the solutions to solve the problems between husband and wife. Most people think carefully before they get married however the divorce rates are continuously increasing.

Men and women should get to know one another completely before deciding to get married. Important issues such as religion, finances, career, and whether or not to have children should be discussed so that the couple can learn each other’s views regarding the

Crawford (2012) described many difference characteristics in mate selection which may potentially lead to marriage. She first describes marriage as being institutionalized because the laws (and certain religions) tells you who you can and cannot marry, when you can marry, and the responsibilities to each other while married. Yet people are infatuated with the ideology of love and romance. People choose their partners as individuals and expect to live their marriages according to their own needs and wishes (Crawford, 2012). Something that can explain why people choose to get married can be the marriage gradient. The marriage gradient states that women have the tendency to “marry up” and men tend to “marry down” (Crawford, 2012). This came

Marriage is the socially recognized union of two or more people. Selecting a marriage partner is very much a culturally defined process. The rules governing selection vary widely from society to society and are more often complex. How would you go about selecting a mate? Where would you begin? What criteria would you use? When we look around the world to see how other societies deal with these questions, it is clear that the ways of selecting a mate or a marriage partner has been changed from generation to generation.