Narrative Essay: The Day John Edward Boltz Died

It’s a struggle to get out of bed sometimes, I often just sit there struggling to comprehend the sequence of events which have taken place over the past year. I mean, I’m used to this now, its normal to me, but the fact that this has happened and that I am now ‘disabled’ as people would put it is hard to get my head around. And every time I look down I’m reminded of the pain and the struggle I faced, it’s a physical scar which links me to my grueling past, a physical and emotional journey.

On May 11th 2013, my grandma passed away due to pancreatic cancer. A little later that year on September 25th, my mom received a call from my aunt in Guam that my dad had passed away in his sleep. Then on May 14th 2014, my grandpa passed from complications of an allergic reaction to a medication. So within a year, I was left to deal with three immediate family deaths, one right after another. Losing such important figures in one’s life could leave someone depressed and unmotivated to move on with their own life and to rise above those challenges is difficult, yet possible. During this time of hardship, I grew discouraged and saddened, but over time I became motivated to set aside these struggles and make a change.

When he was able to talk he said to me “I’m sorry that you have to see me this way, I’m supposed to be the big strong brother.” That broke my heart and I just didn’t want to lose my brother, we’re just so close. Over the last week of summer I sat in his hospital room with him from 7 in the morning until 6 in the afternoon. I didn’t want to be anywhere but with him.

Depression is a negative feeling of hopelessness and feeling like you don’t belong. It can affect anyone at anytime without warning. Being in such a depressed neurological state makes people act certain ways and do certain things. According to the medical research group Mayo Clinic:

However, with changes in society it has come to describe those who suffer from pervasive lowering of mood preventing them from living a normal life. Conditions range from person to person. It may vary from mild, brief occasional dips in a person's mood to a severe lifelong persistence in extensive depressive episodes characterizing a person with intense feelings of self-worthlessness. Overall depression is a very common mental health disorder, however it is still highly misunderstood. This disorder is seen to be “one of the greatest, if not the greatest disease burden of the twenty first century”. (Mulholland.1) As this disorder brings distress to millions of households across the nation, it is frequently misdiagnosed or simply not seen as an issue of concern at all. Leading to “a great deal of suffering and a substantial number of deaths”. (Mulholland.1) Alas, the condition sadly evokes a lot of stigma. The lack of personal experience and knowledge residing with most people causes feelings of superiority in those who the condition does not affect. This causes tears in the social fabric and worsens things for those that do have

Looking back on this moment the Bible verse “ God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers” truly comes to mind for me and my family. The quote tells me that when all is bad and wrong God has a higher plan and always looks out for you. Another thing that is shown to me is that Kyle is in a better place in heaven then on earth. I finally realize that I believe I am a strong soldier and I have the power to get through

The sky and all its beautiful colors are all that were running through my mind. I didn't notice it then, but that was the last day we ever had those moments not only there but back home too. I never expect for him to leave, which was foolish. He found happiness in the bottom of a drink, how couldn't alcohol take him? I realize we're all trying to kill that pain somehow. I didn't imagine his death would take a hold of my life, but in a way it did. You see he was the only close death, I experienced in my 17 years, before him I didn't think death would ever influence me, for it was just a life check everyone check off eventually. I took his death as unexplained for so long, all I had angry and unresolved feelings and they controlled a part of my life. I know that pain will always be there, but my life couldn’t stop, I couldn’t let this unresolved grief influence me as my uncles did. Although death is a sad thing, you have must choose whether to let it destroy oneself or sharpen it. I’m still on the path of understanding how life is after the death, still I remember he loved us and he isn’t sadden anymore, and that gives me joy and keeps on

At a time when the loss of a loved one can bring sorrow and grief that is difficult to bear, we pray that you do not despair, for God’s love will keep you with a perfect peace that is beyond compare.

I was diagnosed with the disorder at the age of 16, but I’ve been displaying symptoms since I was five. From stabbing my forearm with pens to trying to drown myself in the bathroom sink in kindergarten to suffocation with plastic bags to self-mutilation to starvation and back to self-mutilation. I always thought that life was unfair and it wouldn’t get any better. For a long time, I convinced myself that I was worthless, stupid, ugly, a waste of space and that I was better off dead. I never had days where I was happy and thought I could concur the world. My

He underwent major back surgery which with a miracle it was a huge success and got him back on his feet. After a long recovery process from the surgery and still battling this illness we finally found out what was wrong. He is one of four people in the world to have a illness called perm disease. The best feeling in the world was when they came out and told me they have found the problem and that it was treatable. After sending his blood work all the way to London UK, they found it. It was a miracle. To look at him then I was bracing myself to say goodbye. Leaving him in the hopsital in a different city every night was tougher than imaginable. But, looking at him today it's like nothing happened he's back to normal. Through this process I talked to many doctors, nurses, family and friends.

Have you ever felt so broken and lost that you believed you simply couldn’t keep going on in life, as if the barriers of your life caved in and suffocated the very existence in which you lived? This pain was all that I knew in the months following my grandfather’s loss to cancer in July of 2008. Fighting until his dying breath, it was a moment in my life that rocked and shattered my heart like fragile glass. His death required me to adapt to and appreciate life and showed me that no obstacle is to big overcome if you maintain hope and a positive outlook.

I looked up at James. He stared straight ahead, out at the trees. His face was perfectly still and serious. I could see how hard he tried to hold it together for everyone, but the bloodshot lines that surrounded the blue of his eyes, told me he had cried just as much. He turned his face to look at me and I smiled just a little, to reassure him I was here, I would always be here.

When I turned 11-years-old my whole childhood began to change my life went from being perfect to everything but perfect. One day I came home to hear the news my father, my best friend; my hero was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. Not knowing the struggle my family was about to take on I just began to cry. I had a million things running through my head what’s going to happen? Will everything be okay? Why him? What is going to happen? With all these things rushing through my head all I could do was cry not knowing this was least worse to come.

Learning that everyone’s time is precious and we should live every moment alongside the people we love the most, because we’ll never be too sure when they’re going to leave us. Till this day it still doesn’t feel real, I keep telling myself that one day she’ll be back and everything will be ok. She was the heart and soul of our family where we all would gather at Thanksgiving time or just on a regular day. Her home was always full of joy and excitement but now it’s full of loneliness and darkness. She is gone now, to a new home, a home called

My cousin, Richard, was such an inspiration to my two brothers and me. I looked up to him for everything. He was an amazing athlete who would never give up on or off the baseball field. I never knew how fast something could be taken away until January 12. I thought the world was just simply punishing me, but then I realized that I couldn’t control what happened even if I wanted to.