Nausea Monologue

Entry #1: I feel like i’m spinning, but i’m standing still everything seems so fuzzy and I can’t stop moving. My friends are starting to notice something's wrong. I see people in the hallway who whisper things like “i’m gonna kill you”. I can’t identify the difference between reality, and what my brain makes up. I told my parents about what the people in the hallway say but they don’t believe me. I don’t know how to tell them how I feel, but I don’t trust them either.

Groggily, my eyes squint open. I feel a fever coming on, and I’m weak. This isn't the cliff side… where am I? I want to move but my muscles scream in protest. It’s even a huge effort to open my eyes all the way, and process where I am. The forest… Im at the tree line. But how…

This is all a massive destruction. It’s beginning to feel humid, like my throat is closing in with every second passing. My evidently distressed state is causing my thought process to corrupt. I can feel the adrenaline fluctuate throughout my body, craving a plan of action.

You felt your knee raise itself unconsciously as it climbed onto the window sill, you leaned outward. It was like breathing in clarity, like everything became so clear to you: you were on the third floor of some rotten hotel about to kill yourself. You needed to make this count. You felt you stomach rage uncertainly, beckoning the question on whether or not you wanted this. You inwardly told your body sorry for wasting it. You hoped your body could be still put up for organ harvesting for those who needed it. You were sorry to the organs who wouldn't get that

I am now forced to lie awake, alone and scared, too afraid to sleep, while horrific images intrude my mind, disturbing what little sanity I have left. I feel that I am losing my mind; I am losing control over my body, my thoughts and actions. When I look at my hands, I do not see the once soft, white skin of a noble woman, but the blood-stained hands of a cold blooded killer. I do not know how long I can carry on. Sooner or later I feel that I will snap. Like a rope stretched so tight, its frayed and withered thread cannot bear the stress any longer. My body, seemingly fine, will soon resemble my broken and corrupted mind, as I lie, motionless, on the remorseless earth below. Finally I will find the peace that has escaped me, finally I will not be confined within a mind that has long surrendered all logic, reason and clarity, and will finally be free.

We went back to FOB McHenry after the Medevac arrived. We never caught up with the rest of the elements, so we were never even a part of the main effort. My vehicle had to be towed to the FOB, so we received a ride from another platoon. Once we got back there my Senior Scout took me to go look at my vehicle in the maintenance bay. There was a hole exactly where the TC seat was. The pieces started to come together. I couldn’t push through the kill zone because the battery box is under the TC seat, so with the battery gone, we weren’t going anywhere. We had never been blown up on a dirt road, it has always been on a main route, and it usually came from the side of the road, never underneath. This was a game changer for us.

“Bien, pero había mucho trabajo, algunos de los cuartos estaban muy sucios.” Mami responded beginning to complain about her day. After they talked about their day, Luis began to ask the question he asks every day: “Can you give me money, I need it for gas?” With a dry, neutral tone he takes a sip of his ice cold Budweiser, with a blank, careless face, he begins to question my mother if she has any money for him. My mother with her now abrasive tone she tells him that she’s tired of giving him money every single day. “You used all the money I gave you?” Mami inquired, even when she knew the answer. “Well, you didn't give me enough!” He responded beginning to raise his voice. As little as twenty dollars a day and as much as a hundred a night intimidated she gives it to him. Scared thinking, “If I don’t, what’s going to happen to me, or even worse, what’s going to happen to my children?”

I stood at the very rock where she had last lied. Her putrid string of words interfering with my line of sight. I had only met her days back, however, I had felt I had known her for eternity. A constant pressure of darkness looming over my back.

Forced to lie awake, alone and scared, too afraid to fall asleep, horrifying images intrude my mind, disturbing what little sanctity I have left. I feel that I am going insane, I am losing control over my body, my thought, my actions. When I look at my hands, I do not see the soft, milky skin of an aristocratic lady, but the calloused,

The heavy mint cream white fog pours into the room from all sides near and far. In the foreground I can see brilliant cherry red and lime green laser lights flood the room. The four strobe lights positioned behind me are all scintillating a pearl white, in a synchronized pattern. Hundreds of people all sitting out in front of us fill the whole room. The giant vermillion and charcoal colored stage curtains hang from the ceiling all the way down to the floor on the stage right in front of us. Then the giant curtain splits in half both ends quickly accelerating left and right.

That night I didn’t know what lied ahead for me, I just wanted to clear my head from the tragedy that was left for me.  The one thing I can’t decided is which took the bigger toll on me the physical damages or the mental.  Here we will jump in to the horrific things that have happened to me. You may not believe a single word I utter. I tell you this really did happen, this story is true, and I’m not insane.  Let me introduce myself before we get into the story.  I am Izzy Hallis.

A metallic taste fills your mouth as yet another blow hits. Your bones ache as you force yourself to stand. Your arm oozes blood as you cover your swollen face with it. The red dirt below clings to your sweat stained skin. Your muscles tense as you feel the rope around your neck pull taught. A car starts. The idle of the engine reverberates through your already shaking body. A voice calls out over the roar of the vehicle.

My life was flashing before my eyes, I was realizing what was happening death was coming. Cold and stillness filled the room while the feeling of death started to overtake my body it was a different feeling but it had to come. My limbs felt heavy and I thought real slow everything was slowing down. Just then something odd happened like nothing I ever thought some sound came into the room an annoying buzzing creature.

Months on end I tried to rid the voices from the head, but my efforts were in vain. I snapped. Visions of gruesome murders flew in and out of my head. My memories were like a tangled ball of yarn. The muscles within me twitched uncontrollably; I let out a blood-curdling scream that echoed throughout the ominous night. The pain felt like something was trying to take over my body

Hello! I am so sorry for not writing sooner. As of right now, I am working as a nurse in a makeshift hospital for the soldiers. The experience is extremely interesting. I have learned so many life lessons and I am now much more appreciative of my surroundings. I always hear stories from the soldiers telling me of their time in battle. The reality of the war is worse than anyone would expect. It is extremely heartbreaking. I hope you and the rest of the family will keep all of the soldiers in your prayers, as I will. They really need motivation and encouragement to help them overcome the obstacles of life in battle. One soldier told me about his experience of watching his best friend die. As he spoke, tears welled up in his eyes and it was hard