Negative Experience In My Life

When I was 3 years old my mother and father got divorced. My father was abusive due to drugs and my mother couldn't handle it anymore. After my parents got divorced my sister Julie and I saw my father every other weekend. My father got more into drugs after the divorce and my sister and I didn’t get to see him much. When I was 7 years old my father got put in jail. Since my sister and I were only children we didn't understand why our father left. Our father was in and out of county jail during our life D.U.I’s, starting fights with people, hitting my mother. We didn’t know much about what our father did because he didn’t want us to know because we were too young. But my father was sentenced about 30 days in county jail. My sister and I missed

INTRO: “ Grief is NOT a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve” (Earl Grollman)

. It still felt too close to a man I had only felt hate and distrust for. The stories I had heard through my mother and the memories from a little girl’s past left me with nothing else.

From birth to death, loss is an inevitable part of each person`s lifetime. Most people are loved as soon they come into this world, but are loved by many more when they go. Nonetheless, in the journey of life, people will face obstacles that will shape them into different people than they were yesterday, and most people will find themselves loving another person at one point in time. However, certain circumstances, such as death or a breakup, can cause a person to feel like the entire world is crashing down upon his or her shoulders. Some deaths can be signaled by sickness or old age, but like anything, some do come unexpectedly. The same trend goes for breakups as well. Sometimes, a breakup can come as a shock to one person or both people

I may have not realised it but March 5, 2002 was the hardest day, even if I have no recollection of it. When you're 2 years old you don't recall much but snippets , like being given 2 small goldfish. Which is my only real memory of my father. Now for a while my aunt moved in after that day, I thought that was normal. Until I about was 5. I noticed many children getting picked up from daycare by their fathers. When I finally asked my mother where my father was she gave me a somber look and remained silent. Which was the response I’d constantly get she always had a difficult time communicating about him with me. It was hard- really hard. Especially when I learned the truth, about three years later.

There are moments in everyone’s life that have the possibility to make or break them. A person can choose to succumb to the brutality of this long ride they call life or can climb out of the pit of despair and face your challenges head-on. I found myself at a crossroads and had this choice to make when my father passed away. This is my most life changing moment, but it isn’t even a moment, yet more like a snowball effect that has caused mass destruction throughout my entire life. Even though I have lost so much because of my father’s death, it is because of this that I have gained so much such as perseverance and responsibility.

Grief is the price we pay for love, and in conclusion to this, love is the gift we receive for dealing with grief. There is always a rainbow at the end of a hurricane after all. A storm never lasts, it eventually passes but before you can allow it to pass you need to accept the situation and you need to keep your head held high and move on but you can only do that through writing, through talk, through telling. Through pure, simple, honesty and then you will be set free.”

Human life narrative is incomplete without talking about grief. Man goes through moments of mourning and grief when faced with terminal illnesses, death of a close relative or friend or animal. We respond differently when faced by challenging situations, some will outwardly, in tears when thoughts of the experience runs in their mind while others will hurt from the inside. Our role is not to judge how a person griefs (Axelrod, 2014, p. 1) but rather to offer support in these moments.

Sorrow flows forth from the soul of one experiencing an ending relationship. The loss experienced reaps a new kind of depression, where it feels like part of the body has been ripped from ones hands and thrown into the wind. Anger arises with wings of a phoenix, desperate to replace the tears on ones face with fists in the air and leaves the body breathless on the ground shaking with exhaustion. It is nights of lonely music and cold bed sheets. The internal pain of losing another individual with whom one has shared part of their life with compares to nothing else.

My life has had its ups and downs and, for that, I am utterly grateful; for it has made me a stronger and better person. As a child, I had a simple but fruitful childhood. I was born before one in the afternoon, and I am told that I was welcomed with much love on February 13, 1992, in National City, California. I was named after my father’s youngest brother to commemorate his honor. I would be the last child my parents would ever have. My father had been married twice and fathered a total of five boys. Growing up, I would say, that we as a family, had our ups and downs just like any other family; however, our ups and downs, in the end, ultimately, always brought us closer and closer –we learned to lean on each other, to support one another, to preserve each other. This, I believe, helped me for what was to come. In my early years, my mother fell into an illness that she would never overcome. It vastly impacted my life in the most dramatic way possible. After her passing, it was like a great icon in my life was now gone… an icon that would never return. The months that followed were the hardest in my life. But with the help of my loving father and brothers I would prevail; I would eventually fill this hole in my heart and raise to an enhanced me. The void left from my mother’s passing helped bring the family even closer; it was like a cliché: for the most intense of hopes come from the saddest tragedies.

I have lived in grief for almost ten years and as a result I obtained a blazing strength inside me that is far beyond than many other individuals’. Most people would try to forget or avoid the topic of death. I on the contrary, tried to fight with my depression; I stood strong and took his death as a motivation to fulfill my life. The strength I possess formed through grief and continues to grow from new hardships that I confront.

Death of a loved one can be overwhelming. The world changes for those in grief. While some may be grateful that loved one is no longer suffering, countless others were not prepared for a family member or friend’s life to end. Maybe the death was sudden or sudden, the child died, nobody can prepare those left behind for the anguish of experiences. Grief often lies beyond words, beyond the simple explanation of of our conscious minds. It is in the unconscious, the mystery of life, that expression the deep wounds and traged of lossis found (Earl, 2007).

I was born in the town called ‘Gang-Seo’ which is the western side of the river that passes through the capital of South Korea. I used to hang around with my friends at the small park that is located on the back side of the old white apartment complex where I lived. When I turned six years old, my family moved into the town called ‘Gang-Nam’ is the southern side of the river. The atmosphere was really different from where I had lived, since all of my new friends went to private institutions after school. I couldn’t communicate and play with my friends for a long time, since I didn’t go to those places. I felt lonely. I didn’t have much time to have a conversation in my home either, because my brother, who is seven years older than I, do always stayed outside until the late evening and my parents both worked at the time. But there was a person who made me smile sometimes: my grandmother. She used to tell me a lot of her old-time stories and play pranks on me, all the time such as making me try weird food which she improvised and answering my questions with annoying wordplay that I couldn’t understand. To me, she wasn’t just grandmother, also my best friend.

In life there are many obstacles a person will face, such as school, work, family and time.

The morning dew was still on the ground from the steady drizzle the night before as I glanced outside to inspect the weather. I woke up as usual that morning around three o’clock threw my sweatshirt on, stuffed my bag with a dry towel and suit, grabbed some breakfast, and headed off. I didn't rush this time frantically trying to make it there on time. Instead I walked to my car step by step as my mind slowly turned to mush from the feeling of my life slipping away. I knew that as an millennial older generations saw me as an sheltered child, coddled through all my problems. If only this was true I thought, oh how life would be different. I was being crushed by an ever growing pressure to remain swimming on an national level, but still obtain and function within my two jobs. On top of all of this school was to be my primary focus, but I was unable to effectively operate in my school work because of this consuming monster. To them though it's only two jobs, it's only swimming morning and afternoon, it's only school. To them we aren't teens or young adults but children who are given everything.