Outline Of ' 4 Mat Book '

Since conflict is made up of individuals with their own perceptions it only makes sense that there lie different paths that conflict can take. Some of the different paths that are destructive in nature are the “escalatory spiral” (Hocker & Wilmot 29) and “avoidance spiral” (Hocker & Wilmot 32). These spirals are made up of not only speech but physical actions that mean to damage another or seek to lessen the relationship between themselves. It is important to recognize what type of conflict spiral is happening so you may view the situation clearly and see what the next step is to possibly fix this problem before it escalates past the point of repair.

Conflict gets a bad rap. We automatically assume that conflict will collapse a relationship. Some of us avoid conflict like the plague, thinking that if we close our eyes to a potential clash, it doesn’t exist.

The way that I can grow to be more like Christ through this conflict is to learn to draw on His grace and practice new attitudes and habits. I can call on Him when I am quick to anger, or to voice an opinion that may not be holy. When people provoke and frustrate me I can practice love and forgiveness. This has been another big step for me as I have found myself quick to anger in recent months but I look forward to walk it out, as Christ would expect me to.

Confronting without offending is a methodology that is often attempted but rarely achieved. The reason why it is rarely achieved can be linked to several different reasons, which were illustrated by an inspiring author by the name of Deborah Smith Pegues. The author says, “Every offense has the potential to cause a permanent breach in a relationship.” That’s why there is confrontation, which she defines as simply “the act of coming together face-to-face to resolve an issue” (Pegues, 2009). What made her different then a lot of other authors; through her writing and experiences she provides us with the right tools to reconstruct conflict. Not to mention she graciously revealed to us effective method to use face-to-face confrontation to build

All of us will face conflict in our lives, it is inevitable. Pegues, in her book, Confronting without offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict, gives the reader a thorough guide to confronting others with a biblical twist. She divides the book into five sections: Confrontation: The Bridge to Harmony, Biblical Confrontation and Conflict Management Styles, Strategies for an Effective Confrontation, Confrontation and Personality temperaments, and finally, Confrontation Guidelines for Selected Situations. In part one, Pegues guides the reader through the goal of confrontation and explains the differences between confrontation and retaliation. She accomplishes this using scripture such as, romans 12:18, “If it is possible,

The first approach to conflict resolution that will be discussed is “carefronting,” which was coined by David Augsburger a professor of pastoral care. Dr. Augsburger was a believer in the fact that conflict is inevitable but it is the way that it is managed that affects relationships. “Carefronting is a method of communication that entails caring enough about ones self, ones goals, and others to confront conflict courageously in a self-asserting, responsible manner.” (Carefronting: An innovative approach to managing conflict, 2012) There are seven principles associated with carefronting; truthing it, owning anger, inviting change, giving trust, ending blame, getting unstuck and peacemaking. Using carefronting in the scenario above, would first

Most people shy away from confrontation because it’s painful for both parties. It easier to ignore the offense than to rock the boat and create waves that supposedly is going to drown everyone. Most people presume that the best way to maintain peace is not to confront. Nevertheless, the wrong way to attain peace only drives people to pieces. As the saying goes, ‘No pain, no gain’, confrontation may be unpleasant, but the result can be sweeter if it is done correctly.

Conflict is a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one between people with opposing opinions or principles. If unresolved, the disagreement can take up large amount of time, energy, and money, leaving you emotionally and spiritually devastated. Worst of all, as long as a disagreement is unresolved, there is the potential for further damage to a relationship. This is one of the reasons for Jesus’ command to settle disputes with others as quickly as possible. “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth,

Conflict management is different with every company. Situations differ between companies, individual departments, or individual employees. Companies should always keep in mind the styles of conflict when determining how to manage conflict. The styles only play a partial role in conflict management. Other considerations are to determine the type of culture an organization has and how previous conflict has been managed and learn from those actions. Conflict cultures are the ways that individuals are familiar with doing things. Companies would benefit by managing conflict with a small group or department first and work up. A small group or department are familiar with the way one does things and the attitudes and behaviors are normal and familiar to everyone, making conflict management easier (Gelfand, Leslie, Keller & De Dreu,

     Since the way one deals with conflict within the relationship will affect how the relationship progresses, it is vital that one

The term conflict resolution implies that the purpose of interventions is to resolve the conflict (Barsky, 2017, p. 4). Conflict resolution was significant in my childhood, upbringing, and origin. Conflicts were resolved through varied approaches including prayers, counselling, and confrontations. Currently, these practices have influenced the way I handled conflict both at a professional and a personal level.

In my opinion therefore, and from the forgone discussion of the different conflict handling styles, collaboration and compromise are the best styles of handling conflicts. The best way to handling a conflict is to better and properly analyze the conflict to examine the causes of the conflict, the actors involved, their interests and positions in the conflict. All of these options are provided for when using the compromise and collaboration styles in handling a conflict. But this is greatly aided by the willingness of the parties to resolve their differences in a proper and sustainable way. When the parties to a conflict are willing to cooperate with each other through compromise or collaboration devise a solution that each finds acceptable, an organization is more likely to achieve its goals. Conflict management strategies that managers can use to ensure the conflicts are resolved in a functional manner focus on individuals and on the organization as a whole. Following, I will describe four strategies that focus on individuals: increasing awareness of the sources of the conflict, increasing diversity awareness and skills, practicing job rotation or temporary assignment, and using permanent transfers or dismissal when necessary. There are also two strategies that focus on the organization as a whole: changing and organization’s structure or culture and

Conflict is rarely unavoidable when in close relationships. As the text states, people most commonly handle conflict in one of five ways: accommodation, avoidance, collaboration, competition, or reactivity. There are positive and negative possibilities of outcomes from using any of the five approaches to handling conflict (262). Accommodation involves an individual’s abandonment of his/her own goals to the desires of the other individual, whereas avoidance, a lose-lose conflict style, involves various techniques that involve lower risk to the individual than direct confrontation. Collaboration and competition differ mainly over the value of personal needs or goals. Collaboration involves using compromise, where every person involved are willing to alter his/her views to reach a solution to the conflict. Competition is a more direct approach involving a clash of goals which exists because one will pursue their own goals without regard for others. Reactivity is characterized as nonstrategic and is communicated in a negative way. I argue the combination of collaborating and avoiding is an effective combination because in order for an individual to effectively and efficiently solve problems individuals must know when to redirect conversation to a more relevant topic and have the ability to take the emotion out of problem solving.

We are responsible for our actions in every situation. Choosing appropriate conflict style is the key to effective conflict prevention and management. We use our favorite conflict style in conflict situations but we can choose a different style when it is needed. I have never thought of my conflict style before. The quiz provided in this course gave me an opportunity to rediscover this aspect of myself. The style of conflict management quiz tells me that I have the ‘orange’ conflict style. It tells me that I have a collaborative style of managing conflict.

It is not always easy for people to resolve conflicts due to pride, ego and pain. When these three things are at the center of our thoughts, we don’t have room to focus on how others may be feeling or why they think what they do. At this point the conflict with remain stagnant and will not change until we are able to reevaluate ourselves. Once this is done, we are able to keep an open mind when speaking to someone else who may have a difference of opinion which in turn may lead to conflict