Outline and Evaluate One Theory of the Formation of Romantic Relationships (4+8 Marks)

Nature and nurture both rely on the brain to help organisms make relationships, learn, and develop over time. Neuroscientists have recently tested the brain: “Neuroscience has discovered that the brain’s very design makes it sociable, inexorably drawn into an intimate brain-to-brain linkup whenever engaged with another person”(Goleman). The relationships that people are involved in help mold them: “Relationships have the power to not only mold human experience but also human biology”(Goleman). Relationships impact people on an emotional level and people are easily influenced by the internal state of the people that surround them. Interactions with others affect the brain and body of everyone that is interacted with. The brain is also referred to as the social brain: “The social brain is

The social exchange theory controls our behavior as well as the reinforcement for our actions because before we act in most circumstances, we will weigh the rewards and costs of the behaviors. The behavior that we use is the one believed to produce the highest reward and the lowest cost. What we may perceive to be acceptable or unacceptable in the relationship is our comparison level that we weigh the rewards and costs against. The comparison level of alternatives is when we weigh the rewards and costs relative to the perceived alternatives. People also have a comparison level for the alternative relationships. With a high comparison level, we may believe the world is full of lovely people just waiting to meet us. When this level is low, we may stay in a high-cost relationship simply because we believe we could not find any better elsewhere. Molm (1991) shows that in recent research on individual judgments losses have a greater effect on people then gains.

3.1 Process involved in the development, maintenance and breakdown of relationships – development - Reward/need satisfaction model direct reinforcement may encourage the formation of a relationship between individuals. Operant conditioning could occur where an individual is positively reinforced with the potential partner offering pleasant stimulus such as smiling. Additionally social needs may be provided for by this potential partner such as friendship and sex, furthering the likelihood of a relationship developing. Alternatively negative reinforcement may be involved where a negative stimulus is removed by the potential partner e.g. If a woman helps a man through a troubled time in his life he may find her more attractive as she has helped to alleviate his negative stimuli. Liking through association – Classical conditioning The potential partner may be associated with pleasant circumstances. If someone was to meet another individual while they are in a good mood, they may then associate such individual with the positive mood, finding them more

The second major psychological perspective is that of learning. The perspective of learning is “concerned with how the environment and experience affect a person’s actions” (Wade and Tavris, 2011). When applied to a relationship standpoint many factors come into play. As a child who was raised to respect women, my mom always encouraged me to have healthy long-term relationships and not be a “player”. This lead to me implementing those ideas into my life and sticking with

Relationship satisfaction is an important part of romantic relationships. A lack of satisfaction can lead to consequences in other areas of life and eventually, the destruction of the relationship. For example, job performance is heavily influenced by romantic relationship satisfaction. In a study by Greenhaus and Beutell (1985), they argued that poor satisfaction leads to poor job performance and vice versa. They stated this was to because these two spheres are “interdependent.” Satisfaction can also influence quality of health. Conflict in a marital relationship is associated with higher heart rates and blood pressure (Broadwell & Light, 1999; Ewart, Taylor, Kaemer & Agras, 1991; Flor, Breitenstein, Birbaumer & Furst 1995; Frankish & Linden, 1996; Kiecolt-Glaser, 1993; Mayne, O’Leary, McCrady, Contrada & Labouvie, 1997; Morell & Apple, 1990; Shwartz, Slater & Birchler, 1994; Thomsen & Gilbert, 1998). It is also strongly associated with depression and depressed syndromes (Beach, Fincham & Katz, 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). This relationship between marital conflict and depression seems to be bidirectional meaning depression is not only a result of conflict but also is caused by the conflict (Beach, et. al., 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). Because a lack of relationship satisfaction can negatively affect so many important areas of life, it is important to understand what influences the level of satisfaction held in romantic relationships.

Social exchange theory includes the following concepts: success, stimulus, value, deprivation, satiation, aggression, and approval. Homans defined each of these concepts explicitly in his book and various articles. The success concept which he defines is the principle of reward. (Homans, 1983, p. 33) While stimulus is defined when a stimulus presents itself and it resembles a previously rewarded activity, that individual is likely to repeat that action again. (Homans, 1950, Chapter 4) Homans defined value as a system of rewards and punishments. (Homans, 1983, p. 32) Deprivation and satiation was defined as the more often a reward has recently been received, the less valuable further rewards become. And if forced for a long time to go without a certain reward, an individual will lose interest and move on. (Homans, 1983, p. 33) Lastly, aggression and approval falls under the principle of distributive justice. When behavior does not receive the expected reward the response is anger. Yet, when the individual receives a greater reward than what is expected or does not receive punishment he will be pleased. (Homans, 1950, Chapter 4).

One theory of the formation of a romantic relationship is one put forward by Byrne and Clore called the reward/need satisfaction model. They suggested that we have relationships long term because we find them rewarding, or we don’t like the prospect of being alone.  The rewards from a partner can include friendship, love and sex, or the particular person is associated with pleasant situations so then we want to spend time with them and form a romantic relationship. This can also include the satisfaction from a relationship with a person of high social status, as it would make you look good to other people. These needs can differ from person to person

People constantly evaluate the rewards and costs of their relationship as well as the rewards and costs of interaction with another individual. Rewards and costs can be tangible, such as money or gifts, or psychological, such as social support or intellectual stimulation (Unger & Johnson 604). According to Unger and Johnson, “if the reward/cost balance is more favorable than that of other potential relationships, the person will remain in the relationship, if the costs outweigh the rewards and an alternative relationship with more favorable outcomes is available, the person will leave the existing relationship in favor of the alternative” (604). Yet each reward and cost is different to each individual. To better understand reward and costs is to better understand each individual.

According to Thibauilt and Kelley (1959), people weigh their costs and benefits of their relationship to determine satisfaction and commitment. Essentially meaning people form relationships in which the incentive is more significant than the action. George Homans summarizes his proposition into three sections: (1) rewards

These theories insist that human relationships are made and sustained by evaluating the costs and benefits of entering a relationship, and by comparing them to alternative options. Specifically, I chose the first and second most common principles of this theory in order to analyze my turning points. The first principle is the notion that relationships are initiated out of self-interest. So for example, if a person believes that the relationship could prove beneficial towards personally achieving something, they will be more inclined to pursue that relationship even if it is outside their conscious awareness. The second principle is the notion that rewards and costs are positive and negative outcomes associated with a variety of exchanged resources.

The items were written in a way that allows them to be used for a variety of interpersonal targets (not just romantic relationships) and for a variety of age groups. (Fraley et al, 2011). The Relationship Structures has shown to have high internal validity (Schwarz & Scheuring, 1988).

In today’s society, intimate relationships with significant others are valued differently depending on the each individual. Over the years the norms of relationships have changed: how an individual meets his or her significant other, the interactions that follow the relationship, and the way an individual copes with the expectations of the relationship. Some of the factors that can influence this value is the length of the relationship and the individual’s own uncertainty. Causal uncertainty in the intimate relationship satisfaction is an important topic in people’s daily life. Some people enjoy their short relationship about one to three months, because they think short-term relationship brings them passion and makes them feel stimulated. However, some people think that longer relationship, over one year, makes them feel more satisfied and stable, because they can have more time to know each other and to think about if they are suitable for each other. Also, they can grow and study together. A report lists the advantages of having a long-term intimate relationship. The report discusses that after college your support system might be different as your friends might have moved or have changed in

The equity theory of relationships is the idea that people are happiest in a relationship when they feel there is a balance between their costs and benefits, as well as a balance between what the two individuals are giving (Aronson et al., 2013). Under equity theory are either exchange or communal relationships. In exchange relationships, individuals immediately expect rewards in return for their costs and equity is more consciously kept track of. Communal relationships put less focus on equity and individuals actually enjoy helping the other partner even if without repayment (Aronson et al., 2013). In relationship development, the exchange approach may be used more commonly in order to not feel taken advantage of and create a balance in the relationship. Relationship maintenance will often require transitioning to a communal approach to the relationship. This is characteristic of long-term and intimate relationships because people are no longer counting costs and benefits, but rather focusing on helping the other and thinking that things will eventually balance themselves out (Aronson et al., 2013). These approaches may be affected by the individuals’ similarities. If their values and attitudes are similar, there is a chance their actions will be, as well.

The Needs Satisfaction Theory is based on the behaviourist approach. It states that we form relationships and friendships based on what we will get out of them. There are two strands to this: needs and rewards. Our social needs are things like self esteem, influence, belonging and dependency. The rewards can include love, sex, friendship, respect, status and support, but this list is not exhaustive. Being in the relationship is rewarding, so this is positive reinforcement through operant conditioning. Byrne and Clore's (1970) Reinforcement-Affect theory claims that relationships are affected by operant and classical conditioning. According to their theory, people associate others with positive or enjoyable circumstances even when they are not directly rewarded by them.

To explain human relationships further, the social exchange theory can be another definite explanation to help distinguish how we feel to be with other people and how one perceives to be with them, either to rekindle their relationship or to question the decisions that make to be in a relationship (Kelley 1959). The social exchange theory can be defined as a term that allows behaviour to be exchanged to allow a relationship between two people to happen (Huston et al., 2013). An individual social life involves interactions between two people which can be viewed as social exchanges in terms of costs and benefits (Nakagawa et al., 2013). By taking the view of human relationships the social exchange theory argues that individuals engage in a cost benefit analysis which forms their relationship with others (Milkie et al., 2004). When the costs and benefits are equal in a relationship, it is defined as equitable (Siddiqui 2008). Moreover, romantic relationships may be difficult for some people as it involves interpersonal skills in order to make them mutually satisfying therefore requires constant maintenance. Recently, Psychologists have begun to look at the breakdown of relationships and the characteristics which requires them to fail. The breakdown of relationship is a theory which explains the failure of certain human relationships and the factors that may be involved such as lack