Overcoming Gender Differences Essay

4096 Words 17 Pages
Overcoming Gender Differences

Men and women come from different worlds. Let's face it, they simply can not communicate. Take the following story for example:
Tom and Mary were going to a party. Tom was driving and after about twenty minutes and going around the same block many times, it was clear to Mary that Tom was lost. She suggested that he call for help. Tom became silent. They eventually arrived at the party, but the tension form the moment lasted the entire evening. Mary had no idea why Tom was so upset. Mary, on one hand thought that she was offering Tom help. Tom, on the other hand "heard" that he was incompetent and couldn't get them there, (Gray, 20).

In most instances, men and women interpret each other
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An example of this is in mediation; divorce mediation in particular. By looking at the work done by Ph. D's such as John Gray and Deborah Tannen, and author's like Roger Fisher and William Ury, we can see how gender plays such as important role in Alternative Dispute Resolution. In this paper, I will first explain how men and women come from different worlds, the reasons behind the communication barriers that exist between them, how communication relates to divorce to finally define the importance of gender interchange that lies embedded in the practice of mediation.

I. Men and Women: Two Different Worlds
Most frequent complaints Men offer solutions and women seek to improve. Women complain the most that men do not listen. Either they completely ignore her, or offer a solution to fix it. He is confused that that she doesn't appreciate the gesture. She just wants empathy, and he thinks that she needs a solution. Men complain the most about women trying to change them. She keeps trying to help him, but he just wants her acceptance. "A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results," (Gray, 16). To offer a man excessive advice is to assume that he doesn't know what to do himself. Men do not talk about their problems unless he needs advice form an expert. This is part of the reason why men persist on offering solutions to women's problems. He doesn't understand that support can be enough. On the other hand "A woman's sense
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