Paradox Of Finding Identity Within Sexual Freedom

Unlike sex, the sexuality of a woman is not black or white; it is a complex multi-dimension abstract idea that is repressed from women by society. A female’s sexuality is viewed from our phallus-centered society as the male’s counterpart. Women are viewed as objects for men’s sexual behavior such that the female’s sexual preference is there for men to get off and our language on how we treat them solidifies this idea. Society has made a women’s sexuality so complex that it is unknown to women what they truly like. It has come to a point where if women do not have knowledge about the most sexual part of them, they won’t understand that sex is a type of knowledge in which society is blocking from them. Society is trying to impose a males sexuality,

Men and women face many social obstacles when faced within a community that has demanding masculine and feminine roles. Men are projected to be extremely masculine and not allow fear, anxiety, or vulnerability to show through. Women, on the other hand, are encouraged to be strong, pursue their careers, and experiment with their sexuality. Although women are gaining power, they are still left with a feeling of confusion about themselves. Leslie Bell author of, “Hard to Get: Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom”, reveals the idea of women experimenting sexually, but at the same time experiencing a sense of confusion and pressure to settle down and marry in their twenties. The societal view is confusing for twenty-something women which causes women to demonstrate either/ or thinking within themselves. Bell’s patient, Jayantha is splitting her desires by deciding to be bad and rejecting relationship and not showing signs of vulnerability. Due to her confusion, Jayanthi chose an identity that she could fully control; the bad girl. As mentioned previously, men are also exposed to certain morals within society which are explored in Susan Faludi’s “The Naked Citadel”. All of the cadets live as “humans” behind the walls of The Citadel, where they can express their inner humanity, escape from difficulties of being a man in the real world, while still following the standards of manliness. The Citadel is a place that allows men to detach from the societal

The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women is a book by Jessica Valenti which contains research that shows that there is a prevalent false notion promoted within the United States that a woman's worth is dictated by whether or not she is sexually active. She argues that the country’s intense focus on chastity is damaging to young women and claims that girls remain virgins until they are married. She accomplishes this by putting into context the historical question of purity, modern abstinence-only education, pornography, and public punishments for those who dare to have sex. The Purity Myth presents a revolutionary argument that girls and women are overly valued for their sexuality, as well as solutions

These frameworks aid individuals in shaping and defining their sexual identities as they navigate their way through their sexual debuts (Carpenter, 2002, 2005). In a way, they can be described as virginity scripts. The gift frame is the frame used to describe people that are proud and feel comfortable about their virginity. They view their virginity as a gift and because of this they believe that finding the correct person or as they would put it the “right person” is crucial when thinking about sharing their gift. On the other hand, the stigma frame characterizes individuals who feel ashamed and embarrassed of their virginity. These people believe that their virginity is more of a burden and wish to get rid of it as soon as possible. People in this kind of frame do not think about the “right” person, moment or place, instead they are more concern on obtaining physical pleasure as well as not remaining a virgin. Last but not least, is the process frame. This frame describes individuals who see their virginity as an inevitable stage of life necessary for the transition from youth to adulthood (Carpenter, 2002, 2005). They see their first coitus as a way to gain sexual

Sexuality is a particularly perplexing topic for young women. Bell notes that “Their (women’s) twenties ought to be a decade of freedom and exploration. But… I have found them to be more confused than ever about not only how to get what they want, but what they want.” (Bell 26) Yes, they are young and has so many opportunities in front of them. Yes, most of them have a college degree and are highly educated. Yes, there are too many choices and they are condemned whichever way they choose.

Leslie Bell’s “Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom” encompasses the ambiguity experienced by several women in their quest to find answers as to how to have proper sexual relations in their twenties. Ambiguity, very simply, is uncertainty. Bell’s patients experience this indecision in the lives of women in their “ in-between period of early adulthood” (26). Bell, a psychoanalyst, hones in on culture and environment to better understand the lives of these selected women. The ambiguity experienced by these twenty-something women has triggered disappointment in relation to their parent’s wishes and an unfulfilled answer to each woman’s identity.

It's early afternoon and I'm watching daytime television which leaves you with limited options. I could probably be doing something better with my time however it is summer break. So as a guilty pleasure, I relish in the antics featured on the Maury Show. Normally his show deals with life changing paternity shows. Occasionally, he veers away from his usual format to a once popular format: Is she a man or woman? This is a show that allows the audience to guess the gender of the person. It seems rather straight forward; the entertainment value is that it's difficult to tell at first glance. It forces you to carefully select which phenotypical traits are most appropriate for the gender you select. We all think we can innately tell the

“How we think about sexuality is conditioned and inhibited by a complicated history and, to make our problems worse, that history is in the power of those who have necessarily been antagonistic to women for a very long time. Males generally have been economically and socially superior to women since they became the primary producers and possessors of private property.” (Murphy Robinson, 1984: 251)

Steve Maraboli wrote, “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over, instead of craving control over what you don’t.” While perceptions towards female sexuality have become more and more liberal over time, they still tend towards an expediently bigoted dynamic in which women are only encouraged to be sexual to an extent. The idea of women being self-confident, even single-minded, in cultivating rousing sex lives is still often looked upon as immoral and impure. In Toni Morrisson’s novel Sula, not only is female sexuality lopsidedly categorized, it is seen as worthy for castigation. Missing from the main conceptualization is the blunt acknowledgement that female promiscuity can be empowering.

     It is becoming an increasing phenomenon that women are coming out as lesbians in their middle-adulthood. While defining one’s sexual identity is often a confusing time for youth it becomes that much more difficult for women as they get older. As women age they are more likely to get married, have children, begin careers, and settle into a lifestyle that is dictated to them by patriarchal rules.

My first inkling that something was different was when I went on the Internet this morning and ended up consuming video after video, reading articles, comments, and posts. I have been sitting on the computer for who knows how long now, and it’s clear to me that the majority of the world is homosexual, with it being universally accepted and widely preferred. Heterosexuality was a minority and therefore, so was I.

There has always been and continues to be a double-standard between both genders and the practice of sexual behavior. The practice of sex was to be hidden from public opinion and the idea that sex has to be done in secrecy has carried over through centuries (Markey & Markey 2007). For women, they are to embody all things ladylike which includes the practice of abstaining until marriage. For males, it is encouraged to explore their masculinity and not to apologize for their exploration. As society expands in the knowledge about sex through the growth of technology, the practice of sex is now integrated as a topic of conversation (Price, Pound, & Scott, 2014). Yet, this public acceptance of sex has caused speculation which can lead an individual to be promiscuous (Markey & Markey, 2007). This paper will examine the factors that contribute to the gender differences of sexual behavior with an emphasis on promiscuity.

Sexual scripts specify with whom people have sex, when and where they should have sex, what they should do sexually, and why they should do sexual things (Laumann et al., 1994). Over the past hundred years, there have been three distinct scripts guiding young men and women’s intimate lives, each emerging during a period of transition. The first script occurred during the calling era of the first decade of the twentieth century. This would involve young men “calling” on young women at their homes, with the intent to spend time with her and her family, especially her mother. Part I of the dating era emerged shortly after. The young people wanted to go out on dates away from the watchful eye of their parents. There were a few caveats that existed, however. Both men and women refused to date a person who did not “rank”. As a result, people went to great lengths to rate high on the dating scale. The final script occurred during part II of the dating era during the mid-twentieth century. This script involved “going steady.” Men and women felt comfortable in their relationships

In today’s society, the social structure has changed drastically compared to the previous generations. The social restriction has been loosened for quite a bit; for example, the women in the 60s and 70s are supposed to learn how to become a house wife and get married at a young age. Women in the modern generations are given complete freedom the decide on when to get marriage and start a family. Also, society’s focus had shifted from group focus to more self reliance; the modern generation had shown to have a greater self-esteem and sense of individuality. With all these great changes, many observers have been alarmed by a negative pattern - the new generation that has been fed with the idea of self-focus since birth had become self-absorbed and materialistic. Jean Twenge, a psychologist and professor at San Diego State University, had published a book named “Generation Me: Why Today’s young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled-and More Miserable than Ever Before (2006)” to critique how the self-absorbed society has shaped the new generation. In the book, she argues that this self-focus is detrimental for both the society and the individual. Another psychologist Leslie Bell, had published a book named “Hard to Get: Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom”; she observed that the women in this new generation with complete sexual freedom have a hard time finding their own identities because they must meet so many societal expectations that

Sexuality begins to shift from curiosity in childhood to experimentation in young adulthood. Masturbation becomes a common activity for the majority of males while only 43% of females do it (Strong, Yarber, Sayad, & DeVault, 2013, p. 172). Adolescents start to undergo puberty, which causes their bodies to grow and change quickly. During this time teenagers are influenced greatly by their peers and the media. Adolescents are easily swayed by the information given to them by their peers and highly sexualized media. Teenage pregnancy is a nationwide problem for the United States (Strong et at., 2013, p. 180). However, teenage pregnancy rates are declining because sexual education delays adolescents from having sex. Sexual intercourse cannot be completely stopped, but sexual education can help prevent STIs and unintended pregnancies from happening. Young adults begin to practice safe sex and make intimate commitments to others when exploring their sexuality (Strong et at., 2013, p. 189). Homosexuals tend to stop hiding or faking their sexual orientation because young adults are more accepting and tolerant of different sexual orientations (Strong et at., 2013, p. 196). When single, young adults gain more sexual experience, but with it comes the risk of pregnancies, abortions, separations, and single parent families. Being single as a young adult makes it harder to find a relationship later on and outside of college (Strong et at., 2013, p. 200). Young adults start to live