Paradox Of Parenting

The book Do Parents Matter? written by Judith Rich Harris discuss the topic of nature versus nurture when raising a child. Her books discuss how parents do not influence the child’s personality and how there are many different ways a child personality is created.

Bowlby’s attachment theory, as well as Erikson’s psychosocial theory, indicates that a child’s overall development is dependent on the care that they receive from their caregiver, more specifically their mother. Meeting the needs of the child and providing a

Much research has been done on the influence of a mother on a child’s well-being and development (Pougnet, Serbin, Stack, & Schwartzman, 2011). However, research has shown that an engaged and loving father can contribute greatly to a child’s cognitive, social, and psychological development (Bronte-Tinkew, Carrano, Horowitz, & Kinukawa, 2008; Duursma, Pan, & Raikes, 2008; Pancsofar & Vernon-Feagans, 2010; Wilson & Prior, 2010).

Over the course of an individual’s life span, one is seen forming relationships with several people in whom they find their presence an important aspect to their life. However, among these relationships, parent-child relationships are the most valuable, but also very complex. These relationships are built from a foundation of interaction starting from the birth of the child to their adulthood. Unfortunately, if this involvement is not present within a child’s life, it can ultimately cause them to feel neglected causing outrageous conflicts, behavior issues and emotional disputes. Parental involvement within a child’s life allows them to gain a sense of security ultimately increasing new learning of the child

Mahrer, N., Winslow, E., Wolchik, S., Tein, J.-Y., & Sandler, I. (2014). Effects of a Preventive Parenting Intervention for Divorced Families on the Intergenerational Transmission of Parenting Attitudes in Young Adult Offspring. Children Development , 2091 - 2105.

Grown children can benefit significantly from parental help. Young adults who received financial, every day and emotional support from their parents have reported clearer life goals and more satisfaction than young adults who received less parental support (Fingerman & Furstenburg , 2012). This closeness to parents, signals an overall change in the cultural climate of what relationships take place in people’s lives today versus in generations past. This change is made true by, delays in marriage, more Americans choosing to remain single, and high divorce rates, a tie to a parent may be the most important bond in a young adult’s life (Fingerman & Furstenburg , 2012). However the negative side to this can also lead to adult children feeling stifled and there even older parents sometimes feeling as though the children will never grow up. Research shows that parents and grown children alike reported awkwardness, viewing intense parental support in adulthood as a sign of harmful over-involvement. Parents reported less gratification about their own lives if they believed their children were too dependent (Fingerman & Furstenburg , 2012). So although help is great, it is the idea that this help can in turn cause more good than harm that is the issue. With the economy not yet having fully come back full swing and an ever changing definition of marriage coupled with

Additionally, the mothers of the insecure children were “less warm and supportive” and “less stimulating of cognitive development than

Second, the feelings that are described depict the feelings of parents in early parenthood. Addressing the effects of parenting on later-life happiness would have strengthened Rollin’s arguments” (qtd. Hopkins par 8).

Postpartum depression is the most common psychological complexity that occurs after childbirth (Bakhshizadeh, 2013). This form of depression has been reported to be as high as 20% (Asltoghiria, 2012). The mother will begin to experience postpartum depression between the birth of the infant and 6 to 8 weeks later (Bhati, 2015). Depending on the person, the typical length of postpartum depression ranges anywhere from two weeks to two years in length (Posmontier, 2010). It is thought that postpartum depression affects mothers of multiples at a greater incidence than mothers whom birth just one child, and the chance increases with the number of children in a multiple birth. Evidence shows that the older the mother’s age at the time of birth, shows there is no notable increase in the risk of being diagnosed with postpartum depression. Another factor that is thought to have an influence on the diagnosis of postpartum depression is income within the household. A study shows that as income goes down, the risk of having

Most mothers and fathers love their kids with all their heart. As a child begins to age, parents begin to influence their kids and will mold them as they mature. However, parents without much care for their kids will leave a long-term effect on their children and in this study, the main impact is the father.

The over involvement of parents can make the child develop psychological issues. They are shown to have a higher risk of depression, anxiety, lack self-confidence, and have low self-esteem (“Helicopter Parents” Stir Up Anxiety, Depression). It is shown that no matter what parenting technique is being used, every parents goal is to build their child’s self-esteem (Rutherford). Sadly, helicopter parenting does the exact opposite. Equally important, the persons lack of self- confidence comes from the over involvement of their parents in his/her childhood activities and academics. They never experienced failure or loss because the parents were always there to step in, so they never achieved anything to build their confidence (“Helicopter Parents” Stir Up Anxiety, Depression). It is common for a child with helicopter parents to develop depression when moving from their home to

I view children as small individuals who need guidance, love, nurture, praise, and care. That’s why I aspire to help my children in every way I can. Without these things children are set up for failure. They will not be set up on a path to success if they are abandoned, and left to fend for themselves. At a very early age in life a child is able to form an attachment with his or her mother. I find it beneficial for a child to obtain a secure attachment that is why my philosophy on parenting is the way it is. I view children as active learners who want to gain knowledge. This is why parents need to be their lifelong teacher and coach. Children come out of the womb as a blank slate and it’s the parents job to help the child learn right from wrong, become independent, and to live a happy successful

When children see their parents involved in a meaningful way, they may benefit from the confidence and self-esteem that comes with feeling secure in their parents’ commitment to their well-being (Col. State).

A mother who struggles with depression post-partum is likely to expose her baby to more harmful effects. Gerhardt (2015) states that the baby of a depressed mother can find it difficult to cope with or get over stress, or they may be more fearful (p. 21). These babies also may respond to others with depression themselves, as their mother may be neglectful in their care (Gerhardt, 2015, p. 36). One of the reasons for this is because of their cortisol levels, which can fluctuate situationally. However, in infants this can affect their development (Gerhardt, 2015, p. 83) as well as their immune system (Gerhardt, 2015, p. 118), and is evidence that a mother with depression can have a significant impact on her child well beyond when the depression occurs. Additionally, Gerhardt (2015) notes that, “When they grow up, these babies of depressed mothers are highly at risk of succumbing to depression themselves.” (p.

Parent–child interaction is linked to a number of child outcomes, including levels of self–confidence and self–esteem, the quality of their close relationship and their emotional well–being (Parke and Buriel, 1998). One of the most difficult job of a person will ever have s being a parents. It plays an integral role in the development of a child and can influence child outcomes. Parenting styles have a great impact on a child’s attitude.