Parents Keep Child 's Gender Secret By Jayme Poisson

​​Gender is defined as whatever behaviors and attitudes a group considers proper for its males and females. Unlike sex, gender is something that we learn from the day we are born. “Young children begin to acquire gender role stereotypes at about the same time they develop gender identity and by the age of 3 or 4 most children” (Amanda Youmans). Peers, community, media, religion and our upbringing all play a role in the understanding of our culture and what is considered acceptable for males and females. When the sex of a child is revealed, they are automatically placed into a gender specific role with certain expectations. There are things in this world such as colors, toys, media depiction and taught behaviors that play into these gender roles.

Gender coding is not a natural or biological characteristic. People are born with different physical and biological characteristics, but make sense of their gender roles through cultural influences. “Stereotypes are amazingly powerful, and we may not realize the degree to which our thoughts, beliefs, and actions are shaped by them” (Silverman, Rader, 2010). Boys and girls are labeled as masculine or feminine, which is considered the “norm” for society. Children are not born masculine or feminine, they learn these roles from parents, peers, media, and even religion. Concepts of gender identity are sometimes placed on children even before their birth, such as with the selection of paint colors for the nursery.” Children begin to form concepts of gender beginning around the age of 2, and most children know if they are a boy or girl by age of 3” (Martin & Ruble, 2004). From an early age, children are encouraged to identify with gender coding. Gender is formed at birth, but self-identification as being male or female is imbedded into their minds by parents and society. A child learns to understand their gender role and their identity by what is taught and expressed to them by others. Yet as a child grows, gender coding can cause cultural confusion, and insecurity issues throughout the course of their life.

Environmentally, a child’s experiences impact gender identity. Depending on family values or morals, a child could be confused by their gender. When a baby is born, there is much control on colors (if boy or girl) and ideas of the parents on how they would want to raise their daughter or son. For an example, a father would treat his son in a rough or unemotional way, while a girl would be protected and nurtured. Known as traditional roles, a boy doesn’t cry or play with dolls, but he can roll

As humans we nurture newborns and associate them with their gender immediately. Whether this be the colors concerning their gender before they are even born, their clothing as a baby, even the toys we supply them with as children, humans gravitate naturally to associate certain characteristics with gender. Unknowingly, parents find themselves setting their

The role of gender roles/stereotypes in our society has greatly diminished. Only those who cling to the past and who benefit from the oppression of one group believe it is still an important factor in our society. These stereotypes are harmful and create a rift between two groups of people from an early age. Children should grow up without the label a gender chosen for them and away from the toxicity of gender stereotypes and conformities in toys and activities. When kids are treated differently from a young age they grow up under the impression that they are drastically unalike and that one group shouldn’t be like the other.

First, many flaws can be seen in stereotyping genders. Most people don't actually fit into these labels, and if they do, the opposite gender does as well. Conversely, some people may argue that because of a parent's views or beliefs, children may be brought up to fit into these stereotypes. Even if this may be true in some circumstances, the people that do not fit into these categories must be taken into consideration.

are still worried about putting a boy in their group and this hinder the growth of both genders.

Tara Culp-Ressler claims that raising children to adhere to strict gender roles is harmful to their health. In her article, she refers to a three month long study that was conducted on a group of young teenagers. The study observed their behaviors based on gender and the findings concluded that both genders exhibited potentially harmful behavior patterns; a large number of the boys in this experiment were violent with one another in an attempt to demonstrate their masculinity and they would often bury their emotional struggles. The girls felt pressure to live up to standards that had been set for them to be feminine, some even taking to restricting calories to stay thin because “real women are skinny.” Adding onto the stress already felt by adolescence, the teenagers in this study denied themselves of simple rights and pleasures; the girls didn’t want to participate in sports they liked because they were afraid of looking unattractive, and the boys refused to acknowledge most emotions if not seen as “manly,” also turning down any psychological help or a shoulder to lean on. Once the study ended, the teenagers were mostly on the same page when some said that they thought sticking to these gender roles was what they were supposed to do, even if they weren’t happy about it.

If we start discussing the various gender identities at an early age in schools, perhaps it will help to resolve the isolation that these individuals feel. It will not change everyone’s views, but we can start the discussion early on in hopes that we can have a better understanding and become more compassionate. After all, we don’t choose to be who we are, that is decided while we are still in our mother’s womb. We should all be free to live our lives the way that we want

Ariel Levy, a staff writer at the New Yorker, also known as “feminism’s newest and most provocative voice,” wrote Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture. In the reading, Levy describes FCPs as well-educated women in high positions and power, who in the daily take part in a culture of raunch which is ruled by men. FCPs go against gender norms, because they have to accept and refuse certain stereotypes. It’s hard facing society when you’re not acting your gender. Jayme Poisson, a staff writer for the Toronto Star, wrote the article “Parents Keep Child’s Gender Secret”. According to Poisson, the parents of Storm are trying to fight the influence of gender norms for all their children, so that the children will have a chance

Although, most of the people in the United States that undergo gender selection, choose girls, a large amount of people who come from Asian or Caucasian descent, choose boys. America is one of the few countries that actually allow gender selection; Canada, the UK, and Australia are just some of the few that have banned it. When people choose a gender, they expect a certain stereotypical role to follow. This reinforces constricting and false gender roles. Girls do not always dress in pink and boys do not always like baseball and trucks. “Do we really want to allow parents to thrall to gender stereotypes to engineer their children for the sole purpose of meeting ephemeral and superficial cultural norms?” (Dollar). If someone goes through so much money and effort to choose a child of a certain gender, they are supporting stereotypes that are damaging to both girls and boys. What happens when you get a girl who does not do all the girly things you were hoping? Or your boy does not like to play sports or get dirty? You can not give them

Essentially, to raise a kid "gender neutral" means increasing the child in refusal of their gender. This means telling a young young man "you are not a boy", or telling a young girl "you will be a boy, but that is certainly completely irrelevant to whatever in your life, or perhaps who you are". This is a sort of deception and dishonesty. To put it briefly, it is definitely a

Let me give you a scenario; It’s 3:00am. Rushing down the halls of a hospital you are on your way to support a person who is doing one of the most beautiful and complex things in life. Giving birth. You are the doctor in the room. Cutting the umbilical cord you hand the mother her child. She smiles up at you with tear rimmed eyes and you wrap the child up in a blanket and hold out to her a beautiful baby _____. Boy or girl? It doesn’t really matter which you say so long as you say one or the other, right? Within a few moments after birth and a quick scan between the legs of the child will enable you to develop a gender label for the child that they will carry for the rest of their life relevant to their sex.

There is also the surprise of finding out the gender at time of birth. Not only are the parents delighted in the surprise at the moment of birth, but they’re just plain grateful that they’ve been blessed with a healthy child. By being able to determine gender, according to Freeman, we’re cheapening this, and making childbirth into a mere consumer choice. In the end, children are a gift, a gift of nature.

I firmly believe that it is the parent’s responsibility to be the primary educator and caregiver to a child. As such, parents ought to know what is taught in school regarding gender identity, and be able to opt their children out of classes with which they disagree with based on their views; whether they be scientific, religious, or based on personal experience.