Peer Edit Worksheet

535 Words2 Pages
Peer Edit Worksheet Title: Watch out for the other person on the other side of the computer screen ( identity theft can happen) Author: Zaida Introduction: The paper begins by talking about how people use the internet in different ways. The introduction aims at trying to explain that becoming an identity theft victim can happen to anyone. However, it does not successfully get the point across. The thesis of the paper needs to be clearer and not in the form of a question. How about: There are precautions an individual can take to reduce the likelihood of becoming a victim of identity theft such as "¦ ? Proposal: The author proposes anyone can become a victim of identity theft, but does not clearly identify the problem. The author needs to be more specific and not be so informal in writing. Avoid using first person I, you, me, us. Writing in third person sounds more professional and is more academically accepted. Argument: The author tries to persuade the reader using logical arguments and by referencing other sources, however, because the writer tries to insert herself into the paper and make it more personal, she does not appear to be credible. Instead of saying "I read this article on this website," the author should write something like: "According to The New York Times, "¦." Counterargument: None Development: Length of paper is long enough to present an effective argument, however, the writer needs to work on grammar, organization, and formatting. Needs work on
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