Perceived Parental Rejection and Psychological Adjustment and Gender Differences of Adults' Perception on Their Parents' Rejection

It is during this time a father needs to be present to father, shape and mold his children (Jones, Kramer, Kim A., Teresa L., Armitage, Tracey, Williams, Keith, as cited in Wallerstein, 1980, 1987). On their 10 year follow up, Wallerstein and Kelley found that regardless of the time spent with a father or not, the father continued to be a significant presence psychologically to adolescents, particularly to boys (Jones et al., as cited in Wallerstein, Kelley, 1974). On Kelley and Wallerstein’s 25 year follow up of their now adult participants in their longitudinal study, they have found that the effects of fatherlessness and divorce during their adolescents were long lasting. The participants in the study by Wallerstein et al. (2000) noted that “The impact of divorce hits them most cruelly as they go in search of love, sexual intimacy, and commitment” (p. 299). These same participants also stated in an interview that they had anxiety issues about relationships and intimacy problems into adulthood (Jones et al., as cited in Wallerstein et al., 2000). Wallerstein et al. (2000) participants of the research also stated that they had resentment towards their parents, particularly the fathers who were seen “selfish and faithless” (p. 300).

Many families today suffer from a separation between the parental figures. The reason for the separation hardly matters. However, the separation will always have an effect on the children of the family. Personally, I went through a family separation when my parents decided to separate and I found that what mostly affected my younger sibling and I was not the absence of my father, but the instability that came with his absence. The argument, “Are Fathers Necessary for a Child’s Well-Being?” can be examined more closely today with the rise in family separations. With the evidence I have collected, and my own personal experiences, I stand for the side that disagrees that fathers are necessary for a child’s well-being. Some of the issues that are encompassed by this larger issue need to be considered as well. For example: the difference between family structure and family stability, can certain family structures affect some children but not others, is one sex naturally better at parenting than the other, are there essential characteristics of fathering and mothering, and is having a parent of each sex necessary.

Much research has been done on the influence of a mother on a child’s well-being and development (Pougnet, Serbin, Stack, & Schwartzman, 2011). However, research has shown that an engaged and loving father can contribute greatly to a child’s cognitive, social, and psychological development (Bronte-Tinkew, Carrano, Horowitz, & Kinukawa, 2008; Duursma, Pan, & Raikes, 2008; Pancsofar & Vernon-Feagans, 2010; Wilson & Prior, 2010).

Some scholars have argued the notion that fathers are important contributors to their children and adolescents’ psychosocial development (Mandara, Murray, & Joyner, 2005). According to Allgood, Beckert, and Peterson (2012), researchers are beginning to understand the importance of examining children’s perspectives and the relationships and levels of involvement children have with their fathers.

Per Psychology Today, children who have an involved father from birth tend to be more emotionally secure, confident, better educational outcomes and

Falicov, C.J., & Brudner-White, L. (1983). The shifting family triangle: The issue of cultural and

This assessment included the father engagement through telling stories, singing, reading, and other measurable indicators. The research also looked into the parent perception of the child, and the co-parenting relationship. Finally, the researchers controlled for variables, to mitigate suspicious engagement among the father engagement, mother-child attachment, and co-parenting. After controlling for disqualifying factors the researchers were left with a sample that was slightly skewed due to a larger than normal proportion of married/cohabitating and minority families. It is unclear what the impact to the overrepresentation of some groups may have had on the study. The methodology of surveying only mothers does leave room for criticism of implicit bias.

They also were exposed to role-reversing experiences from their mothers during childhood. The participants said they faced difficulty with their relationships with others. This was demonstrated by Participant #6, “I rather just go with somebody just for one time instead of having a relationship”. They find hardships with interpersonal relationships, and difficulty forming healthy intimate relationships. Prolonged parental separation and feelings of neglect during childhood contribute to the patients' later fears of abandonment. They feel misunderstood, an outcast, different and disconnected from their

Most mothers and fathers love their kids with all their heart. As a child begins to age, parents begin to influence their kids and will mold them as they mature. However, parents without much care for their kids will leave a long-term effect on their children and in this study, the main impact is the father.

Most of the studies collected data through questionnaires they administered to their participants. Such a method leaves a lot of room for bias and general inaccuracies. Some of that is due to the fact that only the participant is reporting on the relationship, and never the other person in the relationship they are reporting on. The questionnaires were also asked at a particular point in time, thereby disabling the authors from drawing longitudinal results. The questions about parent or parental figure relationships were also asked in retrospect, making the data subject to the bias of failed recollection of the past. Additionally, some of the population samples included a very narrow and young age range, not allowing sufficient opportunity for a diversity of opinion or a significant amount of experience in romantic relationships to report on them accurately. This leads those samples to being non-representative enough so that the results cannot draw generalizations in confidence, which naturally weakens the overall quality of the studies. Lastly, the assessment of characteristics in parent-child relationship is very limited due to the inability to study all of

Maintaining close relationships with nonresidential fathers has been found in several studies to be predictive of children's well-being and adjustment to divorce (Amato & Gilbreth, 1999; Carlson, 2006; King & Sobolewski, 2006, Ganong, Coleman, Feistman, Jamison, and Markham 2012, para. 4). Many times, fathers’ relationships change with their children because of the divorce. Due to the decreased amount of contact with their children and increased stress in post-divorce parent child relationships some fathers slip away from involvement in their children’s life (Emery et al., 2005, Barth 2016). Thus, gaining an understanding of how a father’s experience of his divorce (e.g. custodial situation, gatekeeping behaviors, stage of the healing process) influences his readiness to engage in positive co-parenting behaviors and stay involved in his children’s lives is

Piorkowski (2008) proposes that the fear of rejection is the most prevalent and underlying of all fears and risks of intimacy. Rejection can look different; it can be temporary withdrawal or permanent such as desertion. It can take the form of brushing people off, being critical, contradictory, or false accusation of malevolent intentions; it can be aimed at appearance and characteristics (e.g. speech mannerisms and personality) family/ethnicity, background, ideas, and feelings, as well as dreams, hopes, and aspirations. In short, rejection can take an array of forms, it can be intermittent or continuous, and its severity can range from insignificant to imposing (Piorkowski). When rejection is expressed by significant others it is particularly damaging, Piorkowski states, “ Because the desire to be liked, attended to, and approved of is basic to human nature, a disapproving response is invalidating and threatening to self-worth…for women especially” (p.69).

Rejection can be described as the feeling of crushing weight on your chest. It is an emotion that can be very difficult to recover from, and one may experience rejection from one's family of origin, a friend, or a romantic partner. Rejection might be experienced on a large scale or in small ways in everyday life. While rejection is typically a part of life, some types of rejection may be more difficult to cope with than others. (Rejection, 2015) The rejection of a child has the most detrimental effects, simply because they grow up their whole life with the feeling of being unwanted. We can relive and re-experience social pain more vividly than we can physical pain, hence why it’s so much worse for a child. A memory of an accident or fall alone

Rejections often cause sever psychological affects. The severity of psychological damage might be based on the emotional health of a human being. Rejection can cause serious disturbances in thinking ability, increases anger and frustration, and reduces self-esteem and confidence. Most of the rejection that most of us face are mild and the damages to mind and will heal with the time. However, if rejections are continues and not treated even mild rejections can cause serious psychological impact on mental health(5). Researchers have also proved that rejection reduces IQ level and effects work,

When environmental or interpersonal cues are interpreted as rejection, the high rejection sensitivity individual actually experiences feelings of rejection, which are likely to provoke an affective or behavioural overreaction such as aggressive behaviour, depression, or socially inappropriate efforts to prevent, or in some way obviate the rejection (Ayduk & Mendoza-Denton, 2000). These efforts, in turn, often provoke rejection from the target of the behaviour, and so, the anxiety becomes a reality for the rejection sensitive person. Additional experiences of rejection serve to prolong the expectations of rejection, thus maintaining the rejection sensitive dynamic (Mitchell, Downey, Peake, & Rodriguez,