Personal Essay: How To Start A Car

Crying is something that everyone here does; it is a normal part of everybody’s life. However, many cultures believed that when a male cries, his tears were a sign of manliness. In the article “How boys become a men” Jon Katz gives some examples to explain why many man pressured to be tough, to act strong, and they would not allow to show their emotions, pain and fear. This article focuses on the lesson that boys learn from their young ages which effects their lives.

We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity becomes this hard, small cage, and we put boys inside the cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear. We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves because they have to be, in Nigeria speak, ‘hard man’ (Adichie).

Society faces an issue that is not usually addressed because it is seen as the norm in today’s American culture. It is the crisis of masculinity. The notion of how men should be portrayed is not usually identified as a problem; today’s society views men’s apathetic and exasperated exterior as the orthodox behavior of everyday life. Boys at a young age are taught by the popular culture that they need to be a “real man” - strong physically and emotionally. The mask many men put up is based on the extreme idea of masculinity that emphasizes toughness, physical strength and gaining the respect of others through violence or the explicit threat of it. This front is put up by men because they do not want to stray from what is accepted, for men who

Historically, men have held every position of power and status in known societies, civilized or otherwise. Men have been the fore-runners, the providers and the respected warriors of every age since the dawn of recorded time. These cultures did not confuse their identities or cultural roles in regards to gender; men were expected to win fame and fortune for themselves and their families, tribes or clans while women were expected to support their men in domesticity and child-rearing. Men knew what was expected of them since birth as they were often surrounded by masculine role-models in their own societies. However, modern masculinity has become something else entirely. Too much has been written about these time periods to rehash any of the

The movie surveyed a wide array of the troubles faced by boys and men as they try to navigate the realm of masculinity. A common theme was the command “be a man” and the cultural baggage that comes with living up to that ideal. To “be a man” means to not cry, to not be sensitive, to not let people mess with you, to respond with violence, to be angry, to drink, to womanize.

From an early age, our society begins to construct gender identities. Males are pressed to learn “suitable” gender roles in accordance to the masculine expectations our society has created. This means from a very early age boys are taught what it means to be a man. Porter’s way to explain masculine socialization is through what is known as the “man box.” Inside the box is a list of socially valued expectations that compose what manhood is about. The box includes expectations/guidelines such as, “don’t cry or openly express emotions (with the exception of anger), do not show weakness or fear, demonstrate power control especially over women (aggression dominance), be a protector, do not be “like a woman,” be heterosexual, do not be “like a gay man,” be tough, athletic, and strong, do not need help, and view women as property/objects.” This idea of manhood is instilled in young boys head and continues to stay with them for the rest of their lives. A fear

I came to a halt. My hands were bloodied and bruised. I finally let out the tears, and it wasn’t because of the pain I inflicted on my hands. It was realisation of losing my friend. Maybe we would have been more than that, even- if he was alive. I heaved, I whimpered, I couldn’t breathe. I yelled in agony, my fists didn’t hurt like how my heart

In “Before Manliness Lost Its Virtue” (2017), David Brooks (a New York Times Op-Ed columnist) claims that we are living in a “crisis of masculinity” (15). David Brooks backs up his claim by comparing and contrasting manliness of the men in the White House (the “”I don’t care what you think” manliness” [2] and the “the look-at-me-I-can-curse manliness”[2] ) to men in ancient Greece (“real men defended or served their city”[6] the “The manly man… risks death and criticism.”[8] and “They are constantly picking fights”[9].) to the ideal man (“The magnanimous leader… uses his traits… to create a just political order.”[11]).

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy” (SOURCE). Manhood and being a “real man” is defined in many different ways depending on the person. However, most of these things that men are defined by can be done by any gender and there are people that make it their work to prove that. The social construct of manhood has overall negative consequences on society; however, not all men uphold this construct, and can prove to be advocates of change.

Manhood is being able to recognize you’re a man first, possessing all the characteristics of masculinity. This research

Men that carry out the “machismo way of life” feel that they have to constantly prove their manhood to the world. This is generally achieved

Men face immense pressure to fill the masculine role they are supposed to play. As a child growing up, boys on the playground would be afraid to make a bad throw, shot, etc. while playing otherwise they’d risk being told they were “like a girl”. And if a boy fell on the playground and started to tear up, he would be told to “Shake it off” and “Be a man” by his classmates and teachers.

As a boy grows into a man he faces the ever-raising mountain of masculinity. In regards to the occurrence, he finally reaches maturity he has no choice but in order to fight to retain his measly sense of manhood. He is not allowed to act feminine or else he’s not man enough, he can’t show his emotions, he has to hide that he can do anything a woman can do sans give birth. Boys grow up being told they are not allowed to cry and that they are supposed to be tough, that they are not able to be like girls and in the event that they are then they are not real boys. This concept is known as toxic masculinity, some people are not aware that men are being forced to suppress their emotions or even that toxic masculinity should be a topic that is

Masculinity is a term that is often associated with strength, power, control, and dominance in men. However, many texts support the claim that masculinity can be perceived as “socially constructed” and available for systematic discrepancy, similar to femininity. For example, in Michael Kimmel’s “Men, Masculinity, and the Rape Culture,” Kimmel identifies the “traditional masculinity” in which men exclusively can experience the “right to manhood” and the “dare and aggression” that is rightfully theirs (Kimmel, 142).

Masculinity, a seemingly simple concept. Yet, when examined more closely, it is clear that masculinity is constantly changing in its definition as well as in its most basic essence. Throughout the years, one can see this evolution firsthand by looking back at the men who have been portrayed in popular media in the United States of America. From the suave Don Draper types of the 1950s to the more casual, educated, and easygoing men- with perfectly chiseled abs, of course- that are portrayed in media today, the difference is clear. This drastic, yet unsurprising, shift in ideals, as well as the exponential increase of media consumed every day, has led to a change in how “masculinity” is perceived, as well as how it is enforced by society in the modern day. Alarmingly, this trend has led to the birth of so-called “toxic masculinity”, a bastardization of the original ideas behind masculinity which has created an enormous, detrimental effect on society as a whole. As defined in the article The Difference Between Toxic Masculinity and Being a Man, toxic masculinity is “manhood as defined by violence, sex, status, and aggression. It’s the cultural ideal of manliness, where strength is everything… where sex and brutality are yardsticks by which men are measured,” (O’Malley) This is a clearly displayed truth, and it’s astounding to see how even from a young age boys are taught not to show emotions other than anger, conditioned to believe that being “like a girl” is the worst possible