Personal Narrative: Changing My Life With Mental Illness

I’ve always been passionate about understanding others; stepping into their shoes and seeing, thinking, and appreciating the lives they live. I think it is important to take that extra step and see things from a different point of view. It is the only way to achieve a true understanding. I believe in this philosophy so much so, that it’s one of the main reasons I have this blog; to give others a glimpse of a life with mental illness. I’ve been in treatment for 2 months and 26 days and I think it’s time for another peek into my brain.

Anyone with a mental illness knows that recovery is not a straight line. Thoughts don’t regain their rationality the second someone decides to become medication compliant, when an anorexic takes a bite of food, or even the day a depressed person decides to walk outside and see beyond their dreary perception of reality. I always wanted to get better, to be able to eat a slice of pizza without demolishing the box and punishing my throat, or to be able to not worry that the carnal impulses of mania would throw me out of the driver’s seat. However, I didn’t want to take the steps to seek help in time, then in the second semester of my sophomore year, I gave up. This led to me

The depression is overwhelming. I cry uncontrollably. At its worst, I cannot move. Gravity seems to have added weight tenfold. I wake up in my bed, struggling to get out. I am unable to. Breathing hurts. I try to cry out for help, but I cannot move my mouth to form the words in my disgusted mind. I am trapped in my own head. I am trapped in my own body, a body that is entirely numb.

On days I was unable to pull myself out of bed, I would read Furiously Happy while under my covers, staring at the ceiling and dealing with the many voices that kept clawing and breaking each layer down that built a fortress of self-doubt and underwater volcanos of self-loathing. Many people do not understand these feelings that blossomed inside, and therefore bring their own selective perspectives about mental illness devaluing my human in brain experiences. Explaining to them proved to be harder.

It’s a struggle to get out of bed sometimes, I often just sit there struggling to comprehend the sequence of events which have taken place over the past year. I mean, I’m used to this now, its normal to me, but the fact that this has happened and that I am now ‘disabled’ as people would put it is hard to get my head around. And every time I look down I’m reminded of the pain and the struggle I faced, it’s a physical scar which links me to my grueling past, a physical and emotional journey.

I am Simone Alexander. I have severe schizophrenia, but I take my medications regularly. I have been through a lot. Even in my condition, I still try to help out my community during the rough time I have been through. I care a lot about Hollywood, California, because I was raised here. I am such a high spirited, generous, and kind woman. I have been going through a 5 year hardship relationship with my on and off again boyfriend Lucas also known as Paw-Paw. Last night was horrific. The unthinkable was spoken. I was traumatized.

Depression is a growing problem in today’s modern society. In the United States sixteen million adults currently suffer from clinical depression. This leads to over thirty thousand suicides, and five hundred thousand suicide attempts amongst Americans every year. Even people in a “perfect” world can not escape this reality. Bernard from Brave New World suffers bouts of depression often. Depression is a growing issue that is not always recognized for its severity, nor treated with the attention it requires, which only results in the worsening of the issue. Despite the lack of attention, depression is one of the nation’s leading causes of disability. It is an easily treatable mental health disorder, and with rising general knowledge and awareness

Over forty million Americans suffer from a mental health condition; and, unfortunately, fifty six percent do not receive any treatment at all. “Mental illnesses are health conditions involving changes in thinking, emotion and behavior”(Psychiatry.org). People live with their conditions even though their quality of life and personal relationships may be negatively affected. When one lives in a state of denial about having a mental illness, they are cheating themselves out of living life to their fullest potential and will achieve true freedom only when they face the illness head on and seek recovery.

No one considered that Schizophrenia was the ailment that tormented my brother. We assumed it was just stress and anxiety that stole his nights, his sanity, and his joy. We all believed that it was just a phase my happy, go-lucky, comic brother would get over. After all, doesn't everybody go through these rough patches of their life, and like a phoenix tried through a fire, rise triumphantly? That was my hope for my brother. But as the days progressed, fatigue mixed with delusions consumed my brother’s thoughts and disrupted his ability to function. As a sister, I felt helpless watching my big brother, my hero, and my confidant going through the greatest battle of his life - mental illness. Episodes and psychiatric breakdowns were constant,

Working with substance abuse clients fits with my career goal as I am pursuing the degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. The reason for entering the counseling field was/is a genuine desire to help people who are going through difficult time in their lives and to show them there is a way out and there is a life that is worth of living. Personally, I have not experienced or have had people who abused substances, (overly) however, from the grief experience to a caregiver role intrigued me to pursue mental health as a whole. It is clear that mental health and substance abuse can have a powerful effect on one health, his/her family, and community. Having this in my mind, is nothing could be more rewarding than knowing that I could save

Living with depression is, a mental illness, is equivalent to wrestling your will to live each day. I struggled gravely through my childhood especially as an adolescent with feeling of despair, hopelessness while entertaining the thoughts of suicide. I have battled with this illness for years and it wasn’t until I was an adult in my twenties did I seek help and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and placed on Lexapro. After being diagnosed, for years, I secretly struggles and “attempted” to be normal. However, my attempts proved futile as the weight of my affliction would often consume my energy, thoughts and emotions.

Mental health disorders can affect anyone regardless of how much we make, what we do for work, or where we live. It is also very difficult for most people to be able to afford to pay for mental health services. In a recent article in the newspaper it mentioned how people are having a hard time to afford rents in this area. When it comes down to be able to pay your rent, paying for mental health therapy, or mental health prescriptions, rent will win every time. I work full time and I looked into how much it would cost for ongoing mental health treatment if it were necessary, and the cost is astounding, and that’s with insurance. There are regular visits with Primary Care Physicians that are required to monitor your progress which has a

My struggle with mental illness began in 7th grade. I began having obsessions I knew were abnormal for any normal person, but I couldn’t stop them. My thoughts were an unstoppable train running through everything else. School took a backseat to just trying to be normal. I silently struggled with my thoughts for four years. I tried my hardest not to let on that I wasn’t normal, at risk of people thinking I was crazy. But the summer before my junior year,

Reading your post confirms my decision to enter into Mental Health Counseling was a good choice. Your desire to work with individuals from diverse backgrounds and using a wide range of techniques was what drew me to this specialization as well. It is interesting to note how you were considering very specific programs before settling on mental health counseling. I am also inspired by your initial consideration of entering into addiction counseling to assist individuals like your brother. My family has also inspired me to enter into counseling as well. They are the reason why I have been as successful as I have been in the past, and they are also the reason why I have sought out counseling for my own betterment.

My role models have always been nurses. When in hospital wards visiting family members or even on hospital placement, where I have completed over 500 hours, my attention has always been on the nurses, admiring their amazing work ethic and their ability to change someone’s life for the better, this is when I decided that I belonged in this profession. I am passionate about mental health as I have personal experience of witnessing and overcoming these issues. To this day, many still feel too uncomfortable to talk about it and I want to change that. For a long time, I was often in denial about my own struggles with mental health problems and have refused help because I could not accept my diagnosis. I convinced myself that ‘others had it worse’; this mind-set eventually made my condition deteriorate without me realising. As a result, I now advocate that my friends discuss it just like a physical ailment so that their struggles feel as valid as a broken leg or an infected wound; it is a wound in their mind.