Personal Narrative: Childhood Schizophrenia

The True Life episode, I have Schizophrenia, documented the struggles of three adults who suffer from Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective disorder. This paper will focus around Josh and whether he actually has Schizophrenia.

I’ve always been passionate about understanding others; stepping into their shoes and seeing, thinking, and appreciating the lives they live. I think it is important to take that extra step and see things from a different point of view. It is the only way to achieve a true understanding. I believe in this philosophy so much so, that it’s one of the main reasons I have this blog; to give others a glimpse of a life with mental illness. I’ve been in treatment for 2 months and 26 days and I think it’s time for another peek into my brain.

Paul begins to make frequent visits to the university library in an attempt to discover more about Keller's past. Incidentally, he discovers a couple having sex on the floor and decides to watch on. In his mind, this makes Paul thing about having sex himself. And in turn having sex with his first crush at his new school Megan Murray whom he admits to the sexual dreams he has had about her and despite her appreciation, she rejects him. After returning back to school Paul meets new student Rosie Zollo, who falls for Paul however he initially finds her annoying. After the advent of Pauls newfound sexual maturity, Paul will fall for Rosie. "Each day my eyes seemed to be opened just a little wider, and more of that sun-drenched town of lush garden, scents, and sexuality seemed to cram itself in. Nothing I heard in that dark, humid room in the Swam had much place in my new world.." later on the couple share their first sexual experiences with each other. Megan, who Paul later has sex with, regrets it and realizes his love for Rosie. This shows Megan who is a symbol of Pauls sexual adolescence and was really only a depiction of physical attraction. Pauls maturity then blossoms when being around Rosie who he learns to love and care for her in a way that he had never cared about Megan. His love for Rosie grows so deep he then begins to sadly ignore keller and begins to miss lessons to be with

After Paul’s wife suicide, his life dramatically changes and he finds himself lost in a foreign, yet known, city. The despair drives Paul to find a shelter to comfort himself, far away from everything that could remind him of Rose, his now-deceased wife.

What had so upset me about my day with Paul? Before then nothing in my personal, academic, or volunteer experiences had shaken my single-minded commitment to medicine. Why was I so unprepared for what I saw? Was it the proximity of death, knowing Paul was terminal? No it couldn’t have been. As a young

When Paul was five-years-old, Erik and an old friend, Vincent, held Paul’s eyes opened and sprayed them with white paint. Erik chose to do this because he had thought that Paul told on him and Vincent for spray painting the walls. Although everyone else in the family knew, Paul did not find out until seven years later. “We wanted to find a way to keep you from always hating your brother” (Bloor 265). This comment was made by Paul’s dad, when Paul confronted his parents about the situation. Because of this decision Erik made, Paul lost his eyesight and his parent’s trust all in one

Lori emphasizes that Paul “has struggled in his life with bouts and depression and anxiety since his mid-twenties. “ This problem is what makes his wife to implore him to attend the therapy with Lori. Based on the description of his profile by Lori, Paul’s problem of depression and anxiety can be directly linked to his most significant problem, professional or career failure, which started during his early twenties.

It was his anger about Luis’ death that enabled Paul to make this confession. When the cops came to arrest Arthur for being linked to the death of Luis, “[Paul] stood up straight and faced them all, like [he] had seen Luis do. ‘I saw-I heard Erik Fisher tell him to do it’”(276). The guilt inside Paul over Luis’ death quickly turned into anger when Arthur’s father tried to convince the cops that Arthur was innocent. Paul gained this courage because of the presence of the many adults and officers who were around, making sure that Erik could not get revenge on Paul. The book implied that Erik was going to jail when the officer said “You keep this young man in the house-not in the neighborhood, not in the yard-in the house. I may call or come back at any time and I expect him to be here”(276). When Paul confessed, he changed his entire life, because his parents would no longer act as if Erik were the standard that Paul had to meet. This also helped Paul prove to his parents that Erik was a terrible person deep down and not destined for greatness the way his parents thought. Paul was brave for standing up to Erik in front of his family and the police. Most importantly, Paul exposed Erik for what he really was-a cold-hearted person who didn’t deserve all the attention that he received for being a great football

In the end, Paul finished the novel that Annie was dying to read; when she would finish reading the book, she would then kill Paul and then herself. The reason that they could not live together anymore is because Annie had to kill a police officer because he saw and recognized Paul while paying Annie a visit. Annie wanted to keep Paul forever, but she knew that their time was cut short because the cops will find out that she killed the first officer.

After being forced to leave his job as an usher at Carnegie Hall Paul gets a job working at Denny and Carson's office firm. He gets the money to go to New York City by taking the money he was supposed to deposit in the bank from Denny and Carson's deposit and pockets it. Paul arrives in New York and lives the luxurious life by buying fancy clothes and checking into a nice hotel. After eight days in New York his fun runs out when he discovers in the Pittsburgh papers that his father had reimbursed the firm and was coming to get him. "Paul had just come in to dress for dinner; he sank into a chair, weak to the knees, and clasped his head in his hands. It was worse than jail, even; the tepid waters of Cordelia Street were to close over him finally and forever" (Cather 11). After succeeding

on, Paul becomes incapable to deal with the death of his comrades. In addition, he is unable to have the same sensations and feeling with his family back home. He cannot express himself about the experiences and through what he went during war. On top of that Paul says that he does not see a peacfully futur and that he has memory troubles, to remember everything in the last years. However, Paul’s sensitivity makes him not being able to separate his feelings with himself entirely. In the novel there are specific moments where we observe the emotions of Paul coming up, for instance when he is with his sick mom spending some time together, but also his comrades death, Kat and Kemmerich. Another time in the novel Paul states, “Parting from my friend

Paul finally escaped the hostile world he lived in, but his money-bought romance did not last long. When he discovers that his theft has been made known in the new papers, and all the stolen money has ran out, he knew he had to go back to his real life. After a week of having the glamorized life he was longing for, Paul refused to go back to face the reality that he left behind in Pittsburgh. Paul knew he couldn’t go on forever in the City with no money in his pockets so he decided to give up on his own life. While going to get on his train that would bring him back to reality, Paul stepped out in front of it and killed himself.

Schizophrenia is a mental illness which affects millions of people throughout the world. Scientists have begun to understand more and more about the possible causes, predisposing factors, types, and possible treatments for schizophrenia. (Torrey, 1995) It is very rare for schizophrenic symptoms to appear before the age of 12 but it does occur. Recently, there has been a growing interest in childhood schizophrenia. It is less than one-sixtieth as common as the adult-onset type but the characteristics are very similar. Childhood schizophrenia also tends to be harder to treat and to have a worse prognosis than the adult-onset form. (Rapoport, 1997)

“One minute she would be really sweet and loving and all of a sudden she’d just turn. Literally it was like The Exorcist…Her eyes would change, her demeanor changed, her voice flattened out. Her imaginary friends are not imaginary at all but command hallucinations. They tell her to hurt herself or someone else,” Michael Schofield, her father told ABC in 2009.

Paul was stumped. Now that he’d finally told Sherry the truth was his ability to lie deserting him? “Uh...”