Personal Narrative: City Of Ashes By Cassandra Clare

One weekend, we had decided to clean out the house to surprise my mother. My father found papers stashed away that revealed theft charges; my mother had stolen medication when she substituted for the nurse in my elementary school. I remember my dad scouring the house for more evidence, even finding a stash of pill bottles under their mattress. She had another court date coming up that he learned about, just a few weeks before a family trip to Disney. Shortly after that hearing, my family took our last vacation as a whole, knowing that a key member would be lost to us the Monday after our return; she was going into work-release for two months. Before the end of those sixty days, my father learned that my mother had been unfaithful. Their marriage ended, and at eleven and nine, my sister and I said what we didn't realize would be goodbye to our mother for a great while. Her drug abuse continued, and months of time would pass between visits. We saw that sweet, ideal mother devolve into an addict. This loss has shaped me greatly, and it has taught me integrity, strength of character, and great love for others; without these things, my mother cost herself her family and

I have come from a well-meaning but very scarring, ambivalent and dysfunctional family. My father was a sometimes physically, but often times very emotionally abusive person. Using a large amount of fear and intimidation of him to control our family and home. My mother regularly took out her anger and frustration towards my father on me since my parent’s first major separation when I was seven years old which in conjunction with the negative impact of my parents’ off and on separations leading up to their eventual divorce I developed depression, anger and other behavioral problems as well. I suffered many years of abuse from my mother as a result of these things. I understood both my parents cared for me, even though their actions often time both demonstrated it and contradicted it which lead to much confusion in relationships and friendships outside of my family. One of if not the most scarring experiences were of my mother and the adults she surrounded herself with sympathizing her abuse towards me because of the abuse she endured by my father and

I grew up learning everything myself and my mom never really listened to me and because of that now I'm used to keeping everything to myself and she wonders why but that is not her fault. I had to survive, that’s what I call it because you either had to hide the certain special things you wanted and expect the worst out of your older brothers. There were never any words of advice from my older brothers towards me and at the moment given I was only allowed to see my father on the weekends. When my father said specific things he said is using big words, and at the moment I was too young and he was very wise as he had been in my position. My two older brothers have a different dad than my older brother and I. The time my mom was struggling in working and not receiving help from no one and had to maintain 4 male children that fought for food as it was scarce and fought for clothing even if it was too big or too small. This has made me realize that the image a

I have always been close to my family of five. My family is what made me strive for greatness and what made life joyful. I felt like everything was perfect and that I was on top of the world. However, this all changed when I entered an unfamiliar apartment that had all my belongings. I was only eleven when my parents split up, and the age where I had to grow up fast. My parent’s separation is something that holds me back till this day. For two years, I felt like I was on my own because my parents were never home. It seemed like my sisters and I were the ones being punished. There were countless nights where my sisters and I cried because of this sense of emptiness. My parents did not think we had to depend on them anymore, but they did not

Two days before my mother had died we had an argument about my behavior. ´Akiko your 14 already start acting like your own age´. ‘Mom i don't want to be 14 i want to go back and be a child again why can't you let me do that ?´ ‘Akiko you will have to grow up eventually and start having a life of your own i don't want anything to happen to you’ i ran out of the house. I know it's stupid fighting over me being so childish but in reality i just wasn't ready to grow up, that would have meant to watch my parents grow old and die. Guess i should have listen to my mother and behaved , i ran into a road without looking . i heard a loud horn sounds then everything went in slow motion i was pushed out the way and landed on the sidewalk . i heard the

No one was getting along, and he was drinking more after the death of my grandfather. We had been is Yosemite for a few days and it was our last night. We decide to go eat dinner and play cards together. From the start he had already made fun of my brother and had been putting my mom down. So much so, that before I could finishing dealing the cards, eli was leaving and my mom was silent. I forgot what I said now, but I remember the response, and the look I got. After I heard the words everyone stopped moving. I held half the deck in my hands, Eli stood, half way through pushing in his chair, and my mom looked up in shock. He didn't say anything else to me, just stared. At first, I don't think I really processed what he said, but that night I really thought about it. I realized then that my dad was truly gone. He wasn’t a dad anymore, he was a strange, someone I no longer knew. I promised myself that week that I need to grow up, and let go of the believe that my dad was suppose to be someone I looked to for advice and help. Now, I do most things for myself. It hurts the most when I see my brother. He used to be so fun, and outgoing, and now, I can see the impact my dad has had on his feelings. It hurts because he has had to grow up earlier that I had to. I’m still not quite there yet, and I still struggle a lot with everything, but I'm figuring things out, and needless to say, I grew up that

When I was 11 years old, my father died. Not knowing what to do with that reality and the emotions that came with it, I turned to my mother. My mother has always been my rock, so I was confident that she would put this entire situation into perspective. She explained to me how my dad had been sick for a while, and how god did not want to see him suffer any longer, so he called my father home. When I attended the funeral, it occurred to me that this would be the last time I would see my father. As the time of grieving progressed, I grew unmotivated, uninterested, and depressed. In middle school, I joined an after school program called Teen Hype. Teen Hypes's goal was to empower youth to be their very best self. After joining this program, my

comes back full force. My straight A’s start to drop to D’s and E’s, I quit all my after-school activities, stopped talking to everyone, and started to skip school almost everyday. I had always struggled with depression, but it had never been this bad before, I felt like I was drowning and she was pulling me down with her. I struggled a lot with my depression, I had to go to the emergency room twice during the school year for suicide attempts, I just wanted to give up on everything. During this time things kept getting worse and worse, tension kept on building between my mom and me and I still hadn't seen my dad. I remember that night so clearly as if it was yesterday. My mom and I had been arguing all day, We were in my room and kept on arguing

“Alexis, get down here now!” my mother yelled as she banged the door. “You better stop wearing those ugly jeans and jean jacket!” she yelled even louder.

As I approached my mother she was heart broken she kept saying that it’s going to be alright my father was hurt holding all of us my whole family was in shock because out of all the people my brother hung around and all the people in his circle who would’ve thought he would be the one to die. My father felt like all of the sins he committed karma didn’t hit him it hit his son you see my brother passed away on father’s day and that made my whole family different it made me and my little brother get closer we would always fight. The media and the school showed up like 3 days in a row to speak with us I did not want to speak because of the circumstances the way I seen it was that nobody cared about us and they didn’t feel our pain at all, during the time I felt like I had nobody I stayed in the house for about two months I didn’t eat or anything for a

I suffered the loss of a few close friends, a handful of bad breakups, and the never-ending flow of gossip and controversy. As a slightly wiser and more mature version of my nine year-old self, I knew that I should go to my mother for help, but I was too stubborn, and I just wasn’t ready to trust her. I pushed her away, despite her unfailing attempts at comforting me. She wanted to be there for me, but I didn’t want her to be. I was certain that our relationship was over, and that once I had my own life, I’d eventually stop returning her calls and move on, but she wouldn’t let that happen. She loved me so much that she learned to respect my distance when I needed it, but was ready to help when I came to her in any

Everybody in my family was heart broken especially my dad. The news was so sudden because I left school early and I didn’t understand why I left. Once I got home, I saw my dad crying on the sofa in the living room. I knew something bad has happened. As in bad because I have never seen my dad like that before he sees himself as such a powerful man that he seems so vulnerable. Weeks after my uncle's funeral there was, of course, another argument. I saw myself as a kid who was torn and split to be shared between a family that was close to disaster. It was hard, I used to blame myself for everything to see if I was able to resolve the

Every good person I met, I’d think “Please don’t leave me like my dad did, don't look the other way like my dad did, please I don’t even know who my dad is.” and I reached this point where i was bullied and the most memorable thing that bully said to me was “I bet you're like this because your mom doesn't raise you right” and I broke how far i fell that day. I knew my mom was trying her best but while she was getting better I was getting worse and she was barely home and iI was barely ok. A few days after, my best friends since kinder and i drifted away and she left because I pushed her away because i thought she deserved more than me. After that I was in between friends, I was in between personalities. Each friend group I’d go to I’d act like them, pretend to be them. I became so tired. So tired I wanted to give up and I tried to cut myself, I was so close to doing it but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. I then heard the thoughts in my head say “She’s such a coward she can’t even do it” I believed them. I wanted not to and I wanted to prove them wrong so I tried again but I heard a different voice. He said “Don't do it. I love you so much

I met my brother and sister from across a classroom desk in the basement of Saint Anthony’s Medical Center. I was walking into my first Alateen meeting with my biological sister, Alex, with a blank stare and a mind overflowing with thoughts of why and how I had gotten there. Alex and I sat down next to a boy, who was about sixteen years old with tan skin and brown hair, and a girl, who was about twelve years old and looked just like him. Fast forward three years and I found myself moving the boxes of these two into a new house. Everyday I am rendered by the mere thought that if I hadn’t gone to those meetings, if my mother hadn't gone to those meetings, I would have lost another father.

I was only four years old when my mother was murdered by my father I was there when it all started and I was there when it ended. Her death was a quick one so I was happy that she didn’t have to go through a painful death like the ones that I would have to witness first hand. After my mother’s death my life has been full of pain and sorrow. I miss mother but I know missing her won’t do me any good. The instant that father had murdered mother he put me inside of a facility where kids are not wanted.