Personal Narrative: Coming Of Age

During this time of grief, Della feels overwhelmed knowing her mom is not the person she used to be and now is like an “ancient little girl”, which causes her to engage in self-destructive behavior (114). She mentions that she was in “two car accidents” and “was arrested twice” during her senior year. However she said those incidents were not “her fault.” Along with her reckless driving, she says she, “couldn’t keep [her] hands on the wheel” (113). This act of carelessly driving reveals that in a way, she does not care much about herself in those accidents since she does not own up to her actions and simply states that she “couldn’t” hold on to the steering wheel and talks about the accidents and arrest so casually despite the fact that her life was at risk. Della also portrays how people harm themselves when trying to cope with problems by using drugs. On nights when, “the pain wasn’t so bad,” she would go downstairs and “smoke a joint” (115-116). Drugs such as marijuana work as stimulant and a depressant, which means they can enhance mood and put someone is a state of relaxation. For that reason, many people, including Della, use it to cope with their pain. After caring for her mother, “six terrifying hours every night,” she uses the drug to help her escape her problems (115).

She then on went about her family. She grew up in a strict family home were her parents were not born in America, but from Poland like myself. She said that they were very strict with what she could and could not do. She had a strict curfew also, she was basically locked up and was not allowed to do things her friends could do. They were using an Authoritarian parenting style (Feldman, 2008). Their relationship with a child is where the parent’s word is law. Authoritarian parents do not engage in discussions with their teen and family rules and standards are not debated. But when she turned 18 they gave her more freedom, she was allowed to stay out later, go to parties, and do pretty much what her friends did. This type of parenting style is known as “Authoritative”, were the parents and somewhat strict, but let the adolescent have a sense of independence (Feldman, 2008).

Many underestimate the power that a singular event possesses and the extent at which it can alter one’s mindset. Often times a shift in the method of thinking and processing information, the act which drives our entire being, signifies a “coming of age”. Reaching a pivotal moment in time where not only do those around you recognize the transformation, but you also fully embrace the alteration. In layman's terms, transitioning out of childhood conjures thoughts and ideas that evolve from the foundation of one’s life. For me, the potent mixture of a short-lived period of blissful innocence and a pressurized home environment led to the culmination of a desire to succeed.

It was during those years that her world had seemed to be turned upside down. All her and her children's needs were the responsibility of her husband, now that he was out of the picture, she had to take on the role of sole provider for her family. "The toughest part was the feeling of hopelessness, "She starts. "Everything I knew, all the the things I had hoped for were gone. I had a feeling of embarrassment being back home, as if I had failed. Now my children were looking to me. I knew that something needed to be done. My parents were always the example of working hard, and that is when I began to take stock of my talents. Don't get me wrong, its not like I changed overnight, I had to do what I needed to do. I worked at least two to three jobs at a time to pay the bills and eventually saved up enough to move out of my parent's house... again," she smiles.

As she creeped into the room she side stepped the glass bottles on the floor and little packets of cigarettes that were thrown about and pills and packets of sugar that were scattered by the mirror that Mom put on the floor. Why did mom eat pancakes with powdered sugar without me? Did she finish breakfast? I didn’t think we even had powdered sugar left. Did she take her medicine yet? Mommy wasn’t herself without her special medicine.

So she had to move to South Carolina with her mother and stepfather. Once she moved her she felt like her life had took a tragic turn. Her stepfather was abusive to her mother and he really didn’t want her to live with them. She felt out of place and she really missed her father and the way she was use to growing up.

This was her way of coping and adjusting to her surroundings. She made her argument in this essay ever clear by stating necessary and important points that would support her

Once this girl started with the drugs, she could not stop. As soon as she tried the first drug, it lead to all of the other drugs and things that she did. Her first time doing the drug was an accident, and she did not know, but she made the wrong choice in continuing to do them. She said it gave her a feeling of belonging and love that she had never felt before. If her parents or her close friends had paid more attention to her, then some of the events that happened would not have happened. Her heavy drug use lead to her runaway from home to the streets, involvement in crime, her prostitution, and her visit to the insane asylum. She found a "best friend" (Chris) - one that would give her drugs - and they decided to runaway and leave their family and friends to start their own shop in San Francisco. They thought they could not handle their parents telling them what is right and what is wrong, but that is what they needed to hear. They were naive in thinking they could live their lives alone without any rules or any authority.

She thought this is what her mother wanted until her mother brings up that she will be moving in with a grandmother she hasn’t spoke to in years for the whole summer. The mother’s Point of View is also one that helped cause tension because she doesn’t see the big deal in moving to Costa Rica to finish research. She is sending her daughter to the grandmother even though they might not see eye to eye. This causes tension between the mother and daughter when it confuses the daughter because at one point her mother wants her to go out and make friends and at another she is sending her away for the summer. She isn’t only sending her to the grandmother she didn’t see eye to eye with but also the grandmother the girl hasn’t spoke to since she was six. This is bad timing because the girl is just opening up ready to make friends when her mother is already packing her bags for her. “Her words buzzed around me like a swarm of confused bees.” This proving how she was confused with her mothers’ actions but also hurt that she is moving again. “’New Mexico is worlds away from California. And what am I going to do for two whole months with someone I haven’t seen since I was six? That was half my life ago. She’s a stranger!’ I felt a sudden urge to bolt for the front door and run.” She was so aggravated with her mom that she has to contain her anger. “Mom was always bugging me to make friends, which I didn’t see the point of, considering we moved every few months.” Her mother has changed her mind from wanting her to get comfortable to now telling her about the move. This evidence shows how the two different point of Views cause tension when the mother just tells her out open they are moving without discussing it with the

Outside as I lean onto the rugged, worn down wall I can see her scarlet dripping face clouded with never-ending tears. My hands are frosted from the trembling weather, and my tears have blocked the sound of cars and smell of firewood. It’s only been three days, yet the feeling of being alone in such a big world has filled us with angst. My mom is right in front of me, through the fogged over window I’m gazing in. She has somehow found a way to fill an empty house with dread, which overbears the silence and covers up the scent of vanilla from the bile filling her mouth. Her pain fills me with dread as I taste the freezing sap from the window seal and catch a slight smell of the pine trees that surround us.

homes after that, she was never able to be in a home where she was truly able to feel as loved as a child should. Many people would call her a “mistake” and say that she did not belong. Till

It was at that moment when she sat down looking out the window, she had realized that what she had started to feel was not grief, nor sadness. It was the feeling of relief and the feeling of freedom that she had not felt in so long. All of a sudden it seems like the mood in that room switches from that of grief to that of a subtle happiness. She starts realizing the birds are still chirping, the sky is still blue, and it is finally her time to live her life the way she has been wanting to live it for many years, without the influence of her husband looking over her shoulder telling her what to do. She gets worked up so much that at one point she started saying, "free, free, free!" (537).

She is learning to be out on her own for the first time in her life. Because she is away at school she does not have the guidance that her parents once gave her. She has to make decisions about her life and life choices. So far she has not had much success in making these choices. She almost decided to quit school and move in with her boyfriend. This poor planning has left her very behind in school making her have to attend for an extra year in order to graduate. She also decided that it was all right to smoke marijuana. This led to problems with the law, which is not good considering that she is a criminal justice major. Next year she will be moving into an apartment and will have to work in order to support herself. This is another step toward autonomy from her parents.

“Okay… I will continue walking down the stairs,” she said. The seconds seemed to drag on as both women held their breaths, waiting for Carol to declare she was out of the building. “Mom.” Her voice seemed muffled, like she was talking from very far away. “Mom, I… I am sorry. I don't think I can go any farther. There is too much smoke and I'm exhausted. My body feels heavy. I think… I will sit down and rest… for a few minutes.”

She lifts the handle on her case and, on impulse, leaves her cigarettes and lighter on the dressing table. She will give up smoking, because she won’t need it anymore. She won’t feel frustrated and hemmed in, in her new life. She walks out onto the landing. Before closing the bedroom door behind her she glances in one last