Personal Narrative: Constructive Criticism Of My Writing

Fishing can have some positive effects on the environment and the economy. First fishing helps provide food for restaurants to sell to their customers. Fish are also sold at fish markets so people have food to survive. Many places in the world rely on fishing to sustain their way of living. Without fishing, they would not be able to make a living or survive. In some countries certain fish and fish eggs are a very important delicacy to them. Fishing helps the world go round and provides jobs for many people who fish on commercial fishing boats. Fishing helps many people in the world, but still some people have their negative views on it.

the air hopefully being sucked out of their lungs before it burned them.  The images of the

“What else have you got in there?” Hector asked, genuine curiosity lacing his voice as he placed the glasses back down on the desk.

Do you see that chimney over there? See it? Do you see those flames? Over

He didn't even seem to be inhaling the stuff, instead dramatically blowing the strong smelling smoke out around him trying to make rings. It spiralled in the air mixing with the fog. Lily looked at him with an eyebrow raised silently telling him to at least take a step back. He just smirked. He looked about her age, maybe older. He was wearing even less substantial clothing that she was, as if daring the weather to get colder. He was stood quite relaxed with no signs of discomfort at the biting wind. Clearly it was his own invincibility that kept him from giving in to something as mundane as the

I spin around to see him catching up to me. “At least let me buy you a new drink.” he gestures to the door.

Lionel held up his hand. “We’ve had enough, thank you. But if you’d be so kind, please pack that up and the extras. I’ll stop by the kitchens later to retrieve the leftovers. However, I will accept that pitcher of mead.”

At the moment, there are only 5 articles available for a 3-star rating, which isn't much. I was wondering, can I apply to any teams at this stage? Are there other ways to find additional work?

All over the country are kids sitting in the backseat of their parent’s car with smoke blowing in their faces and kids sitting in the living room with their parents standing at the door smoking. The smoke hits you with a burning fire in your nose as it makes its way into your lungs, like a viper pouncing on a mouse. The smoke im talking about is second hand smoke from cigarettes. But don’t get me wrong the world needs them. What would big tobacco companies do without them!

You shook your head, “I don’ think so. I only have a little left and we need cash, since no one in this town seems to take cards.”

Over the course of this semester, I have learned many things to improve my writing. Having taken the course before, this semester has been an excellent opportunity to expand on my existing knowledge. Although I had written many essays before, there is still much to be learned and improved. Two factors of writing that I had learned or improved on this semester were transitions/topic sentences and how to properly structure a conclusion paragraph.

One of my strong points in writing is coming up with ideas and knowing how to get started on a paper. I guess you can say I am a free writer. Whatever in my head ends up on paper and I could write about a lot of things that matters to me or upsets me and feel passion when writing it down, but there also a weakness that I can’t overcome because my inner critic come along with it. Which makes me completely change and overshadow my own writing. I have a problem with revising and not being able to see the flaws in my writing, but that’s not it. I overpower one topic with another one in other words I would mash up two topics that is the exact opposite of each other which contradict my whole paper. The other problem is shorting up a sentence as well

Al, Alde, de, shon, deshon, and Al’Deshon my name takes on many forms. Kind of like my writing in a sense. I have never been a strong writing also being the reason, I took this class first semester I think. If I get it out of the way maybe I’ll have an easier chance of reaching the finish line happening to be graduation.

Ye? Well I tells you what, all of dis smoke you’s seein’ around here comes from my own pipe, ye? I wouldn’t be talkin’ shit ‘bout it if I was you.

The Centers for Disease Control's warned that breathing drifting tobacco smoke for as little as 30 minutes can raise a non smoker’s risk of suffering a fatal heart attack to that of a smoker.