Personal Narrative: Dead Beauties

I have lost my grandpa and have not gotten over the idea of it. When I was in the sixth grade, my grandfather was very sick; he could barely walk. While my grandmother and some other family members went uptown for some household things, food, and medication, I was told to take care of him. Yet, I wanted to play with my friends outside. He told me to go ahead and play, but for some reason I just got mad and slammed the door and left. Around nighttime, I seen an ambulance pull up to my grandparents’ house.

My name was announced. The silence in the room allowed me to hear the judges’ pens scratch through my concise, four- letter name. With my baggy blue button- down, and all black dress- pants on, I proceeded down the auditorium aisle and onto the stage. Even though the crowd consisted of only around 30 uninterested students who purposefully displayed their lack of care, I still felt a pressing audience. Turning to my public- speaking teacher, I acknowledged the “you-may-begin” nod and turned back to the crowd, realizing what I had gotten myself into.

You know that moment when you’re trying to reach the toilet paper but can't quite, then fall and kill yourself on a pumpkin? Yeah I know that feeling… it’s not good. It all started one very normalish day at 1065 Fitzgerald Ave.

For the last few days I've left completely lifeless-not depressed- just lifeless. I'm very familiar with the feeling of depression. But this shit right here is on a whole different level.

A true friend is someone who is always by your side and appreciates who you really are. I am Liesel Memminger and I was fortunate enough to have Rudy Stiener as my best friend. He was kind and compassionate yet a Saukerl at the same time, a mixture only Rudy could accomplish, and I am here to share my personal experiences with him.

It was a normal weekend when my brother ,Seth, and I were riding our dirt bikes in the trails just by our neighborhood. My buddy Jacob found us on the trails and decided to ride with us so we let him lead. We started to follow him and we ended up in a trail that only he goes down into. He went so far ahead that we lost him and couldn’t hear his bike anymore. Seth said that he was turning around so I turned around with him and we started heading home. I remember not paying attention to anything but my brother. He started fading, just then when I thought he left without me, he turns on his lights. I checked my watch and it was 12:00 o’clock noon but it was pitch black. I turn on my lights and

am beset {long pause} How long will I let the pain and loss define my life? An enduring struggle of loss and gain A monumental achievement through the tangles of deeds But is left alone with silent words

Six consecutive second place, Science Fair trophies sit in the deepest, darkest, most isolated place in my house... my closet. Upon entering the closet, I’m automatically overwhelmed with a horrifying stench, a mixture of plastic, metal, and disappointment, also known as second place. Once the scent enters the nasal cavity, it immediately calls war upon the cerebellum, attacking strongly and injuring the motor cortex, thus creating a chill to run through my body, leaving me powerless and without words. After the chill, next follows the noise. Mockingly congratulates me, whispering “great job, you almost had it,” oh the humanity; “second place” repeatedly echoes in my ear until I escape the closet.

My Signature Themes are achiever, arranger, responsibility, input, and significance. Each of these are very significant in defining my strengths and showing me how to best use my strengths in my future. My first strength was achiever and this is representing me as a whole, and is what I use in everyday life. I am a driven person who wants to accomplish many things and I visualize my life as a mountain that I will overcome every day and at the end of every day I will have a beautiful view of what I have accomplished. I use every day in events such as: relentless volunteering, working long hours and everything is done with an impeccable sense of satisfaction after completion. My second and third strengths are arranger and responsibility. These

I don’t know how to continue now that she is dead. What could I have done to stopped her ? Nothing I guess. How does one keep moving after something like this. She called that night me and told me she loved me. I said I loved her and told her to go to bed because it was late. What would have happened if I stayed on the phone? Things might be different. We could be eating popcorn and watching horror movies right now. But now my life is a horror movie. Everywhere I go reminds me of her. I can't function in school. They thought that a week would be enough time. Going back to a place where I have so many memories with her has just made it worse. I met her here. Right here.

Experiencing loss is hopeless. I personally felt loss on the morning of February 4, 2010, when my father died from pancreatic cancer. After many years of surgeries, doctor appointments, chemotherapy, and fighting, the villains inside his body had ultimately won the battle. Entering through the tall glass doors of the hospital, I could see my mother walking down the hallway towards me. Although she tried to force a calming smile, her anxious expression and red puffy eyes filled me with panic. As she kneeled down to greet me with a hug, my brother immediately left my side to go to the ICU where my dad was being cared for. When I looked back at my mother, she began to smile through tears and guided me towards a gloomy room with numerous televisions and chairs. I climbed up onto one of the blue plastic cushions as my mother waited to tell me the worst news of my life.

April 6, 1997, twenty years ago our family lives was drastically changed, with the death of my husband, father of my children. Mike was only forty-two years’ old when he passed away from a heart attack. Mike went to the hospital complaining of chest pains; he was observed in the hospital overnight, and some tests were taken of his heart. He was released from the hospital and three days later he died in his sleep from the widow maker heart attack. With the history of heart disease in the family, his grandfather/father passed away from heart disease at the age of forty years old. Waking up that morning and finding Mike has passed away in his sleep; was very devastating for our family, his mom, brothers, my sisters, and brother-in laws. At the time of his death, I was thirty-six-years old, a stay home mom, and our children Amy, was eleven years old, Kristina, nine years old, and Vincent seven years old. The hospital did not take any responsibility of his passing; we received no social services or any explanation from the hospital why the tests didn’t show any results of heart disease. Now my status is widow/single parent unemployed raising our three children on my own. Not knowing what the future holds for us.

The holograms should’ve warned us to take a deep breath. Close our eyes. Then again, the holograms should’ve done a lot of things. Like told the truth.

I won't be disappointed anymore. The utter bitterness taste of a loss. Set me back centuries from mental state, but by repeating the same mistakes at the same tournament. It was my sophomore year i was on the wrestling team. the heat immense in my warm up gear as i drilled moves with my partner deeandre. It was the biggest tournament in my eyes. It was junior varsity conference tournament held at new trier high school a school we despised for reasons I didn't even know. But that didn't matter at the time it was time for me to win this baby, win the whole thing, bring a trophy home,a medal, something I told myself. It was held in a gym 3 mats, three score tables and referees. each table would go by a weight class and call your name. this was

I am so humbled to have been a part of such a huge production and event this past weekend in West Palm Beach, FL. I Co Produced the first ever A Concert for Humanity benefit concert, benefiting the amazing charity Wells of Life. Did you know? every 21 seconds a child dies from drinking contaminated water. The Incredible team and I put together a concert to bring awareness to this and I have to say, we kicked ass. We got the Grammy Nominated NEEDTOBREATHE to fly out and put on the concert of a lifetime. 5 (short) weeks of hard work, planning, studying and preparing we were able to bring it all together. There were many highlights of my weekend, talking with the creators of Wells Of Life, meeting to many selfless people, hanging with the band,