Personal Narrative: Discovering My Sexual Orientation

Currently, I am in the process of not only becoming comfortable in my identity, a black queer woman, but, also attempting to find solace in my identity as well. Something that all women, especially black queer women, should achieve in their lifetime. It is that dream that inspires me to travel to experience other cultures and to unite with women from various cultures across the black diaspora. Throughout many cultures, women’s identities are defined by their male counterparts and the labor they provide to them. Therefore, a major goal of mine is to create a space where women are able to exist outside the scope of their relationships with men and live uninhibitedly to become their best selves. That is why I find it pertinent to travel not only

Everyone comes to find who they truly are and what they stand for eventually in life. Whether it's during adolescence or adulthood, destiny wraps its fingers around each individual..From the very moment you are born, destiny decides to take away the values and qualities deemed favorable in society. You have no say as destiny rips them from your life unknowingly: your pride, your ability to be normal, your ability to have children and even for some individuals their family and home. That is what it feels like to be transgender; to come out and accept this fact, but the hardest part was where I had unearthed my destiny. Middle school, we've all been there: acne, hormones, confusion, discovery, and the last time to fully taste designated recess. It was there that I uncovered my destiny to be, even though many will travel the road to dawn or dusk, I choose the

As a child I suffered tremendously with confusion, self hatred, and misunderstanding about my own sexuality. Growing up queer in a small town is never an easy thing. I went through years of denial, and hid all of my thoughts about what I thought could be. I was so muddled in an all too common train of thought that my first conclusion was that I was incapable of loving another human being. Having never experienced honest crushes or any emotional or physical attraction to the opposite sex, I was very frightened for my ability to one day have a family. This thought put me into a mode of paranoia and panic. I began to search any place I could for any other possibility, hoping for some form of medication or therapy to ail me of what I thought was a mental illness. After only a few minutes at the computer, I realized there was nothing wrong with my mind, or capability to love. I am just gay.

At the age of twelve I knew for sure that I was gay. I struggled with this internally because I knew that socially it was not normal. Many people made fun of gay people, and they made some people feel very bad about themselves. The first task of coming out was not to let people get to me in

Social aspects of my life would teach me that being homosexual or bisexual was wrong, but others (while living in Palm Springs, Ca.) taught me that it was completely normal to have such sexual orientations. I have lived in California my whole life which has always had heavy, heated debates about allowing same sex marriages, allowing homosexuals in the military, and fighting for homosexual equality, so the history behind my state has made me grow up to be comfortable around gays even with the disturbing things I had been subjected to while I was growing up in Palm Springs. This class has now taught me many things I did not know about when it comes to the psychological aspects of being homosexual or bisexual, but I am still a heterosexual, and comfortable with it.

My parents were struggling after my older sister came out a lesbian before fleeing to college. Seeing how hurt they were, I kept my support for her secret. I remember one night hearing my mom alone in her room, sobbing and crying to God. She pleaded with Him, begging “why me?” I could not come out.

Published by the Huffington Post, 20 year old Austin Fisher voices his process of coming out in his article entitled “The 3 Sides to my Coming Out Story”. I choose to analyze and reflect on this text for I believe it displays various situations and perceptions in response to one coming out. The author starts by explaining how he came to terms with himself. When Fisher was younger he idolized his brother’s bravery for announcing his homosexuality to the world. This planted a seed in Fisher’s mind that would not seem to stop growing. Though deep down he knew he was gay, he was not ready to admit it to himself or the outside world. Instead, Fisher suppressed his “gay side” and reinvented himself. He got a girlfriend and views “coming out” as overrated, for Fisher views it as unfair and unjust that because of his inherently “wrong” sexualtity he has to go through an emotional process of explaining who he is attracted to the people he loves.

Living in a small, conservative town in rural Illinois, I knew there would be many people opposed to my decision to simply exist as I would. However, I knew I couldn’t internalize this. My sexuality was like some sort of horror

I knew it would be a challenging for my family to accept me being gay. Being the only gay male in the family was not as easy as it sounded in my head. I decided to wait for the “right time”. As years passed, it took a toll out of

My first experience with someone who was gay, it was easy to accept. I grew up in a very open home that told me it was okay to be who you are. Once I asked my friend how he knew he was gay, he told me he tried to date girls but he was not comfortable in a relationship with a girl. However later in high school he began to grow feelings for a mutual male friend. That moment he knew who he was then sophomore year he came out as openly gay. From what I saw from this is to prove a point he did not choose to be gay but found his sexual identity. He always says I was born this

In my college years, I started to realize that my perception of normality was not the same as everyone else. I’ve learn that people have their own way of lifestyle. Also, that the word “normal” is defined in several ways and not everyone has the same definition for it. Normative is a wide factor that includes many different variables to different people. What made me become more aware of homosexuality was the time I began to expand my social surroundings. In the environment I grew up in, there was a strict stigma towards homosexuals. I felt the pressure to believe in what everyone else around me believed in because I did not want to be considered as an outsider. Inclusion was important to me because feeling a part of a social group was crucial. It wasn’t until I began to stop caring about what my friends and family’s ideology about heterosexual marriage was when I broke free from my chain. The time I started my higher education career was time I met new people that changed my perception on diversity. I had the pleasure to met many people from different culture, religion, color, and sexual orientation. Acceptance for myself to be who I want to be became clear. My view of the world was changing. I was bided to the chain of ignorance because I lacked motivation to seek for the truth in the world around me. Through my college education, I met many homosexual individuals that influence my life. Majority of the time I discovered many commonalties I had with these individuals regardless of our sexual orientation. Although, the stereotype of homosexual does persist, it did not stop me from being open minded. I was ignorant before because I lack perception of homosexuals as normal individuals. I judge them as a whole because of what I have learned through my family’s cultural values, beliefs and

“Coming out” is a means of identifying one’s sexual orientation as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. At its most basic, “coming out of the closet,” means being honest with those around you—friends, family, colleagues, and so forth—about your sexual orientation, about whom you are. It also means acknowledging one’s sexual orientation to self. Such disclosure is an ongoing, lifelong process rather than a one-time event. New personal, social, and professional situations require gay men and lesbians to make decisions about the degree to which they can be open about their sexual orientation (Morrow, 1996).

My coming out went really smoothly. My grandma is totally chill with it. I first told her in 3rd grade when I liked Kennedy. I honestly can not remember a thing about it, but I do know now that I talk to her about it quite often, and she does not care. She supports me.

I knew from the time I was 12 that I was attracted to females and not males. I grew up with 4 older brothers and just wanted to be one of the guys. I played sports and got dirty, unlike my sisters who danced and talked about boys. I remember over hearing my mom one day while watching a movie with a homosexual scene, how “gross and unnatural” that was. That pushed me even further into my closet. My parents were born and raised Catholics. My mom believed in a marriage between a man and a woman, and anything else was unnatural. She used to say that those were the poor choices people made. I focused my attention on school and sports and even got a job during high school just to keep me distracted and away from home. I figured the less I was around my family the less likely they would be to figure out my secret

Stephanie Fairyington wrote the article “The Gay Option”, describing her experience of coming out to her mother about her sexuality. In this article she talks about how being gay influenced her life in all aspects. Fairyington explains her own personal life so that the audience can better understand the meaning of her article. She came out to her mother in a letter at the age of twenty-eight and explained that it was something she didn’t choose. “If there was a straight pill,” I lamented, “I’d swallow it faster than you can say the word gay.” (Fairyington 50). She says this because deep down she wanted some sympathy from her own mother. Confessing something like this to your close ones is hard no matter how accepting you feel they may be.