Personal Narrative: Foreclosure

I have lost my grandpa and have not gotten over the idea of it. When I was in the sixth grade, my grandfather was very sick; he could barely walk. While my grandmother and some other family members went uptown for some household things, food, and medication, I was told to take care of him. Yet, I wanted to play with my friends outside. He told me to go ahead and play, but for some reason I just got mad and slammed the door and left. Around nighttime, I seen an ambulance pull up to my grandparents’ house.

James Marcia developed what he called the identity status. Marcia used the term identity status to label and describe four unique developmental identity stations or points. Each identity status represents a particular configuration of youth 's progress with regard to identity exploration and commitment to the values, beliefs, and goals that contribute to identity. The identity status consisted of four systems, the

Everyone experiences sadness — sadness is a part of life. However, with many people, their sadness can escalate into a feeling of emptiness and a lack of motivation. I have encountered this, and I am still dealing with it today. Few can remember the moment it happened, but I can. For me, my depression started on my 14th birthday. It happened during a sleepover at my house around 12 a.m. I can remember just laying on my couch texting my friend all content and the next thing I know, I just feel this empty sadness take over, it was unlike anything I had felt before. It had taken me awhile but eventually I realized what was happening to me. It started out as just sadness for a few years, then it morphed into this numbing emptiness. I could still

I remember coming home on a Monday afternoon and standing in front of the mirror in my room. Mascara and eyeliner were smeared all over my face, and my eyes were puffy. I went over to my dresser and grabbed the small pill bottle laying on top of it. I started off by taking 5. 5 turned into 10; 10 turned into 20; and before I knew it, I had taken 35 pills.

I have learned quite some lessons since I was eight years of age. See, I grew up with immense depression, anxiety, insomnia, and minor schizophrenia. Of course, I never knew that because I always thought it was something every child went through, the twist; however, I did not have "Imaginary friends", all-though everyone described those voices as them, they were demons to me. These "demons" patronized me days in and days out. Due to these "demons" I never got to sleep which resulted in hallucinations. These hallucinations concluded with me flailing around thinking I was about to get killed or hit by an oncoming car when there was no car in either direction of me.

October 1929, the stock market crashed. Millions of investors went into panic. There was an incline in unemployment as companies laid off workers. Half the country’s banks failed. Meanwhile Hoover and other known leaders did nothing to resolve the crisis which caused matters to get worse. People began to lose their homes and everything they had. Before the Great Depression hit us, my life was perfect, now it’s falling apart.

Everyone knows the feeling of wanting to speak to someone yet the fear of rejection is stuck in the back of your mind, refusing to leave. "Painfully shy", a term used by fellow peers when describing me, and I must admit that they are far from wrong. I find myself stuck in an endless cycle of worry and regret, missing out on great opportunities as the thought of socialising with people I don't know makes my stomach churn and my palms sweat, a wave of nausea crashing over my entire being. I don't think "shy" is the correct label for me. However, I'm unsure what it is that's wrong with me, nor do I know if I will ever find out.

There were many people affected by the most recent recession and therefore forced to foreclose on their homes. Losing a home due to foreclosure leaves a big black eye on an individual’s credit score and forces these people to be patient until they are approved to rejoin the housing market. “Boomerang buyers” are a group of potential homeowners who are re-entering the housing market after losing their homes due to foreclosure.

They always say that depression is something that’s all in your head. It’s something made up, something fabricated by your own selfish internal world. You don’t realize when it hits you or how it hits you. One day you just realize you no longer know how to feel; you’ve become numb. Growing up I was happy. I lived a happy life. I had a bed of my own and a roof over my head. I was surrounded by friends and family who loved me. I was content for as long as I can remember.

I grew up in a household where personal finances and building good credit was not the main topic of discussion at the dinner table. I was well over 21 years of age when I really started learning anything about credit and how to use my credit score to my advantage. To be honest, my first real encounter with being taught about personal finances and credit came from attending a network marketing meeting. Even though I was invited because of a business opportunity, I learned so much listening to this guy talk about regaining your wealth through your own personal finances.

The foreclosure/housing market crash several years ago affected a vast amount of families across the country. Unfortunately, my family was also affected. Thankfully, my parents have not gone through foreclosure yet, but we are all stuck in a house because we are “underwater” (owe more than it is worth). This crisis directly and indirectly affected so many, but thankfully we are all starting to bounce back.

Depression is intoxicating. She has celestial silver skin and Her eyes are stormy gray with hints of ocean wave from within. When the light hits just right, they reflect a peaceful time when everything at night came to life. She once disguised herself as a companion to me and my best friend, Imagination, an artist with cotton candy hair and emerald eyes. Imagination, Happiness, Compassion, Idealism, Ambition and I had found a home in each other. We would sit all day coloring in abstract patterns with blended water color or riding horses through lively fields of painted grass. We would drone on and on about the future and how we would do this, that, and endless others. Idealism, Ambition, and Compassion set their elaborate plan for us being humble millionaires who would make the world a better place. In unison we always said, “We have potential.” That was until Depression started tagging along. We tried to help Her fit in, but Her water colors smudged in all the wrong places and She had to start again. All the horses ran from Her, grass wept

In 2008, the recession hit hard in St. George, Utah, which caused my father to be laid-off and become unemployed for two years. With the urging of a friend, my dad packed up his tools and drove to Williston, North Dakota with no job and no place to live. He took a leap of faith to save our family, and the day he arrived, he found a job and a place to live. Having him leave me was heartbreaking. He went from being there daily to quarterly. He is my hero because he made the biggest sacrifice of his life. He moved fourteen hours away to work twelve hours a day and seven days a week to support us.

All throughout our lives, we wrestle with the question of who am I and what do I want in life? However, it is usually during the adolescent years that this issue really comes to a head and we begin a more earnest search into finding ourselves and deciding the direction we want to take with our lives. One of the theorists who studied this idea of identity formation was James Marcia. Marcia proposed that there were four different stages or statuses in the development of identity which he labeled Identity Diffusion, Identity Foreclosure, Identity Moratorium, and Identity Achievement. In this essay, we will briefly summarize his four different stages and then apply his theory to my own identity development during the adolescent years.

James Marcia, an Eriksonian researcher believed that in to maintain the status “identity achievement” an individual must undergo crisis and make a commitment. Crisis is defined as “the period of identity development during which the individual is exploring alternatives.”(Santrock 386) The commitment is made when different approaches, ideologies, and vocations are explored on their own in response to the crisis. Key Changes in identity primarily occur in emerging adulthood. “Once formed, an identity furnishes individuals with a historical sense of who they have been, a meaningful sense of who they are now, and a sense of who they might become in the future.”(James Marcia)