all my life, i've been told that i don't exist. pansexuality? it's a foreign concept to many, but for me, it's my entire reality. it's sewn into me with star-bright, skin-tight stitches, something i can't avoid seeing and feeling and having, and yet- yet other people can't perceive it, can't understand it, can't even begin to comprehend its existence. it's strange, really; sometimes i hate it for being a part of me, so complex and so obscure and so goddamn unknown, but i never have the heart to tear those threads apart- never. after all, it'd be like unravelling the fabric of my very own soul, uncurling the lifelines holding my very being together; and i can't do that, i can't get rid of what's already been woven into me from the beginning …show more content…
it had felt like the embodiment of stormy-grey, all raging tornados and furious turbulence within me, and it had felt like something had swollen up in my ribs, grazing at my organs till i was bleeding with crimson self-hatred on the inside. my lungs had felt knotted and fractured, somehow, as though there had been a brick tied to them dragging them down into the very pit of my stomach; and there had been a lump in the back of my throat, growing bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger till i'd been choking with it, unable to inhale, unable to …show more content…
still, no-one i associated with in real life was queer, and still no-one could truly understand what it felt like. still, i was detached and isolated and completely and utterly alone, and still i was stuck in a suffocating community of religious extremists and intolerant homophobes. so you can only imagine my ecstacy about a year after i'd come out, when A and i had been speaking into the night about god knows what- and then, and then she'd come out as pan too. as i write this, her coming out had only been a week ago, so it's almost burned into the back of my eyelids. i'd been fucking euphoric at the time, which wasn't so good, because whenever i'm happy, i tend to forget the details and feelings of a particular moment. luckily, at 5am, a delirious and joyful me had charged my phone and written it out, spilled my every sentiment onto a blank note-page, detailed the entire event in what it meant to me, all in the form of a narrative; after all, creative writing is one of my passions, and i felt a carnal longing to capture the beauty of that moment somewhere. and here it
In “The Myth of Homosexuality” by Christine Downing, there is the discussion of homosexuality and its meaning over the years. Downing begins the article by stating how a myth has classified women-on-women and men-on-men relationships to fall under the same term of homosexuality, but there is much deeper understanding to it than that. The classification under one word has caused a lot of shaping concerning how they are viewed or how they view themselves. In order to look past the surface of what defines the myth, Downing states that we must start with the culture’s myth and it’s origin.
My feet, without any cloths to protect them were bloody and covered in sores from rubbing against sharp stones. Like some of the horrible bed sores one of my many brothers had gotten years ago. At least that is how I am picturing them in my mind, as couldn’t see them in this light, or lack of. My feet ached, hunger pains were beginning to rise, my head, with such intense pain and that awful, awful feeling that I was not alone. I could feel the hairs on my neck stand as the eerie buzz of silence screamed in my ear. Unconsciously my slow pacing of the perimeter broke into a full speed run.
Alison Bechdel came out as a lesbian when she was 19 years old. Her being homosexual was a reaction off of her father. Bechdel and her father did not really talk, but she understood that her father were gay and she wanted him to notice her love for him being gay because she was the same as him. Bechdel father showed her hidden love. He loved her, but he did not really show it a lot because they never really talk. When Bechdel and her father did talk she was happy because it was unusual for her when he said something to her, or when he got close to her. Bechdel father also tried to take her to a gay bar after her and her father came from the movies, but she was not 21 years old. Bechdel father knew she was homosexual so that made her feel opened and more loved by her father because she felt that he is now understanding her more about her homosexual life.
The wicked, suffocating presence churning around him felt like a cyclone made of microscopic blades and the buzzing noise in his head grew alarmingly louder. He banged his fists against the slimy stone walls until his skin began to scrape off, each strike more urgent than the last.
His stomach was rotten, his chest was tight, and his legs could no longer move. He had been shocked at what he had just seen. It must have been a metamorphic transformation. His body began to tremble as a very terrifying reality engulfed him. Frozen against the carved mahogany staircase his eyes strained excruciatingly wide, imprisoned by the vision before him. Floating in the air was a deeply victimised entity that anchored itself around him with the thirst of revenge. Its vengeance had been astray till
Pansexuality is an intelligent way of looking at our world. Although it was a crushing blow to my ego that I held stereotypes based on media perception for much of my adult life. I used the word “GAY” to describe people, objects that I knew little or nothing about. I also assumed that many of my “Gay”, or “Lesbian” friends were heterosexual because they didn’t display media driven perceptions of how homosexuals should act. I was so lost, and blind for so long. One day I used the word “Gay” as an adjective to describe something around some of my Gay Friends. They were very offended and asked me to change my vocabulary. I was embarrassed so I brushed it off, citing masculinity. Eventually I did change my vocabulary, and I noticed that my quality of life and my perception of others also
Throughout high school, Gay Straight Alliance acted as a bedrock of support, and last year I eagerly began my journey as President. However, challenges arose at every opportunity. In early 2017, a homophobic student began obsessively tearing GSA flyers off of school walls. This, combined with his potent school shooting threat, caused his juvenile arrest, but for me, a dilemma remained: how could I handle vehement disagreement of my fundamental right to exist?
Imagine four teenagers: Craig, Lucy, David, and Gina. Really think about their appearances and personalities. I’m going to say that you imagined all of them as heterosexual, cisgender, white, average-sized boys and girls. If you did, it’s okay. It’s our brain's default. It’s what is “normal”. What if I said that Craig was gay? What if I said Gina was African-American? Or that David used to be Diana? And Lucy was Buddhist? Most minds of our generation wouldn’t care. It wouldn’t harbor negative feelings now that these people have “breached” if you will, the societies perception of normal. America’s gift to our generation is acceptance.
In today’s society, it is impossible to go two weeks without seeing a headline detailing a recently proposed law regarding same-sex marriages or a news report depicting a mildly influential individual being publicly crucified for expressing degrading comments about homosexuality. Despite the commotion that surrounds the issue, I believe that it is not that complicated of a topic. Personally, I believe that the dispute should be separated into two distinct situations with two distinct solutions. On one hand, you have a political debate. On the other, you have a religious debate. Each situation should be handled separately by completely different individuals. I know where I stand politically; in fact, I feel quite strongly about the
I remember on my first day of preschool, my mom told me, “Abby, don’t tell your teachers about your family.” Sitting in my car seat, at the age of 4, I was starting to become overwhelmed with confusion. This confusion bubbled up inside me for years. I had so many questions that I wanted to ask my moms, but I did not have the courage or the strength to ask. Then I grew up. My perspective on the world changed, and I realized that my parents were seen as a calamity to society. That was my perspective though. I wondered what my mom’s was. How did she grow up in a world that only saw her as a flaw in the system? So I asked. Beth Shaffer’s perspective on her past, the present, and the future is an astonishing story.
I will never forget the day that I first experienced and realized what homophobia was. In the 6th grade I had to sit next to two girls, and we played a “get to know your table buddy” game. I mentioned that I grew up with two dads and immediately they gave me a strange look; the kind that makes you feel a little uneasy. They were raised to believe that being gay ran through family genes and refused to talk to me. I was always getting questioned about my entire lifestyle. It was challenging hearing these comments because I looked up to my family so much, but it helped my transition from childhood to adulthood very rewarding and taught me how to be a more open-minded and non-judgmental human being.
I wasn't sure yet if this was something for which I should be ashamed. Such a momentous shift in mentality was frightening, and I couldn't handle more than a few uncomplicated tidbits at a time. The basics got across- gay people existed, and it was okay to be one of them.
I was whisked along like a spore of slime mold in the wind. There was no fighting the water. There was no hope of grabbing one of the boulders that brushed past my arms. No hope of swimming out of the angry torrent. No hope
I first want to say that I love your channel!!!!!!!!!!!! Girllllll I have some tea for you. So where do I start..... I'm 17 years old, and I'm gay, and I'm in high school, and around the school im known as a hoe, you know what I'm not going to lie I am . SSSSOooooooooo I have my best friend of 5 years, and she has a "boyfriend." let's name her boyfriend, Justin. He talks to me all the time, and he's a DL or thinking, or I don't even know girl anymore he starts touching me and shit. I just stand there in shock. Justin tells me that I should give him some. I'm like aren't you dating someone my bestfriend. One day during class he grabs my hand and puts it on his eggplant, and I yelled "what the fuck" DUDEEEEEEEEEEE I don't know to
In any instance, silence became my virtue-my method of defense against a society that scrutinized, and criticized, homosexuality. I figured if I didn’t speak, I couldn’t “sound gay”. I developed a presence of nonexistence by refusing to interact with others and to participate in class. Fearful my preferred gender and sexuality would be evident, I