Personal Narrative: I Grew Up In A Messed-Up Environment

When I entered as a first time student at UB, I was also exiting an abusive relationship that had become violent. I had very little support and lacked financial resources. I began counseling at the counseling center at UB and continued with classes while also working to support myself. I experienced an overwhelming amount of anxiety and felt uncomfortable on campus from the presence of my previous partner who was also a student at UB. My grades slipped and the opportunity to withdraw passed.

Where I come from it's taking pride in your yard, knowing every single one of your neighbors, and leaving doors unlocked because there isn’t a thing to worry about. I find comfort in that small town feel, and I am more than proud to be from good ol’ Warrenton, Indiana. Here, we are just a wee bit shy of being big enough to be on a map, but we have a name and we have town lines. Within those lines nearly two hundred people have found a home, and thanks to Mr.Dave Gruible our community is steadily flourishing. There are now three subdivisions on the rise in addition to the church, salon, family restaurant, and campgrounds that nestled into the area years ago.

Realizing my life had become unmanageable took place some time before coming to CityTeam. I was living day-to-day in my addiction, not caring about anything or anyone. Stealing was a daily task for me at this time; honest work was not an option. I was unable to keep a job because, no matter what, the drugs came first. Stealing, cheating and lying became all I knew of how to survive.

Being able to keep an open mind even in the face of something that is completely new to you is a difficult feat to accomplish for some, including myself. I am a naturally curious person, but also come from a town where there is not much diversity so any sort of deviation from the “norm” has always piqued my interest. One of the most enlightening experiences I have had was as a student in high school when I joined the gay straight alliance club and one of the guests they brought in was transexual. This was the first time I had been exposed to someone who identified in that category and I was interested and unsure of how I would react to meeting this person.

The mass of clownified humanity that we gazed upon was horrifically impressive. They were swarming upon the facility like a malicious rainbow sea. The facility was located in a secluded wilderness area and it had one road leading up to it. This road was stuffed with clown cars. Judging by how many of the vehicles were simply cars hastily and gaudily painted with spray paint, I deduced that much of this army was recently infected clowns. It turns out they had rapidly, within a day, recruited the next city over in preparation for this siege. Our wonderment was interrupted by the ricochet of bullets as the gun toting clowns fired upon us. It would take a lot more than that to kill this bird though.

When I was young, I had to grow up fast. My dad was out of my life since I was very young. I grew up around my mom’s friends. I always tried to act older and be mature so I didn’t annoy them with the fact that I was still a child. I wanted to try and be like them since I knew that they were good people. I feel like I never got to really be a child, even though I did. I was super spoiled and was the only child. Life couldn’t get any better for me since I was mature and had everything I wanted. It just would’ve been better if I could’ve acted more childish and not so uptight.

One of the thoughts about insanity says that a clear sign of it is when something is repeated over and over again with the person expecting different results. If this was true, then I’m the crown prince of that kingdom. Saying that this was going to end badly is clearly as perfect of an example of my insanity as any. I folded up another note, I had spent days composing in hopes that the only girl I had ever thought about awake and asleep would consider going out with me on a date. What made this insane is that I have been writing the perfect note for the past three years.

Have you ever failed multiple times at something and you can not quite figure out exactly why you can not succeed? I have one instance that I failed at two years in a row. I always played basketball throughout high school and still play today, but there was always one goal I had strived for. I wanted to win a sectional championship, which means you are the best team in the district. I made it to the championship game three out of my four years in high school and I never got the title that I thought I needed to be considered good enough. Failing three times did not define me, but it definitely taught me things that I would never have learned if I would have won at least one of the three games.

My uncle picked me up and I left the place I grew up. I left my family, my friends, and my two dogs and moved to Colorado to live with my dad and his family. This affected me terribly because my grades dropped. If it wasn’t for my first year in Paramount and taking Game Development at Warren Tech, I would’ve had less than a 2.667 GPA. During this whole time, I isolated myself and stayed in my room, playing video games as an escape. I met my two best friends during this time, John and Triston who kept my head up during my many breakdowns. Thank god for my Dad because he kept trying to get me out of my shell for the 3 years I was in high school. By the time I finally started accepting what happened, I graduated high school. I didn’t know what

CRASH! My head throbbed from the sudden collision between the stairwell and my noggin. Family members began to pour into the accident scene with concern bluntly written over each of their faces. My mother immediately started inspected the wounds given to me once she spotted the damage. In that moment, I could not focus on anything other that the burning sensation near my chin; I was incapable of forming words as responses to my crews constant questioning; after a short consideration between my family, my mother placed a damp paper towel over the cut and put me into the car, where we were then going to drive to the hospital as if it was a race; except, it was a competition. It was a race against the clock,

Our lives are inevitably tied to multiple people that come in and out of it. The people and experiences I encountered have driven me to be resilient, hopeful and given me the mindset to never give up. I have found clarity and purpose by adding meaning to these experiences.

“The past is where you learned the lesson.” Mistakes happen to everyone. Some change you for better or for worse, but all mistakes give you a lesson. These lessons help you form your identity and how you are viewed by others. With this you can either succeed or fail. One of my mistakes that changed me for the better was taking a break from softball.

Decide is one of the most difficult thinking that everyone can have in the life. Perhaps. Every day, every time, we are making quick decisions and we don’t notice it. In the life we have innumerable decisions to make. Leaving everything you have like your job, school, and home besides get a new beginning is a big desicion to meake and that is the way of how this story begins.

Neither of my parents went on to any higher education after high school. This forced them enter the workforce in lower paying jobs. I witnessed my father loose his job of over 20 years in the dying shoe manufacturing industry at the age of 45. He had to pursue a new career in a completely opposite field of work. From there he had to work his way up the ladder to the position he is at today. My mother works hours on end at the same vet clinic for about 27 years as an unfortified vet tech. With my parents working these jobs instead of going to college has caused them to live paycheck to paycheck. Though my family and I have never went without our essential needs. My parents have instilled in me with a very diligent work ethic and the drive to

Ok, so some may say I was toxic before. But to be honest with you, I'm not. I have been through some very tough things this past month my stepdad is still in recovery from open heart surgery so I took the time in between to reflect and ask myself what I have to do to be a better person. So, long story short, trust me I'm back to minecraft and I'm not toxic and now especially my friends find me very considerate and respectful, and I would love to prove that to all you staff members on this wonderful team. Other info about myself: I like playing minecraft as you can see and I'm good at building, I'm on the track team for my school and I love playing