Personal Narrative: Jin-Sang

Growing up, it was beaten into my head the importance of going to college to get a good job. I have to provide for myself and make good money. I won’t be “happy” unless I have this. Even though my parents told me that the game was just a game, I was still impacted by the very thought of not failing at life. Based off the game I had the notion that was how the real world worked, and in a weird way, it is how it works. The goals aspired in that game are ones my parents and authority figures have me strive for continually, to go to college, get a job, have a family, be successful. There’s all kinds of pressure at the dinner table of, “So do you know what you want to be when you grow up? A lawyer, a doctor, or a business woman?” Even in middle school I was given personality assessments to figure out my future career, and how to plan my high school schedule according to my desired profession.

When I graduated high school I had no idea what I wanted to do, all I knew is I was done with public school and could live my life as what I thought an adult was. My father and most of my family believed it was important for me to go to college, and get a kick start with my life. Though they weren’t wrong, I had no idea what I wanted to do and no discipline to do my studies to the full extent of my abilities.

From a very early age, I always assumed it was a part of my future to pursue an education. The American educational system engraves the importance of school at a very young age. Elementary school children are motivated through rewards when they try their hardest to reach their goals. Students are exposed to statistics and facts outlining the consequences of not getting a college degree as soon as they reach middle school. High school counselors and staff make it their priority to ensure that students apply to college. Students are conditioned to believe that education is the building block to a successful future. My cultural upbringing did not support my choice to pursue an education, however, I refused to conform to my family’s behavioral expectations because certain norms must be challenged due to progressive time periods and conflicting values.

Kammi Kolanko is my mother and hero. She is 37 years old and works at a school as a substitute teacher in the Norwin Elementary School. She also lives in a house on 1180 Pinewood Road Irwin PA 15642. She helps me with my homework and makes sure I have everything ready for school in the morning each day. She also makes sure I have a good packed lunch for every day in school. She is a person who is an amazingly good and fast cook. She wants us, her kids, to not become selfish. She also wants us to lead productive lives. She hopes we can be kind people when we grow up.

Nine years ago, I never could have imagined I’d be writing this essay. I was a senior in high school, and, like the rest of my classmates, I was apprehensive about the future. Unlike my classmates, I felt like I had missed the proverbial “you need to get your life together” message. I watched my classmates apply to colleges, their majors already decided and their future careers mapped out. While I was an above average student, I felt I lacked the decisiveness my classmates seemed to have. I did not feel passionate about a career or even a field of study. I felt defective. This was compounded by the financial strain I knew attending college would have on my family. It seemed wasteful to try to “find my passion” at school while squandering

Making so many different friends at so many different places helped me understand different people and different ways of thinking and doing so, gave me my second passion -helping others.

These reasons are my motivation and why I am refusing to give up on my goal. By doing this, I can become the person I am meant to be. My actions of today and tomorrow will bring The beginning of the end the start of a new cycle. Lastly, I plan to print this essay and read it at the end of my journey and put it up on the wall of my own business and enjoy it with my cold King Cobra

While living in Vietnam, my family was well off. I did not have to worry about anything except for performing well in school. However, after moving to the US when I was about fifteen, my family struggled financially as my parents had a difficult time finding jobs. Knowing all the struggles that my parents were going through, I tried my very best in school. Moreover, I also helped my parents by taking care of house chores. Instead of staying after school for extracurricular activities, I came home early to take care of my younger sisters, help them with their homework, and make dinner for my family while my parents were off at work or night classes at community college. I started doing a lot of things that I had never imagined I would ever do as a teenager. I saw myself changing slowly, becoming more of a responsible

Through my parents divorce, they moved to different houses. My mom moved in with my grandma and my dad stayed at the old house for a few years. By my mom moving to my grandma’s house I was able to know my family more. This helped me with school also, if I had not been able to go there after school to do my homework, so I might not have fallen behind on homework and also my mom might not been able

After all this life experience was great after all because I learned that I can be outgoing and be confident. I also learned that how to express myself and be myself around people and improve my social skills. Some of my friends from school have told me that being around has actually helped them express themselves more and share their feelings with me. This made me feel good that I can help other the way they helped

During my schooling experience, I had many positive experiences. Some of them would have to be getting female athlete of the year my junior and senior year, getting MVP of the volleyball and basketball team, and graduating with a 4.0 GPA. I would not have been able to accomplish any of this without the support of my family, teachers, friends, and coaches. My family gave me finical support so I could completely focus on my academics. They also encouraged me all the way through. My teachers also wanted what was best for me and they helped me in any way possible. My friends were always there with me through the thick and thin no matter if it was homework stress, or there from me after a rough game. My coaches were supportive in my academic and with my sports. I had some of the most encouraging coaches through my schooling years. Having all these wondering people in my life as a student made me realize how blessed I truly am. It made me want to strive to do better because I knew I was making them proud. I would not have been able to accomplish all that I did without

experience without them, and I really owe a lot to my school career to them always being by my side.

When I was growing up, I remember my family situation as extremely chaotic. I was one of eight children and my father and mother had little time to devote to me individually. Most of the time they spent trying to earn enough to support us with their meager resources. I was often called upon to act as a surrogate mother to my siblings. I felt I had little time to develop my own unique perspective and voice when I was very young. Even as a preschooler I remember doing chores to help out at home. However, this situation did foster some positive aspects of my character. I learned to be mature at an early age and gained a sense of competence because of my responsibilities. But I also was taught put the needs of others second to my own. I feel that I did not learn to value my own, legitimate desires to an adequate degree as a young girl and have only recently acquired a true sense of worth [THESIS].

Throughout my education, I had so many challenges I had to overcome. Dealing with school, personal life, and sports. Dealing with all of these problems has shaped me up as a person. I know now how to work for what I want, nothing is handed to me in life. That is something everyone needs to know, and now I know.

Through our weekly discussion of Adult Development and studying Erik Erickson’s theories of development, allowed me to gain great insight to human development. In our reading Erik points out that “adults seek to accomplish goals that make them feel they have made a difference in the world. This is the payoff stage in which we can use the personality that we’ve developed to achieve our occupational, social and personal goals. We gain a sense of fulfillment from those accomplishments but also seek additional satisfaction through mentoring younger generations.” (Witt & Mossler, 2010, p 9). This is truly where I am in my life right now. Growing up as a child I always dreamed of becoming a doctor one day. As I got older and became a part of numerous debate teams, student government associations groups and community advisory boards, my interest changed to law school. When I became a wife and a mother, I developed the nurturing spirit and I wanted to become a nurse. Looking back at where I was and where I am now I am seeking career satisfaction in my life. I am struggling with generatively versus stagnation. I do not feel I am useful in my career achievement and that is why I am seeking to better my