When my mother asked me to read a book a few months ago, I was hesitant to agree. A stressful school year was approaching, and seeing my friends on a Saturday night seemed much more appealing. When I was younger, curling up with a good book was a typical pastime. Then came high school, and reading was replaced with countless hours of studying, cheer practice, and trying to figure out when I could catch up on some much needed rest.
I chose to break the norm of either smiling at strangers or giving them a neutral look when you make eye contact. I decided to give every stranger I passed a confused look like they had just spoken to me in another language. I must admit, this made me feel a bit goofy. I was on the fence as to whether or not to do this in the first place but I decided I just had to. The responses I received were quite comical. A few people asked if I was alright, and one person even asked if I had a problem with them.
At the age of nine, I watched my uncles lowering my father into the ground and what took his life was addiction. All my life I have watched addiction take over the lives of people, I love. My father's side of the family, besides my grandparents, has always faced addiction. Although, addiction runs through my blood, I will not take the same path I have watched people take all my life. I will be the one to end the cycle. Watching the majority of my family waste their life has motivated me to change the direction and better myself from living a life of addiction and misery.
Life really doesn't like to tell you what's ahead; sometimes it's nice and gives you a little hint, sometimes life replays itself so at least there's some familiarity in it, but most of the time my life seems out of my control. As a fifteen year old many people would hear me say this and scoff saying I don't have 'real' problems, or I don't know what the 'real' world is like. On one hand they're right, I shouldn't know what the 'real' world is like, most fifteen year olds are thinking about what picture they Instagram is a 'real' world problem. But being the not-so-average teenager, I do know what this so called 'real' world is.
There are a lot of things that shape a person, A loss, A gain, or maybe a quest they undertook. Now I’m not talking about a quest to save the world like you might read in books, or watch in a movie. I’m talking about a goal you might strive to achieve or something you want to accomplish to learn more about not only yourself, but the people who surround you or the community you might live in. This is my quest, a quest that took me years to understand, but one that defines me as a person. A quest that showed me how to express my opinions, and to let others do the same.
I believe I was not created equally. When I open my eyes to this strange world I feel an urge to run and hide. I am not safe there is no escape.
Finding a way. The statement, finding a way, was my motto for a very long time in my life and gave me the work ethic that I have today. I was a competitive gymnast from when I was in Kindergarten through seventh grade, this means five hour practices three days a week, along with meets out of state almost every weekend. As you can see from that sentence alone I was very busy, not only did I have gymnastics but I was in honors classes and AIG all throughout my life and had to find a way to make it all work, along with having to succeed in both.
Summer: the season of ice cream, beaches, air-conditioned cinemas, and 30 lb cardboard boxes full of clothes and books. By the fourth quarter of my sophomore year, I could envision the rest of my high school life unfold as if flipping through a scrapbook brimming with photographs and jotted captions. A rising upperclassmen, I had full conviction that by 2018, I would play varsity doubles tennis, attend Naugy Prom, and graduate alongside the 250 people I had known since middle school, some even from kindergarten. Naugatuck, CT had been my home for all 16 years of my life—and despite hopping from apartment to house when I was 5, I couldn’t fathom changing towns, much less before I departed for college.
There is an unseen balance in the universe, one not measurable with charts and graphs or even with the highest tech machines man has to offer. This unseen balance guides my life like a tiny white flame, showing the way through the infinite maze that is life.
It was a warm sunny day in May, and it was almost the end of the school year. Bus 1995 was full of annoying and yelling kids.
When I was younger, I was very confident. (I still am to this day.) I used to speak my mind and tell people what I thought, (It often drove people away.) I used to talk to people about what I saw, What I knew, And teach them too. Until I realized that not everyone wanted to learn
People take many things for granted that they will never even realize. Like kids take for granted how their life is while they are young and assume it will always be that way, or how people thing they will always live in the same house and then are not prepared to move. Never take what you have for granted is something you always tell yourself, but most of the time other things are on your mind over thinking about what you have while you have it. I was one of those people that didn’t realize what they had till it was gone.
There comes a time in everyone’s life when your perspective changes. Regardless on the topic, the event causes you to rethink your previous actions and set yourself straight. In my situation, the big event that caused me to change my perspective was a fight I had with my older sister. Growing up we never got along, mostly because we are complete opposites. Looking back majority of our fights are a blur, because they were so insignificant. However, the fight I am referencing is one I will never forget.
Was he dead or alive? Did the helicopter land safely? What happened to him? I knew that we left on really good terms, but will I truly get to say goodbye. Was this the day that he will leave me. I rushed to get ready to go, to the place that could be the best place to be or the worst, all at the same time. I could smell this place, feel it in the air. It will either be peaceful or the worst place I will ever go. I will know in one hour. I might never see him again, or will I. One hour.
5 years since I moved....Family. Life. Memories. It was a night filled with memories, experiences, and most of all, the word: family. A night where a new life will begin and most of all a night where I was depressed ; a year ‘till I will see my grandparents. I looked into their eyes for the final time, and boarded into the airplane. Everyone was crestfallen about this move; tears coming down their cheeks. I was young, thrilled for a new experience, yet to realize true meaning of family, life, and the real world.