Personal Narrative: Mental Illness

I’ve always been passionate about understanding others; stepping into their shoes and seeing, thinking, and appreciating the lives they live. I think it is important to take that extra step and see things from a different point of view. It is the only way to achieve a true understanding. I believe in this philosophy so much so, that it’s one of the main reasons I have this blog; to give others a glimpse of a life with mental illness. I’ve been in treatment for 2 months and 26 days and I think it’s time for another peek into my brain.

People are taught to “forgive and forget” in order to be happy, afterall living with a grudge can being a serious damper in ones life.

I participated in a lot of religious conferences and seminars. Through my participations in church events, I was mind-blown while listening to others’ testimonies during our monthly gatherings. During one of our sharing sessions which focused on forgiveness, there was a story of how a girl finally opened her heart to forgive her uncle who had sexually abused her. She admitted that it was extremely difficult to let go of her vengeful thoughts, although her uncle was facing his punishment in prison. After deepening her faith and experiencing the love of God, she began visiting her uncle and tried to listen to his apology. Realizing how remorseful he was for what he had done, she finally managed to forgive him with God’s help. From all the testimonies I had heard, all of them experienced freedom psychologically after saying “I forgive you” in front of the people they once hated. Throughout my life, I have never really experienced a strong feeling of hatred, except for the painful experience I had with Stacy. I started rethinking about the importance of forgiveness, as well as my relationship with Stacy. I questioned myself, “How can those people who have worse experiences than mine can forgive their enemies, but not me?” At that point, I was still doubting my ability to forgive

Life has ups and downs, it may stab you in the back, but it’s a choice to forgive and forget about it. Forgiveness is something that helps people move on. For every person, the word forgiveness has a different meaning, for me it means leaving behind actions from my past. Personally, I like to think that forgiveness is a way to start over whether in a friendship or in life. If the opportunity presented itself to me to explain the word, forgiveness, to someone I would simply reply that it is the idea of setting yourself free from all the hate one has been holding.

It’s a struggle to get out of bed sometimes, I often just sit there struggling to comprehend the sequence of events which have taken place over the past year. I mean, I’m used to this now, its normal to me, but the fact that this has happened and that I am now ‘disabled’ as people would put it is hard to get my head around. And every time I look down I’m reminded of the pain and the struggle I faced, it’s a physical scar which links me to my grueling past, a physical and emotional journey.

You have to question whether you are forgiving the person because they are sorry and you are capable of moving forward or you are forgiving them because you are still left with some feeling of attachment and that’s what is holding you back. For example, in the memoir, Jennette continued to forgive her parents particularly because they were her parents and her blood. That got her nowhere. She was left in an endless circle of forgiving yet receiving the same mannerism back. However, once Jeannette decided enough was enough, she moved to New York City, away from her parents, began accomplishing her goals and overall Jeannette became so much more liberated. This example goes to show my point exactly. Forgiving and forgetting will leave you with too many toxic people in your life. You must know when to set an endpoint and cut people out of your life because it will benefit

The challenges are over lapped on top of each other, which is tougher to forgive someone that is so greatly connected to you, but learning that this person will always love you is a thought we should all keep in our minds. In the novel The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls is faced with the daunting challenge of having to forgive her father. Jeannette’s relationship with her father, Rex Walls, is not the finest. As Jeannette grows up she starts to lose faith in her father because of his alcoholism is affecting the family emotional and financially, because most of the time he spends his money on booze. It was hard for Jeannette to realize that she had no love for her father, but still forgive him for his mistakes and find a way to welcome him to her heart. Jeannette forgives her father when she tries to learn how to swim and her father dropped her into the water when she almost drowned. She forgives him and thinks of his purpose of inspiring her to learn. Jeannette thought to herself “I figured he must be right, there was no other way to explain it”. At the end of the story when Jeannette and she father meet for the last time she forgives him for “all the hell raising and destruction and chaos he created in her life”. She says “I could not imagine what my life would have be like- without him in it. As awful as he could be, I always knew he loved me in a way no one else ever had”. Therefore, you

Forgiveness is a voluntary process and only time can heal all wounds. Scratch that- time won’t heal all wounds and forgiving someone is totally and completely up to you. When stating that forgiveness is “voluntary,” it simply means that one is forgiving someone at their own free will. The question is “why? why must we forgive someone after doing something so awful?” The answer might be complex. In the book “Picking Cotton” by Jennifer Thompson-Cannino, Ronald Cotton and Erin Torneo, and in the book “Beauty for Ashes” written by Joyce Meyer, forgiveness is portrayed as a big role. Each person goes through their own struggles and eventually has to forgive someone or be forgiven by someone.

We forgive for our own good, not for the people who have hurt us. We should never be held prisoner by the people who hurt us. That is what happens when we choose to not forgive and choose to hold grudges. Being unforgivable soon turns into bitterness. That bitterness will eat at your heart and soul. Being able to forgive does not by any means imply that we are weak. It is actually showing ourselves and others how strong we are. Do not wait to forgive those who have hurt you. If you wait to forgive until you feel the time is right, it will never happen. Simply because there is no “right time.” Remember, forgiving is not easy and never will it be. Yes, it is easy to say “I forgive you.” The hard part of it all is to genuinely mean it. If you become so wrapped up in holding a grudge, all you see it hurt and anger. You are missing what is important. Such as the present and all the joyful happiness that comes along life. The Holocaust was one of the worst things that has ever happened over time. Yet, some people have managed to forgive the horrible crimes that they endured. In The Fault in Our Stars, Hazel at first had a hard time forgiving Peter Van Hoten for being so rude to her and Augustus. He was her favorite author and he completely let her down by being so rude to her. She was very angry but didn’t hold a grudge against him for

In order to forgive, it’s crucial to recognize the reality of what happened and how you were affected. Accept how you felt and how you reacted. Forgiveness frees you from the addictive adrenaline thoughts of retribution or revenge can generate, as well as the destructive tendency to self-identify as a victim.

“Get over it! Don’t allow bitterness, resentment, and animosity to hold you back. God sees every wrong that has been done unto us. Likewise, He sees every wrong we have done unto others. Stop reliving the negative. We must forgive, in order that we are forgiven. Although we can’t change the past, we can position ourselves for a brighter future. It may be challenging to do, but the beauty it will give your heart is a remarkable feeling of comfort. Forgive and allow God to restore your serenity and flood your life with unspeakable joy.” - Debra S. Clark

To truly forgive someone is to set aside all the differences and damage they once caused, and remember who that person once was and all the great things they had once done. This past winter, I had to do just that. I found out that my mother had an affair and I was devastated. Being the amazing woman she was, I was in shock at what she had done. After several months had passed, for no particular reason, a wave of relief had taken over my mind. I was soon brought to tears as I began to realize that I had forgiven my mother for what she had done. I began to see her as the woman I once knew and loved. Even though she is hundreds of miles away, I can now say our relationship is stronger than ever, all due to my

Forgiveness will change your life for the better. However, forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to forget what has happened completely. What you have to do is forgive, so you can overcome the pain, anger, and sadness you hold from the past.

Make the first decision of forgiveness: admit that you cannot forgive on your own, and ask God to change your heart.

Forgiveness should be a gift which you give yourself. When you feel that forgiveness is necessary, do not forgive for “their” sake.