Personal Narrative: My Living With Schizophrenia

I woke up in my bed at the Stephens Adult Psychiatric Unit in Joplin, Missouri. I had dreamt of being back home the previous night, so it was crushing to wake up and realize where I was. It was my 2nd day there, but it felt like much longer. Most psychiatric units have a similar structure. During the week, there are group activities that preoccupy you enough to make the day somewhat bearable. The weekends are worse, because there is nothing. You can either sleep or watch television in the day room with the other patients. The lack of activity constantly reminds you that you’re trapped. That all of your belongings have been taken away. That you are not allowed to go outside at all during the duration of your stay. That you are virtually entirely isolated from the outside world. The only thing I had to look forward to during those days was the hour of visitation with my parents twice a day. You’d think a psychiatric unit would be the one place on

I’ve always been passionate about understanding others; stepping into their shoes and seeing, thinking, and appreciating the lives they live. I think it is important to take that extra step and see things from a different point of view. It is the only way to achieve a true understanding. I believe in this philosophy so much so, that it’s one of the main reasons I have this blog; to give others a glimpse of a life with mental illness. I’ve been in treatment for 2 months and 26 days and I think it’s time for another peek into my brain.

The depression is overwhelming. I cry uncontrollably. At its worst, I cannot move. Gravity seems to have added weight tenfold. I wake up in my bed, struggling to get out. I am unable to. Breathing hurts. I try to cry out for help, but I cannot move my mouth to form the words in my disgusted mind. I am trapped in my own head. I am trapped in my own body, a body that is entirely numb.

It’s a struggle to get out of bed sometimes, I often just sit there struggling to comprehend the sequence of events which have taken place over the past year. I mean, I’m used to this now, its normal to me, but the fact that this has happened and that I am now ‘disabled’ as people would put it is hard to get my head around. And every time I look down I’m reminded of the pain and the struggle I faced, it’s a physical scar which links me to my grueling past, a physical and emotional journey.

Schizophrenia is a severe mental illness that usually shows up in adolescence or young adulthood but can be seen in children as young as eight years old. It is a long term mental disorder characterized by a faulty perception of reality, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation. It typically involves the breakdown of a person’s relationship between thought, emotion, and behavior. Currently, there are five subtypes of schizophrenia included in the DSM-5; paranoid, disorganized, catatonic, undifferentiated, and residual. Each subtype is characterized by their most prominent symptom. For instance, paranoid schizophrenia is a subtype in which a person experiences

First off I would like to tell you what exactly schizophrenia is. Schizophrenia is a brain disease, with concrete and specific symptoms due to physical and biochemical changes in the brain. This illness strikes young people in their prime age usually between 16 and 25. Schizophrenia is almost always treatable with medication. Contrary to what most think schizophrenia is not a "split personality", or caused by childhood trauma, bad parenting, or poverty, and not the result of any action or personal failure by the individual.(3)

I am Simone Alexander. I have severe schizophrenia, but I take my medications regularly. I have been through a lot. Even in my condition, I still try to help out my community during the rough time I have been through. I care a lot about Hollywood, California, because I was raised here. I am such a high spirited, generous, and kind woman. I have been going through a 5 year hardship relationship with my on and off again boyfriend Lucas also known as Paw-Paw. Last night was horrific. The unthinkable was spoken. I was traumatized.

If you were to see me walking down the street you would never guess that I was in foster care. I dress and act like your everyday 17 year old, and in a way I am. Except I was placed in foster care when I was 15 years old. Scratch that I put myself in foster care when I was 15 years old. I bet you’re asking “why”? “Why would you do such a thing”? Well my mother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia also known as disorganized schizophrenia. Just in case you don't know disorganized schizophrenia is characterized by incoherent and illogical thoughts and behaviors, so when you are 15 that's not a good situation to be in. My mother couldn't keep a job therefore she could not support us.

As the APA has moved from the Fourth Edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) to a reviewed and improved Fifth Edition (DSM-5), the diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia were modified. The five subtypes (paranoid, disorganized, catatonic, undifferentiated, residual) that previous version of DSM employed were excluded for its poor reliability and inability to predict the development and outcome of the disorder. DSM-5 no longer uses the subtypes of schizophrenia but rather focuses on clinical symptoms in the hope that it will help to get better understanding of the etiology of the disorder. It is now required that at least

The voices in my head tell me to do things that seem wrong and make me think that my coworkers are plotting to hurt me. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on changing unhelpful patterns of thinking and behavior (Schizophrenia. n.d.). The therapist teaches people with schizophrenia how to test the reality of their thoughts and perceptions, how to “not listen” to their voices, and how to manage their symptoms overall. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help reduce the severity of symptoms and reduce the risk of relapse (Schizophrenia. n.d.). Other treatments that have been offered are rehabilitation and self-help groups. The rehabilitation helps those who need social and vocational training to communicate with their community. In the self-help groups, members support, comfort each other, and share information on helpful coping strategies and services (Schizophrenia. n.d.). Those two where tried at some point but were not helpful for me. The medications provided have helped stabilize my symptoms more than anything. The medications that I use or switched and changed on dosage often to insure than my body does not become immune to them (S.A. Roberts, Personal Communication,

Beecher (2009) states that a medical model perspective has dominated throughout the mental health practice. The medical model also known as the (biomedical model), impacts the course of treatment available to individuals with schizophrenia (Beecher, 2009). The literature shows that the perception of schizophrenia has commonly been informed from a medical model paradigm (Beresford, 2005; Lightburn, 2005), which views schizophrenia as a disorder of the brain in the central nervous system which can be fixed through pharmacological and physical treatment (Beecher, 2009). The medical model of schizophrenia arose as the reaction to historical notions that individuals with a mental illness were possessed, mad and at fault for their illnesses (Beecher, 2009). The medical model has also been criticized for being too limited and too problem focused and simplistic and not accounting for a person’s external environment (Ashford et al., 2006; Sayce, 2000 as cited by Beecher, 2009). Many individuals exhibit false misconceptions and hold relativity little knowledge about people living with a mental illness (Bell et al. 2006; Mason & Miller 2006). Many of these misconceptions are constructed amongst health care professionals and the

Schizophrenia affects about 2.5 million Americans and 24 million worldwide. However, not everything is known about the mental illness. What part of the brain Schizophrenia affects and the different types of tests used to detect it. What medications have shown the best results, but what are their side effects that may come with? Is it worth the risk? Also what are all the possible ways Schizophrenia can be instigated?

Before my husband died, our daughter, Veronica, was diagnosed with childhood schizophrenia. We brought her to countless specialists and nearly all of them came to the same conclusion. The condition is rare, but certainly not unheard of. We were devastated. The doctors suggested that we not start her on medication right away. They were concerned the chemicals might interfere with the development of her brain. At five years old, when proper brain development is critical, they didn’t want to chance it. Only if the hallucinations became severe would they prescribe antipsychotics.

what to say though. Just say what you feel just as we are doing right now we both can see the therapist. Now I think I can sleep mom goodnight. Goodnight son.

“Junior! stop laughing”,” Junior walk normal”, “junior eat”, “Junior did you wash your clothes?”, “JUNIOR! Don't smoke in the house!” These were many phrases that I heard in my life when my schizophrenic cousin came to live with us. To this day were not entirely sure if he only heard voices, sometimes we think he saw things too. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia in his early twenties and I was around seven years old, I honestly don't remember him ever being sane, but you could see the change in the people around us. His parents wouldn't accept it and refused to buy him medicine because “God had his reasons”, and my cousins (they're quite a bit older than me) never really accepted it and neither did my grandpa but he just shook his head and continued what he was doing. But my mother, she understood, she was a nurse who worked at Life care for a while so she knew how to deal with people who are “different”. So we took him in.