Personal Narrative: My Revisions

Throughout high school, I was the student that had good grades and was involved in many activities, but was extremely quiet. I was scared that nobody would like me when, and if, I decided to be outgoing. However, once I got to college, I decided to face my fears and began to be outgoing with new people. If I could get a ‘do-over’, I would have been more outgoing in high school.

There are a lot of things that shape a person, A loss, A gain, or maybe a quest they undertook. Now I’m not talking about a quest to save the world like you might read in books, or watch in a movie. I’m talking about a goal you might strive to achieve or something you want to accomplish to learn more about not only yourself, but the people who surround you or the community you might live in. This is my quest, a quest that took me years to understand, but one that defines me as a person. A quest that showed me how to express my opinions, and to let others do the same.

Still Have Improvements It has been years since I have had to write a paper, so writing the reflection paper made me nervous. Since having my reflection paper handed back to me, I noticed some skills that I had improved. On the other hand, I also realized I had more skills I need to work on still such as comma splices, using more transitions and the use of better word choices.

A Change of Mind It took me a while searching for an interesting persuasive essay that was interesting and changed my mind on an issue because a lot of the articles were unappealing to me. After searching through pages of articles I went back to do a google search and that’s how I ended up finding the article I picked. “Against Headphones” written by By Virginia Heffernan. The subject of the article was something I never really put much thought into.

Direction. When exploring Northwestern, that was the one word that stood out to me. Here, everyone creates their own path towards a unique future, and that’s exactly the kind of place I need. Because I know my direction, and I know where I’m going.

So far, the actions that I have began to take have only reprocessed with one major

The Changing It was a scorching June day when I rose around 10 o’clock, like any regular teenager would do. I stumbled down the stairs into the living room where my mom would usually be when I woke up, but she was not there. I called her and she would not pick up the phone and that is when I started to get worried. Finally after about 10 minutes of waiting for my mother to call me back, she did and she told me that my grandma had had a stroke and was in the hospital. I could not believe what I was hearing. I’m not a huge emotional person, but I could feel my voice starting to crack so I quickly hung up the phone.

The next day couldn't come fast enough. I woke up extra early that morning to get ready. After I took a shower I put on an army green baggy shirt, my black skinny jeans with a tear in one of the knees and my adidas. I left my hair natural and did light makeup. It was Saturday so I didn't actually have work today, but they said since Justin likes my help so much that they would like me to make sure he gets home safely and that he's fine when he gets there.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when your perspective changes. Regardless on the topic, the event causes you to rethink your previous actions and set yourself straight. In my situation, the big event that caused me to change my perspective was a fight I had with my older sister. Growing up we never got along, mostly because we are complete opposites. Looking back majority of our fights are a blur, because they were so insignificant. However, the fight I am referencing is one I will never forget.

When I was ten and I lived in Mesquite my mom asked me if I wanted to run five miles in Dallas, and I said "sure it sounds fun". The next morning I got up at eight o'clock and my mom said it was at eleven so we left at ten. If you watch the Dallas news and saw the big letters in the courtyard, that’s where it started. There was a total of 532 people at the place I can remember because everyone got a paper wristband and a number was put in on a computer for every person and it showed up on a big screen.It was around ten forty five at the time.When it turned eleven an anouncer said to start. The entire walk was five miles it was 2.5 to the end and back. My mom pushed my little brother for most of it he got out at the half way point.When we got

Chapter One It was 9o degrees in California as my mother was driving  me to the airport, I felt a wave of cold air. Then i saw a boy in the backseat of my moms car. I jumped, He looked about my age with blonde hair, blue eyes, tan skin, a plaid jacket, and the most beautiful smile you could ever see. I turned my head for a second and he was GONE.I didn’t know what it was so I tried to put it out of my head. My mom was asking me what's wrong and I said nothing because I knew if I told her she would freak out and ask me a whole bunch of questions. I got out of the car and went into the airport I saw a whole bunch of people. But they looked weird they had blood dripping out of their eyes and their clothes were ripped. I couldn't believe

Entry One- This is the first entry to my new journal I have begun. As my memory continues to deteriorate, one of the nurses at the senior home suggested that I write all my thoughts and events from the day down. Then if I forget about what happened the previous day I can read my journal and know what had happened.

I did not make any changes to my actual class schedule, rather I changed and added things to my extracurricular activities to improve my resume and personal statement.

For my Personal Essay, I made many revisions to my mistakes. The biggest mistake, was not having the paragraphs in chronological order. This made the reader extremely confused on how things happened in order. So, I changed the paragraphs around as well as my thesis statement. After I did that, the clarity and organization improved tremendously throughout the paper. I noticed that I had a lot of incomplete sentences missing the who of what was happening, so I added those. I seem to have issues on where to place commas correctly. If I study proper punctuation it will help my growth as a writer. My sentence structure is a bit confusing at times so rearranging words is the best solution to that. When sharing an intense experience, my mind goes faster than my fingers type and words end up missing so having multiple proofreaders is efficient for catching those mistakes. By paying attention to all these errors, I will flourish in my writing skills.

Growing up, I was unaware of the modifications taking place in my own world that molded my adolescence and established the way I behave, think, and undergo the process of preceding with the analyzation and execution of each idea I am faced with in any current day situation. As much as I would have desired to be apart of a family with two happily married parents with two children in a pretty house in a pretty upper middle class neighborhood that goes to a pretty church every sunday morning and has a pretty homemade dinner every night with every member of the family in attendance; I would not choose that life. I don’t have a desire to withhold the same mindset, goals, and future of my peers I grew up with. Each individual event I have had to