Personal Narrative: My Revisions

Throughout my childhood I could never say I had the most exciting life, even now I can still say that about my daily routine. Although my family put effort into nurturing me into a well-rounded member of society since youth, I never felt any change or progress personally; it was more as if I simply adapted to whatever expectations my elders had of me. I know this feeling did not apply to me only, in fact, I was once in a classroom full of fifty-two people who accommodated to whatever came their way.

5. What is not a part of your paper that you think might help a reader understand or appreciate it more? What did you not put in?

I unzipped my coat as I stepped into the warm basement. I crinkle my nose as the bitter smell of alcohol hits it. I feel like I should be used to it by now, I go to concerts at least once a month. We walk over to the small table overflowing with merchandise. It’s a tradition to by the opening bands CD.

It has been years since I have had to write a paper, so writing the reflection paper made me nervous. Since having my reflection paper handed back to me, I noticed some skills that I had improved. On the other hand, I also realized I had more skills I need to work on still such as comma splices, using more transitions and the use of better word choices.

I too did not reread my work at some point in my life, that was due to my lack of grammatical clarity. Granted everyone goes to school. But something’s stick and other things slips through the cracks. I was able to get through math with no problem. However, having to write and reread my paper and correct my errors was hard for me. When I would go back to read it. I had run-on sentence and a ton of I, am, me, you as if I did not know who I was talking about. Using transition words adds some flare to the writing and the story that is

Throughout high school, I was the student that had good grades and was involved in many activities, but was extremely quiet. I was scared that nobody would like me when, and if, I decided to be outgoing. However, once I got to college, I decided to face my fears and began to be outgoing with new people. If I could get a ‘do-over’, I would have been more outgoing in high school.

My warm up exercises consisted of going out on the balcony and, then, listening to the music while walking in my room. I intended to write a poem today and I decided to use this technique to set up my mind for creative writing. I found that music really helped my to do that, especially, after experiencing in class exercise, during which we listened to music and then wrote a poem. I am trying to vary my warm up technique to because I want to explore what works best for me and what doesn’t or does much less.

So far, the actions that I have began to take have only reprocessed with one major

Like layers of an oil painting, the more layers and revisions in a piece of writing, the more a piece glows from within. Thus, the practice of effectively revising drafts was the primary focus for my English class this semester. Though I have always incorporated drafts into my essays, it wasn't until my college English 1101 class did my papers begin to shine as a result of them. Our professor showed us that, more often than not, the strongest pieces always included revisions that were much lengthier than the actual writing, not because the first drafts were “bad”, but because writing can always be improved upon. Because she placed so much emphasis on revision, our professor gave us two weeks for multiple drafts before we turned in our final

For my Personal Essay, I made many revisions to my mistakes. The biggest mistake, was not having the paragraphs in chronological order. This made the reader extremely confused on how things happened in order. So, I changed the paragraphs around as well as my thesis statement. After I did that, the clarity and organization improved tremendously throughout the paper. I noticed that I had a lot of incomplete sentences missing the who of what was happening, so I added those. I seem to have issues on where to place commas correctly. If I study proper punctuation it will help my growth as a writer. My sentence structure is a bit confusing at times so rearranging words is the best solution to that. When sharing an intense experience, my mind goes faster than my fingers type and words end up missing so having multiple proofreaders is efficient for catching those mistakes. By paying attention to all these errors, I will flourish in my writing skills.

My sister, Amanda, and I used to be very close. After all, we got through some of the hardest times like when our dad died. We were like two trees planted together three years apart that got attached by their roots. We shared some of the best memories: she let me sleep over when she had her friends sleeping with her and I would play games everyday, last but not least, we shared a room together. Her and I were always crazy together, we just became carefree when we were outside together and made up some crazy games we would play for endless hours. I remember that one of the games we would play together is one of us would be the lion and one of us would be the antelope. We would chase each other around our front yards for hours.

It was 9o degrees in California as my mother was driving  me to the airport, I felt a wave of cold air. Then i saw a boy in the backseat of my moms car. I jumped, He looked about my age with blonde hair, blue eyes, tan skin, a plaid jacket, and the most beautiful smile you could ever see. I turned my head for a second and he was GONE.I didn’t know what it was so I tried to put it out of my head. My mom was asking me what's wrong and I said nothing because I knew if I told her she would freak out and ask me a whole bunch of questions. I got out of the car and went into the airport I saw a whole bunch of people. But they looked weird they had blood dripping out of their eyes and their clothes were ripped. I couldn't believe

I did not make any changes to my actual class schedule, rather I changed and added things to my extracurricular activities to improve my resume and personal statement.

It was really hard to stay relaxed the next day. I’d get looks from Alex because he knew something was up. If Rhonda was suspicious, she didn’t show it. The second class bell rang and I headed to the front of the school where I paced until my mom arrived.

When I was ten and I lived in Mesquite my mom asked me if I wanted to run five miles in Dallas, and I said "sure it sounds fun". The next morning I got up at eight o'clock and my mom said it was at eleven so we left at ten. If you watch the Dallas news and saw the big letters in the courtyard, that’s where it started. There was a total of 532 people at the place I can remember because everyone got a paper wristband and a number was put in on a computer for every person and it showed up on a big screen.It was around ten forty five at the time.When it turned eleven an anouncer said to start. The entire walk was five miles it was 2.5 to the end and back. My mom pushed my little brother for most of it he got out at the half way point.When we got