Personal Narrative: My Virtual Child

John Bowlby’s work in attachment has been the foundation when determining the attcahments and bonds that a child and parent may experience (Webb, 2011). According to Bowlby, “attachment” is referring to a lasting, mutual bond of affection that is dependent on an individual or more than one person (Webb, 2011). Establishing a secure attachment during infancy and early childhood is an important task of a parent or a caregiver. Not all parents or caregivers can provide their child with a secure attachment at this important in life due to various reasons. Since parents are the main providers in their child’s development of attachment, their lives and history has a great influence on their children’s lives.

Psychoanalyst, John Bowlby in the mid 19th hundreds, investigated attachment theory. Over the years, we have enhanced our understanding on how children attach to their primary caregiver earlier in life. Supported by attachment theory, infants have a window for the development of attachment to the primary caregiver, which, usually happens during the first months of life (Hardy, 2007). Given that Alexander’s parents’ left when he was only 3 months and was raised by his grandparents, it is no surprise that when he reunited with his parents, they felt like complete strangers to him, because they were not the ones meeting his needs early in life.

A healthy or secure attachment develops over time because of a caregiver’s consistent, sensitive care that they have towards a young child. Each time a caregiver interacts in ways that focus fully on the individual child, it furthers connections. When a caregiver attempts to read a baby’s cues and tries to respond to the child’s needs and wishes, the baby learns the caregiver is a source of comfort and security. Children with secure attachments learn that their world is a safe place because the people in it are caring and understanding. They also learn that their ways of communicating result in others responding and understanding them. This reinforces their efforts to continue to express themselves to others. Consistent back-and-forth exchanges that happen over time are one of the ways to build positive relationships. Children with secure attachments feel confident in exploring their environment, which allows them to learn. It’s the accumulation of intimacy during these numerous interactions that turns ordinary tasks into a relationship-based curriculum.

Infant attachment is the first relationship a child experiences and is crucial to the child’s survival (BOOK). A mother’s response to her child will yield either a secure bond or insecurity with the infant. Parents who respond “more sensitively and responsively to the child’s distress” establish a secure bond faster than “parents of insecure children”. (Attachment and Emotion, page 475) The quality of the attachment has “profound implications for the child’s feelings of security and capacity to form trusting relationships” (Book). Simply stated, a positive early attachment will likely yield positive physical, socio-emotional, and cognitive development for the child. (BOOK)

My Virtual Child experience: I was in labor for 8 hours and my son was going into distress. I had an emergency C-section but after 10 minutes I delivered a healthy boy. His Apgar score was great and I was able to bond with him. I named him Phil because I enjoy the Rugrats cartoon. He does not look nothing like me or dad, he is light brown and bald.

John Bowlby’s work in attachment has been one of the foundational works when determining the level of attachments and bonds that a child and parent may experience (Webb, 2011). According to Bowlby, “attachment” is referring to a lasting, mutual bond of affection that is dependent on an individual or more than one person (Webb, 2011). Establishing a secure attachment during infancy and early childhood is an important task of a parent or a caregiver. Not all parents or caregivers can provide their child or children with a secure attachment at this important in life due to various reasons. Since parents are the main providers in their child’s development of attachment, their lives and history have a great influence on their children’s lives.

Raising a virtual child has made me aware of how critical the choices parents make for their child are to their maturity. By paying close attention to the minor details of my virtual child’s behavior, I have started to grasp the understanding of an infant’s physical, cognitive, and social development. Every decision I made for Rosie has gradually helped shape her personality. Although some mistakes were made, my judgments were based off of my own thoughts as well as the nature of American culture.

My Virtual Child fits into Thomas & Chess’s easy temperament style. The description of an easy child is that they quickly establish a regular routines in infancy, and are generally cheerful, and adapt to new experiences. She is rarely fussy or irritable, and smiles constantly. Violet does not have trouble interacting with new people. She is comfortable being in new environments. When our family goes on family outings and there is a change in schedule, Violet has little to no trouble going with the flow and adjusting. On a normal day, she follows her set schedule.

The formation of secure attachments with the primary caregiver is thought to be of great significance by John Bowlby, who believed that the infant was completely reliant on the caregiver to care and provide for them (as cited in Psychology, Martin, Carlson & Buskist). Those children with sensitive caregivers would grow up to be more confident and developed in all aspects of life, for example forming relationships in later life. Those with unresponsive caregivers would see the world as unpredictable and unreliable. Nelson (1996) claimed that the bond between the primary caregiver and child is extremely important in how an infant sees the world around them (as cited in Attachment from infancy to childhood). Yet, attachments, in this case insecure ones, are not the only reason as to why we develop into the individuals we are. There are other causes that are unrelated to attachment that explain our later development.

The secure attachment bond is the emotional relationship between an infant and primary care giver, defined by emotional responses to the baby 's cues, as communicated through movements, signs, and sounds. The achievement of relationships enable children to feel secure enough to progress fully in their life, and affects how he or she will interact, connect, and form relationships during life. A secure attachment bond teaches babies to trust, to communicate their feelings, and eventually to trust others as well. As babies and their primary care giver connect with one another, the baby learns how to have a healthy sense of self and how to be in a loving relationship. When babies develop a secure attachment bond, develop satisfying intimate relationship, they maintain emotional balance; they feel confident and good about themselves, they enjoy the company of others; recover from disappointment and loss, they also share their feelings and seek support (Segal, 2014).

This case study will demonstrate the relationship between Candace and Ricky and their mother as she is introduced daycare into their lives. How will they make the transition from being at home all day to being out of the house for much of the day? Secure Attachment theory is the psychological model that describes the dynamics of short-term and long-term interpersonal relationships between humans. One of the most important aspects of the secure attachment is the bond that infant forms with at least one primary caregiver, this is usually the mother. This bond is necessary for their social and emotional development, and for learning how to effectively regulate their feelings. Transitioning from being with their mother all day to her leaving

Mary Ainsworth (1979) conducted a study into attachment types which helps supports Bowlby`s ideas and provides a more concrete way in which to describe positive and negative experiences with monotropic relationships. Her findings showed that securely attached infant would have experienced a sensitive and supportive caregiver, whereas an insecure- avoidant infant would have experienced a caregiver who is less affectionate to them, thirdly an insecure – resistant infant would have experienced a caregiver who is inconsistent with their care (Ainsworth, 1979).

The concept of infant-mother attachment is as important to the child as the birth itself. The effect this relationship has on a child shall affect that child for its entire life. A secure attachment to the mother or a primary caregiver is imperative for a child’s development. Ainsworth’s study shows that a mother is responsive to her infant’s behavioral cues which will develop into a strong infant-mother attachment. This will result in a child who can easily, without stress, be separated from his mother and without any anxiety. Of course the study shows a child with a weak infant-mother relationship will lead to mistrust, anxiety, and will never really be that close with the mother. Without the

An infant with a secure attachment style has a natural bond with their parent, where they are able to trust them, at the same time leaving their side to discover and explore their surroundings. In an insecure/resistant attachment the relationship the child has with their mother or caregiver is very clingy, thus making them very upset once the caregiver is away. When the mother or caregiver is back they are not easily comforted and resist their effort in comforting them. In an insecure/avoidant attachment the infant is, “indifferent and seems to avoid the mother, they are as easily comforted by a stranger, as by their parent” (Siegler 2011, p.429). Lastly, the disorganized/disoriented attachment is another insecure attachment style in which the infant has no way of coping with stress making their behavior confusing or contradictory. Through these brief descriptions of the attachment theory, many researchers have defined the turning point in which each attachment definition can have an influence on one’s self esteem, well-being and their marital relationship.

By responding with care and comfort, this enables for an “attachment bond” to form between the infant and caregiver, most commonly the mother (White et al., 2013). Following on from Bowlby’s theory, Mary Ainsworth investigated the theory of attachment through observing the reactions of infants when their mothers left them alone with strangers. The investigation was named as the “Ainsworth’s strange situation assessment” (White et al., 2013). It was discovered through this investigation that infants who had secure attachments with their mothers were upset when separated and were easily soothed when the mother returns. This investigation implies that infants with secure attachment to their mothers show signs of normal social development.