Personal Narrative: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

On days I was unable to pull myself out of bed, I would read Furiously Happy while under my covers, staring at the ceiling and dealing with the many voices that kept clawing and breaking each layer down that built a fortress of self-doubt and underwater volcanos of self-loathing. Many people do not understand these feelings that blossomed inside, and therefore bring their own selective perspectives about mental illness devaluing my human in brain experiences. Explaining to them proved to be harder.

Anyone with a mental illness knows that recovery is not a straight line. Thoughts don’t regain their rationality the second someone decides to become medication compliant, when an anorexic takes a bite of food, or even the day a depressed person decides to walk outside and see beyond their dreary perception of reality. I always wanted to get better, to be able to eat a slice of pizza without demolishing the box and punishing my throat, or to be able to not worry that the carnal impulses of mania would throw me out of the driver’s seat. However, I didn’t want to take the steps to seek help in time, then in the second semester of my sophomore year, I gave up. This led to me

Entering the taboo world of mental illness, stigmatized as the crazy and psychotic by decades of

The subject of my case study is a 29-year old man named Eric Miller, self-described as an “unintentional survivor” Eric suffered with drug addiction and mental health issues throughout most of his life. At the age of 19 he was diagnosed as schizoaffective, a terrifying disorder that combines the hallucinations of schizophrenia and the mood disorders of bipolar disorder. His mental health diagnosis was later changed when he entered rehab for his alcohol and drug dependencies in 2010 when he was reclassified as bipolar affective mixed. His new diagnosis was now a lifelong illness that combined the mania and depression of bipolar disorder at the same time, creating uncontrollable thoughts of suicide and chronic intense insomnia. Having spent most of his teenage years unaware of his condition Eric had a relatively normal (but still tumultuous) childhood with a loving two parent family. When he was 17 his parents separated and later

The client, Bill, experiences great levels of concern for the safety of his wife and young daughter. He describes his concerns as random, recurrent thoughts of dangerous events falling upon his family. As a result of these frequent thoughts of danger, Bill calls home every hour to check on his family. These thoughts and behaviors have been present for years. Bill' concerns have since escalated after his wife had an automobile accident. His constant telephoning home has led to the loss of one of his jobs. His wife has threatened to leave him and has pushed for him to seek help from a psychiatric facility.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, also known as OCD, is a psychiatric anxiety disorder that is characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts along with repetitive behaviors. These unwanted thoughts are called obsessions and the repetitive behaviors are called compulsions. Repetitive behaviors such as hand washing, checking, counting, and cleaning are usually performed with the hope of making these obsessive thoughts go away or even preventing them. These repetitive behaviors are often referred to as ‘rituals’. People with OCD perform these rituals to help deal with the anxiety that the obsessions cause. These rituals only provide temporary relief for the person and usually end up controlling their life. About one in every fifty adults have

Well, I would have to say you’re doing good job of hiding it because I don’t think anyone else knows besides me, and you have my word I won’t tell anyone. Can I ask you about it or is that a no zone? How are you feeling tonight? The reason why I told you about me is because that was the first time in a long time that I had a full-blown PTSD problem come up and I felt I needed to explain myself because I directed my anger out on you and I don’t want you think, I am someone who I am not. That day I hit a low point that came with consequences, but I believe I brushed myself off and moved past it for now.

Have you ever gotten so furious before you felt like nothing mattered? They just kept on doing something to you and you just kept on getting mad.Then someone tried to talk to you and you just weren't in the mood to be talked to or bothered . You reacted in a horrible way by hitting and yelling. Well that's exactly what I'm writing to tell you about. How my anger got a hold of me and would not let me go. How I wanted waffles but my mom gave me something else instead.

I have always struggled with anxiety. It has always been an issue, even since elementary school. In some ways it has aided me, such as forming me into a great student. I often thought that nothing would be worse than turning in an unfinished or late assignment, so therefore I made sure they were done at least a few days in advance, if not a week. In others, it has been very harmful, like getting sick with worry. I actually got pneumonia from final exams sophomore year (and bronchitis freshman year). After that, I resolved to more or less force myself into not worrying. By now, I thought I was pretty successful - I actually didn’t do this paper a in advance. That’s right, I was typing this on Thursday. Then I started keeping a dream journal,

I do not think most people understand how much I would sacrifice to live the life of someone else. No, it’s not because I live a life of poverty or have terminal cancer. It’s something far deeper, lurking beneath what I care to show the world. Still, it’s a thought that floats around my mind every second of every day, like a fly’s constant buzz as it scours the room for its next victim. I know for a fact that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Though it may sound silly, my hundreds of Google searches on the subject have told me otherwise. The clinical definition of this apparent mental health condition is “an anxiety disorder characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts and/or repetitive behaviors”. From experience, those who have never been exposed to this kind of mindset view OCD as some sort of joke. “After all,” they say, “who is dumb enough to check a lock a million times?”

I was officially diagnosed with Clinical Depression as well as Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder in August of 2015. Now I realize my spiral downward began at a young age when tension built-in my household. When I was eight, my father left his lucrative job to pursue his dream of teaching. However brave and inspiring, he was soon laid off during the economic downturn. As money became tight, my mother worked three jobs to pay the bills. We lived under fear of imminent foreclosure, often packing up our belongings in anticipation for a quick departure.

Here in the United Kingdom current estimates suggest that 1.2% of the population will have OCD, which equates to 12 out of every 1000 people, and based on the current estimates for the UK population, these statistics mean that potentially, approximately 741,504 people are living with OCD at any one time . The individual will experience negative and unwanted thoughts which they then believe, this causes a level of anxiety to the individual3. People who suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder often come to the realisation that their obsessional thoughts are of an irrational nature, believing that the only way to relieve the anxiety it causes them is to perform compulsive behaviours. This mentality derives from the idea that they are preventing themselves or loved ones from harm. This is based on one of the core features of OCD, which is an overinflated sense of responsibility for harm or its prevention. Responsibility is defined as: ‘The belief that one has power that is pivotal to bring about or prevent subjectively crucial negative outcomes’1 Meaning that the individual believes it is their responsibility to stop any perceived harm from happening- and if it does, then it their own

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a cyclical mental health condition which involves unending obsessions paired with unsatisfying compulsions performed to attempt to alleviate the emotional and physical suffering generated by the obsessions. There are approximately five main clusters of OCD; checkers, doubters and sinners, counters and arrangers, hoarders, and washers and cleaners. Accounting for about one quarter of OCD sufferers, the most abundant category is washers and cleaners and serves as the focus of this paper. OCD’s severity ranges from minor effects on a person’s life to completely debilitating. If your case is severe enough, it will affect your job, personal relationship, friendships, and normal functioning in a profoundly

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) affects up to 2.1% of adults and features pervasive and intrusive thoughts that lead to repetitive uncontrollable behaviors aimed to reduce anxiety (APA, 2000). Further, these thoughts and behaviors impede and disrupt daily living and cause marked distress in the lives of the sufferer. The recurrent thoughts often center on fear of contamination, harming self or others, and illness (Himle, Chatters, Taylor, and Nguyen, 2011). Those who experience the compulsive behaviors associated with OCD report feeling as though they cannot stop or control the urge to perform the compulsive behavior and that the urge is alien or from outside conscious control. Behaviors often involve

“Wake up!” I became vaguely aware of the presence of a voice calling my name. “Jeff, hurry up! I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for ages now!” I realized it was my best friend, Burt. A feeling of exhaustion washed through my branches. Another year of standing frozen in one place, slowly digesting the rich nutrients hidden inside the soil. Another year as a tree.