Personal Narrative On The Catcher In The Rye

One of the hardships Holden must cope with is his inability to come to terms with death, in particular that of his younger brother, Allie. Holden seems to have experienced a

Teenagers often struggles with school due to the difficulty to get good grades and interact with teachers and other students. Holden is at Mr. Spencer’s house because Mr. Spencer wants to

Holden’s deep depression arose from Allie’s death, and at Holden’s lowest moments, he starts to think about Allie. His depression started when Holden “broke all the goddamn windows with [his] fist” (39). Holden is unable to properly grieve for his brother leaving him in bitter depression with the lingering memories of Allie to bring him comfort. At the park, Holden’s contemplation on his own death leads him back to thoughts about Allie at the cemetery. Holden recalls the feeling of guilt he felt when he had to leave Allie at the cemetery so eventually he stopped going. Allie brings Holden back to reality at the park making him go see Phoebe and eventually Allie’s death reminds Holden of why he can’t leave Phoebe. The pain Holden constantly feels because of Allie’s death drags him deeper into depression, but also gives him some comfort in his toughest times. Holden’s contrast of emotions about Allie portrays his inability to stop thinking about Allie and to accept that Allie is gone.

He does not have many friends because he chooses not to make any. He also has a total lack of interest for his studies and for his school. Holden feels that school work is unnecessary and he doesn’t even try to succeed. In the beginning of our session, Holden mentions his old teacher Mr. Spencer. He then talks about a letter he wrote to Mr. Spencer and it said, “It is alright with me if you flunk me though as I am flunking everything else except English anyway. Respectfully yours, Holden Caulfield (The Catcher in the Rye).” From that point, I can already observe that he doesn’t care about any of his studies. In addition to this, Holden doesn’t seem to want to grow up. The fact that he’s failing every school he attends, drinks underage, and rebelling against every grown up, shows this detachment. Everyone just wants Holden to grow up and live a decent adult

Holden Caulfield encounters himself facing issues of acceptance of death, growing up, and parental neglecting that prevents him from completely understanding why it is that he is severely depressed. One of the hardships Holden must cope with is his inability to come to terms with death, of his younger brother, Allie. We often discover

There was a party that Saturday. I needed to go to the library to get a head on homework before I went out. I turned the corner as he turned the corner. I stumbled backwards, he caught my elbow, and before I knew it, I was falling for him, I guess. He said he'd be at the party and hoped to see me there. I just smiled my shy smile, said something silly, I'm sure, and continued on my way. Did he notice the blemish on my forehead? I don't know. I never asked.

Holden’s school life is one of the pieces of evidence of his negative feelings towards society. He has attended numerous schools such as Elkton Hills, Pencey Prep, and Whooton. In addition, he has been kicked out of the schools, failed almost all of his classes during his time at Pencey

I don't know what came over the lunatic next. He tried to clock me, but ended up brushing against my head. He couldn't even throw a proper punch. I acted quickly before he could recover and had the ninny on the floor in a few seconds. "What the hell's the matter with you?" I said. He was almost crying now, Holden Caulfield, and yelled at me to get off of him. Fat chance. He was going crazy; I wasn't about to get off of him anytime soon. Then he started to call me a sonuvabitch and a moron and spat out a bunch of other crazy things only he would care about. I was irritated as hell now, and seeing red. "Shut up, now Holden." I demanded in an angry voice. Not that it did much good.

Holden told me to how he reacted after the death, “I slept in the garage the night he died, and I broke all the goddamn windows with my fist, just for the hell of it.” (pg. 21 pdf) He was 13 when this death occurred and he mentioned that his parents were going to get him psychoanalyzed because of what he did. After breaking all the windows in the garage, he tried to break the windows on the station wagon with his already broken hand. This shows how sad and down he got about his brother Allie dying. Everything in life was going well for Holden, family wise, and then a death happened to someone who Holden enjoyed a lot. Another girl Holden talked about in our session is Sally Hayes. The night before Holden makes a date with Sally, he has a prostitute named Sally come to his room. He just left Pencey, so to me, this is his way of letting out some sadness and anger. Holden says he didn’t do anything with her because he wasn’t in the mood anymore. This shows that some depression is coming into his activity level. Holden told me about what him and Sally did on their date. They first went to a show called The Lunts. During the show, Holden said Sally saw a boy she knew named George and he went to Andover. “I sort of hated ofl Sally by the time we got in the cab, after listening to that phony Andover Bastard for about ten hours.” (pg. 69 pdf) Holden told me. He went on to say that they went ice skating at Radio City. After ice skating, Holden explains how he wanted to run away with Sally. She kept saying no because they were still children. He told me that he told her “You give me a royal pain in the ass, if you want to know the truth.” (pg. 72 pdf) At this point, both of them hated each other. Holden said he apologized over and over to her but he ended up just leaving her at the rink. This shows how he can’t keep their relationship in a good place and his mood changed out

When asked what Holden’s demeanor is, most would say cocky, confident, and close-minded. However, when Holden starts to talk about an old friend and minor character Jane Gallagher, his feelings and attitude change entirely. His tough exterior expeditiously melts into a sensitive side that is rarely seen. In most instances when discussing girls, Holden has something negative to say. Despite that, while in a club in New York, he comes across three girls who interest him. Suddenly, his thoughts about them change when he says, “They started giggling some more, I’m not kidding, they were three real morons” (Salinger 70). Although he is interested in talking to them, Holden is pessimistic about them and their behaviors. Nonetheless, when Jane Gallagher is brought up, Holden transforms into a different person. He becomes very invested in his descriptions of her and her good qualities. “You never even worried, with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not, All you knew was, you were happy. You really were” (Salinger 79). Throughout his course of discussing her, he doesn’t mention a single negative word about Jane. Even when talking about how his hand gets sweaty when holding hers, he also mentions that this doesn’t matter, and he is happy with her no matter what. In the movie ‘Stand By Me’, this same event happens with the Gordie, Chris, Teddy and Vern. These four boys are on a search to find the dead body of Ray Brower, who is believed to be hit by a train. Throughout the movie, their main concern is finding the body and proving to the town how tough and brave they are for finding him on their own. However, when they see the body, a wave of guilt floods over them. They feel bad that this tragic event happened to Ray. In fact, they don’t do not take the ownership of finding his body, and instead anonymously call the police. In both The Catcher in the Rye and Stand By Me, the situations with subtle, minor characters bring out

Holden never going to Allie’s funeral gives us insight into why Holden is still holding onto Allie. After Allie’s death, Holden still went through experiences that caused his BPD, neglect and separation. During the time following Allie’s death, Holden’s family was in great grieving, making Holden feel isolated and not getting the attention he needed to fully grow mentally as a child (“National Allegiance on Mental Health”). Holden also expresses twice, that his mother is still grieving over Allie’s death by stating his mother, “still isn’t over my brother Allie yet” (Salinger 155). Holden is also never close to anyone. He meets with his family a limited amount of time throughout the year, and is kicked out of schools, giving him no permanent guidance in his life. Holden constantly describes his expulsion as, getting “the ax” (107). He shows a continuous changing in guardians, because of his attachment to both Mr. Spencer and Mr. Antolini, both old school teachers from schools he flunked out of. He also dealt with the separation from D.B. his other brother, who moved to Hollywood, Holden seems to be very inspired by him throughout the novel, but is mad that he left (1).

Holden’s connection with his little brother Allie was very special to him. This is evident in the way he talks about Allie. He holds Allie up to these great expectations, saying “You’d have liked him” (Salinger, 1945-6, p.33) and convincing you how great he was and how intelligent and special he was. You are now able to connect and sympathise for Holden, because he has told you all about the things that mean most to him, and you can’t help but feel a little sorry for him.

I watched a myriad of emotions show on his face and I lost my confidence. Instead of saying what I wanted to say, I just wrapped my arms around him and kissed him, hoping that I could show him what I felt instead saying it. I’m not sure if he got the full message, but he seemed pleased with the delivery method.

Several years ago I was working as a stage manager for a theater production in New York City. A group of us went out to a restaurant after the show. Afterwards, I drove a few people home. One by one I dropped each person off until only one passenger was left. He was a member of the cast who had a bit too much to drink at the restaurant. I pulled the car over in front of his apartment building and announced it was his stop. Instead of opening the door and leaving, he sat there for a moment and then asked me for a kiss. He did not get physical, he just sat there,

“She was the only one, outside my family, that I ever showed Allie’s baseball mitt to, with all the poems written on it…I told her quite a lot about him” (101). Holden felt a rare connection and trust towards Jane. He remembers good memories with her to help ease the pain of losing her. Consequently, his pain catches up to him when Stradlater and Jane go on a date. “’If you didn’t go to New York, where’d ya go with her?’ I asked him, after a little while. I could hardly keep my voice from shaking all over the place. Boy was I getting nervous. I just had a feeling something had gone funny” (55). All the pain Holden has kept within seems to burst out. He starts to feel nervous and jealous and this contributes to his negative attitude. We see here that Holden truly cares for Jane and this hints that he has feelings for her. He is in a lot of pain due to losing his close friendship with Jane. Holden feels repentant yet reminiscent of the memories he once had with Jane.