Personal Narrative: Passing Out

We drew apart, and I slowly climbed into my gray Maxima. She did not cry, but who knows what happened when I turned the corner. I don 't think I want to know.

I lay back down, glad that I had given her the anklet. I can’t believe how much she will miss me, even though we haven’t been that close lately, I thought as I drifted to sleep. I will really miss her, too.

And despite how badly I want her back, back in the safety of my arms, there is nothing that can be done to change what has happened. My heart mourns over the grief of her passing. Oh, the pain, it causes me unbearable pain, but I oddly seem to like it. It reassures me that our love is true, that our love is strong and eternal. As peculiar as it may sound, I hope that the agonizing pain will never ease as the time passes by, I hope that my heart will continue to ache, validating that my love for her is still remains, treasured in my heart, till the day we reunite, embrace and rekindle our love for each other. Till the day we reunite in the afterlife, where our love will continue to grow

Reaching across the center console of my car, I imagined the commute that I had into school. My 1992 Jeep Cherokee courageously braved the snowstorm of the year, with only one functional windshield wiper and a forlorn four wheel drive system. As I turned onto the Merritt Parkway, a Honda Civic swerved past me and proceeded to weave in and out of the afternoon traffic. Fast-forward sixty seconds and that Honda was now engulfed by the powder white trees which bound the highway. Instinctively, I pulled up behind the crash site, dialing 911 as I ran over to the mangled wreck. I peered into the car, my pupils the size of marbles, and the driver seemed uninjured; regardless, I proceeded to reassure the driver that Emergency Medical Technician’s/Paramedic’s

She introduces herself as Dr. Vanessa and just when I think that I'm in heaven a young Asian girl in her early twenties she has a face of innocence. The girl was about 5 and a half feet tall wear tight pink scrubs and she had her hair gathered up into a ponytail. Dr. Vanessa kindly explained that she has taken a young medical student under her wing, then she asks if her intern may stay to observe and practice. In the back of my mind I have the vilest thoughts but a gather my composure and give her permission. Dr Vanessa steps out to allow her intern to take my vitals. I awkwardly begin to strike up a conversation while she is taking my vitals I learn that her name is bekka and she has been in med schools for one year. I figure that I have nothing to lose so I tell her a crude joke and to ,y surprise she loses her composure and abruptly laughs but, before I can react she returns to her serious persona. Bekka opens the drawer and removes a thermometer and some KY jelly. nearly smilling she asks me"have you ever had ur temperature taken rectally." I have a face of pure shock point at my genitals and she responds with a nod. The next thing I hear bekkha snapping one a

And then she turned to me. I felt special that she had saved me for last. I smiled at her, and she did the same to me. We had grown inseparable over the past few years especially, but now it was time to say goodbye. I knew at that point that nothing at all would change, that we would still be sisters, still be best friends, still be inseparable. Who cares if we’re 5 ½ hours away? This was us.

Once they got Emmi in the ambulance, I walked out and saw Eric, Ryan and Julian sharing their thoughts on the accident. I made her a ‘Get Well Soon’ card and we all decided we would go visit her once she was okay. We thought she would be okay.

The next few moments were a blur for me. I remember little until the Paramedics arrive. During my forgotten moments, Dad said he experienced an out of body moment. He told his story several times in the following days. As he crumbled, he felt a raw flame of pain sapping his chest.

She was depressed and you could tell. She felt like no one loved her in the world, and if they did love her it was fake love. She didn’t want to be a part of this life and that when I knew I had to do something.

I never thought that would be, my last vision of you... and it still haunts me. Years have come and gone, yet it seems like only yesterday, that you drove away. I replay those last moments in my mind, over and over, looking for some sign of what was about to happen; but there were none. No epiphany, no moment of great understanding, nor clarity, no clue or insight as to why... Who could have known that you would vanish, disappear without trace for all those years. Now a chill wind blows outside my door; so many nights of walking the floor, wondering where you

I was mad, I was sad, but most of all I was lost. Lost for the future. What would come when she was gone, how could I possibly live without the most

After waking up from my blackout, I felt extremely paranoid. My friend caitlyn knew that she couldn't take me home to either of my parents homes so she decided to take me to my grandparents’ house. During that night, I was sweating too much and I felt cold. I don’t remember much about the party I attended or what occurred right before I blacked out. People tell me that I fainted and how they were scared. Thankfully, I had my friend help me before anything bad occurred

I heard the door open and close, I assumed they both left, leaving me alone in my thoughts. They were my nurse and doctor… I wasn 't having sleep paralysis, I was in a coma. So many thoughts flooded into my mind. Where was my mom? Was she alive? Did she know where I was? Did she know that I was in coma? Then I remembered something I saw on Twitter the night before called The Butterfly Effect. The Butterfly Effect is the scientific theory that a single occurrence, no matter how small, can change the course of the universe forever. I thought about my mom and I arguing about me wearing my seatbelt, she saved my life. If I never would have made the small decision to put on my seatbelt, I most likely would 've died. The more I pondered, the drowsier I got, until after what felt like an eternity, I fell asleep.

When it was all over, several days later, and I had regained consciousness, there was a sweet-smiling-lady-doctor, no longer a shadow, who stood in the midst of my three doctors. “Who are you? Where did you come from?” I asked the sweet-smiling-face behind golden rimmed glasses.

As I walked through the empty house, and not a noise was heard. Lillian was down for her afternoon nap, and I was missing Christian more than ever today. He was been gone for more than three years, and he is currently stationed in Afghanistan. Christian is more than just my husband, he is my best friend, my high school sweetheart, and even my back bone to life. After each telephone call, Skype date, or a letter I realize each time I hang up it might the last time. Lillian