Personal Narrative: Relating To My Ethnic Identity

As someone of Asian race, but adopted into a white suburban family, it has always been hard to reconcile the two. Growing up I never saw myself different than my primarily white classmates. Only when kids, mostly strangers, would sometimes pull their eyelids back or spoke pseudo-Chinese in an attempt to imitate Asian culture in middle school did I realize that I was different on the outside did I begin to understand that the

Many new arrivals still struggle to survive and often Chinese Americans still encounter suspicion and hostility. Chinese Americans have achieved great success and now, like so many others, they are stitching together a new American identity. As Michelle Ling, a young Chinese American, tells Bill Moyers in Program 3, “I get to compose my life one piece at a time, however I feel like it. Not to say that it’s not difficult and that there isn’t challenge all the time, but more than material wealth, you get to choose what you are, who you are.” (www.pbs.org)

There was a time she didn’t know how to describe a “white board marker” in Chinese, so she asked her class how to say it. “One girl, who went by the name of Tracy, eagerly told [Stephanie the word], and had a huge smile on her face” (Lam). Even though the language barrier was difficult, she and her students overcame it together with pointing and various other universal gestures and facial expressions. This way, the students were encouraged to understand English better to communicate with their teacher, and my cousin refined her own oral Chinese skills. The students “were kind and willing to help despite [her] poor Chinese, and didn’t judge [her] either” (Lam). The students were happy enough that she came all the way to Taiwan to teach them English. They respected this, and were eager to help her discover a new culture and improve on her Chinese abilities. The barrier was still tough for Stephanie, but thanks to the kindness of her students, it was much easier to bear through and succeed. It was a new and unknown world for my cousin, but she still made the most of her experience and discovered so much more about East Asian culture.

Another question arises: what is a “narrative of ethnicity” in diasporic context? Choy explains how immigrants are to preserve their ethinic identity, yet they adapt to their social context. The children feel the same resentment and distaste for Chinese. Jook-Liang forces herself to speak English at home in her efforts to be more like Shirley Temple. She speaks to herself in English while practicing her dance routine (Choy, 36) and uses it as a tool to feel less Chinese. The children have jarring associations to learning and speaking

All sentient beings have an acquired cultural identity and an innate racial identity; in the state of being the ‘other’ in a society that oppresses minorities, one can have a feeling of being displaced and alone, discouraged and even ashamed. American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang depicts a dissatisfied American-born Chinese tween who tries to grapple with living in a community that is largely not of his ethnicity. “It’s easy to become anything you wish . . . so long as you’re willing to forfeit your soul,” (Yang 29) says a wise Chinese herbalist’s wife at her store calculating bills on an abacus to Jin Wang, the unknowingly curious American boy who sits with his mother and his toy Transformer.

Firstly, a child of an immigrant can experience a strong disconnect between them and their native culture. In Jing-Mei Woo’s account of going to China to meet her step-sisters after her mother died, she states, “I was a sophomore at Galileo High in San Francisco, and all my Caucasian friends agreed: I was about as Chinese as they were.” This shows the disconnect between Jing-Mei Woo and her Chinese heritage. A quote from an Argentinian-American teenager from The New York Times’ article Children of Immigrants states, “I would like to say I feel comfortable calling myself an Argentinian, but every year when I return there I am reminded that I have missed huge cultural changes since I was 9, and as perfect as my Spanish may be, there are always tiny indicators to them that I am not one of them.” This quote perfectly encapsulates that same kind of disconnect that Jing-Mei Woo feels, although at a lesser degree. I can relate to this as, being a Mexican-American, I often feel not as close to Mexican culture as I should be or not as good at speaking the language as I should be.

Being a Taiwanese-American has always been my heritage, and nothing in this world could ever change that. During the first few years of my early childhood, I did not speak a word of English. Speaking in Mandarin was the natural thing to do, since my parents have spoken Mandarin to me ever since childbirth. Naturally, the first words that I had ever spoken were in Mandarin, and I did not realize how big a problem this would be until preschool…

In the book American Born Chinese, Gene Luen Yang gives us an entertaining story of a common simple goal to fit in. The book being intended for a middle school audience; it does an outstanding job of relating to adults as well in many ways. Reading the book has taught and reminded me of many things. Such as; accepting yourself, being who you are, and not changing for others. These goals are helpful when you’re getting situated in a new environment. Not only does Yang relate to middle school students, but to a variety of readers in many age levels and not just one in particular.

The second generation Chinese American's search for identity is indeed a challenge; however, the second generation Chinese American woman search for identity is magnified. For not only does the Chinese American woman struggle to find her ethnic identity, she must also find her strength and power as a woman. It is a dual struggle. But not only is it a dual struggle, it is a dual reality. The two entities cannot be separated. As Shirley Geok-Lim and Amy Ling stated so eloquently in their introduction the Reading the Literatures of Asian America, race and gender categories "are never unitary and separate' but are "historically and socioculturally embedded

Being raised in a predominantly Chinese household, I only knew about the Chinese culture. When I went to an American school for the first time, the way others behaved and talked was unfamiliar to me and I felt isolated because I had difficulty communicating with my peers and teachers. While being immersed in a different culture, I unconsciously learned that I would have to find a balance between two worlds that would work for me. My personal experience trying to connect two diverse worlds caused me to immediately disagreed with the author, Laura Bohannan, when she expressed her initial opinion of human nature of being universally homogeneous.

I have been familiar with the question “are you Chinese-Vietnamese?” of those whom I had met the first time since living in my homeland. I had wondered that I might probably carry Chinese heritage. Since coming to the United States, the situation switching around to languages: Vietnamese waitresses in restaurants greet me in English; on the contrary, Chinese ones greet me in Mandarin, or a cashier in an Asian market speaks either Mandarin or English with me,

In an interview Chin said, “I didn't want to speak Chinese. I wanted to be all American; I didn’t want to be different” (Parmar, “Double Happiness”). However, this desire didn’t follow her into adulthood and she has been conflicted on her inability to keep her Chinese identity complete. “In Rhapsody in Plain Yellow” she wrote, “When did I become the master of suburban bliss? With whose tongue were we born? The language of the masters is the language of the aggressors. We’ve studied their cadence carefully- enrolled in a class to improve our accent. Meanwhile, they hover over, waiting for us to stumble… to drop an article, mispronounce an R” (Chin). Chin’s “doubleness” isn’t just a mixture of cultures, it is a clash of cultures. This clash isn’t just happening in the world, it is also happening in Chin and all of the other immigrants that she is writing to in her

In a town that consists of a large Caucasian and Hispanic majority lies a Chinese, fatherless family. I often question my mother, “Why Southbridge?” out of all places in the United States; she chose Southbridge to settle in. Neither friends nor relatives live in this part of the United States. Those were the questions that I frequently bombarded my mother with. There was a feeling of isolation from the community, which made it uncomfortable when it came to making small talk with people or friends. This especially applied to me. “Hey do you speak Chinese?” "No." “Then what do you speak?” "I speak English." I said sarcastically. Was the annual routine of questions I was asked when meeting new people in each grade. I was considered to be an oddball growing up in middle school and was known as that Chinese kid. It was a grueling task just to join a clique. For this reason, I developed an introvert personality. Which made it very demanding to form meaningful friendships. It was only in high school, that I began to open up to people and eventually join a group. A group of extroverts, only then I could start to express my interest with other people.

A person with smaller eyes and more yellowish skin tone like myself will be asked the question,” Are you Chinese or Korean?” at some point of time in their live span. Now in the modern ages , especially in America , we tend to assume a widely, simplified or distorted image with the people around us which is known as stereotypes. For example, when we see people who have a white colored skin tone we tend to make the generalization that they are the typical Americans that eat burgers and fries every night; what we do not know is that they could be Bulgarian, German or British. Just because people have a certain appearance on the outside does not allow us to place a name on who they truly are. In the VOA News article,” US Public’s Labeling of Chinese Americans as ‘Asians’ Poses challenges”, an Asian American rights activist and former journalist says,” The public’s lack of consciousness about who we are, where we come from and how we are not all the same, is pretty much stuck where it’s been” (Lipin).

Initially, I was enrolled in a Chinese kindergarten and I was exposed to Mandarin. Then, I transferred to a public school that utilized the Malay language in its curriculum. Unfortunately, my ability to practice Mandarin became very limited and as a result, my interest in Mandarin began to wane. However, having acquired the basics in Mandarin and upon constant motivation from my family, I continued to pursue the Mandarin language. In fact, I met up with a teacher who was well-versed in that language and asked her if she could impart her knowledge to me. Seeing my keen motivation, the teacher actually opened up an optional afternoon class solely for the purpose of learning Mandarin. The comprehensive lesson provided by the teacher also included the cultural practices, festivals and the gorgeous artworks associated with the Chinese people. In the class, the teacher also provided the students with cultural materials that are used during festivals celebration in Chinese culture such as such the “TangLong” to give us the ‘feel’ of the festivals. My parents were supportive in allowing me to attend the classes every day in order to improve my ability in the language and able to discover my culture in-depth as well. Over time, I came to appreciate my effort in conserving both sides of my family heritage without forsaking one for the other. I am proud to be both Malay and Chinese, as they