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Personal Narrative: The Dim Sum Table

Decent Essays

“Amanda, are you crying?” my friend asks, laughing loudly as she sees my eyes water upon taking a bite of the best steamed pork bun I’ve had in years. We had taken the train into LA that day to see the Kendrick Lamar exhibit at the LAMOCA, and at my request ate Dim Sum for lunch. I order for us in Cantonese: clear shrimp dumplings, sticky rice wrapped in lotus leaves, sweet egg tarts, and of course, steamed pork buns. I have never spoken much Chinese, just some conversational Mandarin, bits and pieces of Shanghai dialect, some handfuls of Cantonese. But I have always known the language of the Dim Sum table. I can even translate the meanings– the little butt-shaped peach buns are for immortality, a whole fish is wealth and prosperity; orange …show more content…

I have countless memories of my seven cousins sitting at the kids’ table in various combinations, reaching over the lazy susan, playing Pokémon under the table, and trying to see how high we could pour our tea from. There is a certain comfort in knowing to flip the cap of the teapot when it’s finished or that the best sticky rice has both sausage and salted egg. I have known this comfort all my life– while I’ve always struggled with knowing where home was as a place, wherever I am I know that I can find home at the Dim Sum table. When I first spent a summer away and got homesick, I went for Dim Sum. When I was thirteen and boys yelled “ching chong”, called me “chink” and “little china girl”, when they tried to make me hate who I was, I returned to Dim Sum. And both when in the wake of that experience I applied to and got accepted to my school’s diversity and acceptance leadership group, SAME, and later when I became its head, I had celebratory Dim …show more content…

I knew it was useless, but if there were any chance that a plate of long noodles could have made his twenty-three years twenty-four, I would have taken that chance. If a little peach bun could stop a car accident, could have saved his life, I would have forced it down his mouth. The lazy Susan spun circles so fast my thoughts made me dizzy until I couldn’t think them anymore. It was this time that Dim Sum did not feel like home. I wasn’t sure anything could feel like home again. The second time I ate Dim Sum after my cousin died, I wondered if I would ever be able to eat Dim Sum again without thinking of those laughing meals of childhood and family. Without thinking of all seven cousins together and loving and being home. Without remembering that feeling of warmth like the steam that rises from a fresh bamboo platter of pork buns, white fluffy bread encasing moist, sweet and savory, passion colored meat– a warmth that no longer seemed to exist. I came to learn the answer to this question was no. I would never go to Dim Sum again without remembering. I couldn’t forget those meals; to forget them was to forget what love feels like, what home and belonging means. To forget was to forget part of who I was and that I had ever felt those feelings at

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