Personal Narrative: The Situation Of Loss

On 09/12/2016, I Deputy Daniel Pruitt was dispatched to 52455 West Highway 16 for an unattended death compliant. I arrived on scene st 6:45pm and meet with Creek County EMS unit 40.

I have lost my grandpa and have not gotten over the idea of it. When I was in the sixth grade, my grandfather was very sick; he could barely walk. While my grandmother and some other family members went uptown for some household things, food, and medication, I was told to take care of him. Yet, I wanted to play with my friends outside. He told me to go ahead and play, but for some reason I just got mad and slammed the door and left. Around nighttime, I seen an ambulance pull up to my grandparents’ house.

am beset {long pause} How long will I let the pain and loss define my life? An enduring struggle of loss and gain A monumental achievement through the tangles of deeds But is left alone with silent words

April 6, 1997, twenty years ago our family lives was drastically changed, with the death of my husband, father of my children. Mike was only forty-two years’ old when he passed away from a heart attack. Mike went to the hospital complaining of chest pains; he was observed in the hospital overnight, and some tests were taken of his heart. He was released from the hospital and three days later he died in his sleep from the widow maker heart attack. With the history of heart disease in the family, his grandfather/father passed away from heart disease at the age of forty years old. Waking up that morning and finding Mike has passed away in his sleep; was very devastating for our family, his mom, brothers, my sisters, and brother-in laws. At the time of his death, I was thirty-six-years old, a stay home mom, and our children Amy, was eleven years old, Kristina, nine years old, and Vincent seven years old. The hospital did not take any responsibility of his passing; we received no social services or any explanation from the hospital why the tests didn’t show any results of heart disease. Now my status is widow/single parent unemployed raising our three children on my own. Not knowing what the future holds for us.

I'm composing you this since it's opportunity sure things are talked about. I contemplated how and where we turned out badly as I looked over some old messages between you and I. When you were conveyed in Qatar, the legitimate answer is we quit being there for each other. We communicated such a great amount of adoration to each other and were so worried with the other individual rather than ourselves. As I read it dishearten to me to perceive how we made this bond amid our marriage to let everything come apart out of childishness. We both were experiencing self issues, I was pregnant you sent. I couldn't relate and being pregnant turned into all I contemplated. Which lead to feeling undesirable on both sides. It never sounded good to me why

The one thing we must constantly remind ourselves is that death is not the end of our life. We cannot and we will not forfeit what beautiful and precious time we have left wallowing in the darkness of a life ending. I know that the pain is real and I know that sometimes the everything is just too loud and enormous and overwhelming. But we must carry on and we must endure and we must live without ever being held back.

What is the only cause of death in the top 10 in America that can not be cured, prevented or slowed down? Its Alzheimer’s and it’s a terrible disease not only because of what it does to the victim but also what the family has to go through. My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I would go visit him in the hospital every day until this one time it just got to hard, it tore me up on the inside and it changed my view on life for a while.

My struggle was when I hurt my wrist when I was 12. I was playing basketball at Spiece Fieldhouse for my SportOne team. We were playing a pool play game for a tournament on a Saturday and the tournament was on Sunday. I sprained my wrist falling on the floor.

Have you ever lost a close one, friends, family? Once you experience a loss, everything changes. It’s a life changing experience, it’s the worst feeling in the world. When losing someone, you look back and have so many regrets. You start to think “Could I have been a better person for them?”. It’s permanent, once they are gone, they are gone.

The dance that was most aesthetically pleasing to me was the dance titled “A Voice.” This dance had a combination of both single-unit and multi-unit movements. It was very appealing to watch. It was interesting to see how they originally started with two people dancing together, with one left out, to a different combination, to a different one. This dance was the one that let me leave the whole show with a smile. I could not believe the chemistry that all of the performers had during that dance. It dragged me into the story that they were portraying. The performance had an aura that I just could not get over. It was obviously the dance of the night for me.

When I first laid upon the floor and paid attention to my body, every part seemed to be on edge and tense. Even as the voice began to speak, I realized that I was focusing too hard on the instructions and not enough on executing them. Therefore, I had to begin again, in which I began to take deep breaths and with each release of breath, let the tension melt away. I noticed my neck was placed too flat on the floor causing tension, so I pulled my chin up, leaving a little arch to be more relaxed. I was personally surprised at how lose my back felt as it is usually the place in my body that I feel most tension. However, I did notice as the time got longer, some tension was appearing at laying on the floor for a long time.

I’ve had many family members of mine pass away, but the one death that I am going to share is the one with my grandfather, Daniel DelCasale, on my dad’s side of the family. It wasn’t the first death of a relative of mine, but it was the first death that had an effect on me and that I remember having a reaction to. Both of my grandmothers passed away by the time I was six years old. I didn’t go to my grandmother’s funeral on my mom’s side because I was only five years old. I did, though, go to my Nana’s funeral, but I don’t remember going or anything for some reason.

Gibson’s second seizure came a few days later as he sat at the top of the stairs, a place where he commonly went to relax.  The shaking started again.

The pain hurts so bad, like a sharp pain down my leg every time I try to run. It's hard, running is my passion and I can't even do that! Even walking is hard, a numb pain just there waiting to become stronger. So that pain in my leg while I try to walk to class and think of what the word cephalopod means for my lovely biology test to keep my mind off my leg. Then, of, course stupid Tristan O'Brien had to slam into me and knock my lovely organized notes all over the floor.

Loss, it changes you. I cannot describe it or explain it. I am struggling with it. We as a family are struggling with it. I have decided to share one piece of how our family decided to celebrate my mother’s life at her funeral. We laid her down to rest on December 5, 2015, if you can call it that. More days than not it doesn’t feel that way to me. As we worked through the specifics we struggled, as a family and individually. We are all in a place together, yet we are individuals. We are dealing with the biggest loss of our lives. Each taking on a task for social and personal fulfillment. Each taking on the responsibility to ourselves to not regret decisions made during this time, or disappoint our mother’s life and memory at this memorial. We knew that so many others have been touched by such a beautiful woman’s kindness and genuineness, yet getting past our own grief to plan seemed to much a load to carry. We were and are not prepared for this, it had never been a fleeting though in my mind and I could not imagine it being a fleeting thought for anyone else.