Personal Narrative: Trapped In The History And Culture

I’ve always been an outsider, it’s been hard for me to build friendships and relationships. Not too long ago, there I sat in the corner of the room in the way back, trying to hide from the world, and be myself. I didn’t really want to get involved with anything or anyone. I was afraid to open up, talk to others, maybe because I was afraid to get rejected. Until, I met the best people I could ever meet, my best friends Marisa Mendoza, Jessica Contreras and Deseray Reyes, the ones who up to this day have sticked by my side, at my best, and worst moments. They have all been a big part of my life, I can enjoy every minute I spend with them. For me, they aren’t only my friends they are like my sisters.

Walking away from everything you once knew and starting over is never a picnic. Leaving Iraq, and moving to America has impacted my life more than anything. I was only 4 years old at that time, and the only English I spoke was “excuse me, water please.” My family and I did not know it then, but our lives were going to change; we would become “Americanized”. Learning English was one of the massive changes that occurred, the way I dressed (culture), and even the way I had power to go to school and educate myself.

I chose to break the norm of either smiling at strangers or giving them a neutral look when you make eye contact. I decided to give every stranger I passed a confused look like they had just spoken to me in another language. I must admit, this made me feel a bit goofy. I was on the fence as to whether or not to do this in the first place but I decided I just had to. The responses I received were quite comical. A few people asked if I was alright, and one person even asked if I had a problem with them.

When I walked into the store, I was greeted by the sales associate, Cathy. She came over and asked me how she can help me today. I replied that I was looking for a new mattress and was told by a co-worker that they had a new Sleep Number bed and I was interested in finding out about them. The associate asked me about my current mattress and what I was looking for in a new mattress. After I answered her questions, she led me over to the demonstration mattress and asked me to lie down. She gave me the demonstration and then asked me to come over to the m7 mattress and lie down on that mattress. The associate then demonstrated the adjustable frame of the m7. She then gave me the laminated pricing sheet and explained that there was a current

“Hey you want to drive”, my step-dad yelled over the loud engine of blue grizzly 4x4 quad I yelled “yes!!”, so as I got one the quad I put on my helmet and fased the strap on the same color helmet.

“I will allow you to go to over Mackenzie’s sleepover as long as you promise to watch PG-13 or younger”, my mom yell up the base of the stairs from the kitchen.

Growing up as a child, I wore my dark black hair back in tight braids, baggy jeans, my tanned skin in white tank tops, and sneakers; not to express culture appropriation, but because it was all that I had. My surrounding environment was full of diverse races, and seeing color was a part of my daily routine. As I grew up and began to change throughout life, my environment did as well. I moved from the city streets to a suburban area, and as time wore on I noticed a distinct lack of color amongst my peers. Instead of me looking at the world the same day by day, it was as if the entire world was looking at me.

When I think of the word legacy I think of how I will be remember and what I will leave behind for generations to come. I think of people like Martin Luther King Jr and Gandhi, whose impact changes the lives of many and the world as it was known during that time. I don’t think that my impact will be received on such a big scale like Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, and many other but hopefully I will be able to touch the people who were close to me during my lifetime.

There are many avocations that I would chose from. But, more specifically, I would aspire to be a unique, “at home style” photographer. Being able to capture simple moments in a strange place like Elsewhere seems so interesting to do. Each day I would grab my camera, go outside, stroll around and observe nature. I would be able to go outside and capture moments of people, the warm sky, or anything that I would want to. The thing is, there are no limits to photography

someone. One of the hardest responsibilities I've ever had to take on, was when I had to babysit, Brennan, my little brother. I thought I would not do a good job, but I knew it was something I had to learn how to do. Also, when I babysat my brother, I felt that it would help my parents if I knew how to take care of him. Although I was very nervous, I told my parents that I would babysit my little brother. Something that I didn't know, was that I was learning a lot about taking responsibility for things in life. It was a very interesting learning experience for me.

At times, I can be very composed. Other times I can be the fool that I am. When I entered the airport from the plane ride from London, I started freaking out! I was in Africa, but still surrounded by White people and I could not understand their English! Luckily, Elders Reese and Spillane met us at the airport and calmed me down. They told me that the language that those people spoke was Afrikaans. Initially it sounded to me like English that I did not understand, but as I heard it more I became used to it. The thing that I wanted to do most was use the French I know to speak to someone about the gospel and I got the chance! I saw this Black guy who spoke French, who helped load our kombi or van with luggage. I testified

Flying across the world at the age of 6, a new continent, city, language, and people. That's how my life began. First Time seeing an airplane my thoughts where do they have cartoons, and how will I play on the airplane. So many questions, I wanted to ask but I remained quite. I was scared, worried, happy, sad so many feelings at once. But hey that's how my story will begin. When I moved to the US, I was scared and felt lost But all I wanted to do is build myself from the ground, because I was building my future. But with a great experience I was either going to make me or break me.

Influences, they come from many sources; people, television, places near and far from our homes. For me however, my influences are in games, one game in particular. A game, whose community is so small and minute, that even its creator has moved on to other aspects of life. This game doesn't even originate in my own country, and most of the people in this fanbase don't either. In fact they are mostly spread across Europe with at least one member in South America. Because of that I can only speak in one of the many languages we have among us. Thankfully, English is what we speak most commonly, and that this majorly influential game of my childhood, has an option for.

I have gone to Catholic school since kindergarten. Needless to say, my cultural experience is fairly limited; mostly, I interact with white people. So when I got to high school, it was mostly curiosity that made me sign up to take Mandarin Chinese as a language.

I am a 17 year old Muslim girl.My culture believes in ALLAH,we believe that he is our creator and we chose to believe in him.We pray 5 times a day and go to our church every saturday and sundays.We have certain rules and regulations that we follow.If you have beliefs and goals than how are you going to reach anywhere.You need a path that can guide you to where you want reach.Therefore,I belief in “ALLAH”,he guides me be going on the right track.I was raised in three different homes.My first home is in Mogadishu,Somalia,which is where I was born.Mogadishu is a small city in Somalia.I had a pleasing and memorable memories when I was growing up.But my family and I had to move because of the violence and brutality that was happening in my hometown.Therefore,we moved to Kenya because we have many family there.In Kenya,Africa we lived in a 4 bedroom apartment.We had this routine to go to two different schools everyday.One was a English school and the other was a Muslim school.We went to two different schools because my parents didn't want us to forget our culture and religion.They wanted us to be educated in English and in our culture.My mother owned a Somali restaurant and my father was a social worker.We were happy,but my parents wanted us kids to get a better education and bright