Personal Narrative: Two Years Dead

I come across a rear projection TV on the side of the road one day, load it up, and take it home. I eagerly spend a good four hours stripping it down and saving as much as I can. I end up with a 48” fresnel lens, two hefty speakers, a couple large capacitors, three glass lenses, and a glass mirror. Left over is a box of electronic waste and the particle board skeleton of a TV. I take the electronics to my local electronics recycling center, and set the wooden frame on the curb. I took 70 lbs. of trash and turned it into 10 lbs. of treasure ripe for projects, 30 lbs. of recyclables that would have gone to a landfill, and 30 lbs. of refuse that I had fun

I have lost my grandpa and have not gotten over the idea of it. When I was in the sixth grade, my grandfather was very sick; he could barely walk. While my grandmother and some other family members went uptown for some household things, food, and medication, I was told to take care of him. Yet, I wanted to play with my friends outside. He told me to go ahead and play, but for some reason I just got mad and slammed the door and left. Around nighttime, I seen an ambulance pull up to my grandparents’ house.

I had never given much thought into how I would die. There’s something about being young that causes us to believe we’re invincible. It’s not like dying young is uncommon, it’s just that there’s something extra despairing about a life ending before it had really begun. Over the past 18 years, I’ve never thought twice about my mortality. I mean, it wasn’t anything special to me. I knew that I would eventually die, but eventuallies aren’t always as far as you think. Here I am, only 18 years old, my cold body

It started as typical Tuesday with a couple of court hearings, maybe an arrest, but nothing to exciting. That all changed at dawn.

Then came my brother’s illness. Within the span of less than a week, I was hurled into the real world: a world of uncertainty, adults, and death. Death had finally reached my front door. For four months, he waited there, but would not come in. This time, he was expected. After about three months, and for the first time in my life, I truly feared Death and its power. Unlike with the first three boys, death was more expected. My brother was not eating, not walking, and was showing no signs of improvement. Looking back on it now, I realize that to the adults, it probably seemed like only a matter of time. With my childlike faith, however, this did not seem like a possibility, or at least I told myself that. My brother could not die, he was not like those other boys. Yet he was, to Death’s cold, indiscriminate eye, my brother was exactly the same. However, as I have learned, Death does not care. Death did not care that my brother had been bedridden in a hospital for the past few months or that another boy was just trying to enjoy a pool-party, because he eventually decided to leave my brother alone. He left our home’s doorway with only the smudge of his fingerprints on the

I snapped back into reality and opened my door. I stepped out into the narrow hallway, and I rested my hand on the door knob. The door was almost closed when I had a sudden urge to sneak one last glance at my room. Not being able to let go of my room, I cracked the door open again. My eyes rested on the skeleton of the room, and I gently closed the door.

As a child, I knew nothing about loss. The closest think I had known about loss would be my dog dying a few years before. I was devastated and I cried forever, but it was nothing compared to when my brother died. The loss of my brother to suicide taught me more about life than I would have thought. I learned that death is different from when I was a kid than it is now, also how I cope with it and relearn about death each year that passes by.

Week one has passed by quickly! I think this week was very successful and I can say that I have learned many new things. This week has been an experience for me learning things about the business world. I am not a business major so I was not expecting to take these classes. I was assigned them, but have found them very beneficial. As I read through the first couple of chapters I read things I had heard before. This was a good thing that I could put the information with the terms I had heard previously.

My screams were literally sucked out of my lungs and suddenly we were gone from the alley in a brilliant white flash. A second later I was in a dark void, I felt as though I was being squashed flat between two buildings despite the emptiness of the place and couldn’t breath. Any second now and I knew I would be dead. I clawed at my throat, my eyes bulging from my head and suddenly--

As the door shut behind them, my stomach fell and I knew I would not be able to see the daylight tomorrow. We were suppose to leave this place with the inspectors and free ourselves from this suffering. I stood there as time ticked by, helpless and lost in my own thoughts.

I dreamt of death. Violent images of maimed humans surfaced, their mouths gaping open, skin clammy with sweat and eyes staring up at nothing. The bony skulls of my family grinned at me through the blackness. I still remembered that dead blank look in my parents' eyes. The gurgle that they made as they collapsed in a heap on the floor. With a shudder, I dragged myself from going through the torture of relieving everything over

I’d never thought enough had happened in the sixteen and half years I had been alive for much of anything to pass in front of my eyes during a near death experience. I was wrong. You know those nights when you lie awake in bed and replay interactions long forgotten by everyone but you? You wonder what people thought, what you could have done differently. This experience felt much the same. In your head is all of your missteps and slip-ups, the advice you should have taken but were too stubborn to listen to, the people you’ve let down. It all sprawls out in front of you like a sunset stretching across the horizon as you drive over a big hill.

Life is a very difficult experience. Yes, you can try and make it easy but overall it does not come easy at all. You have to work towards anything you want and put yourself out there to become apart of the experience it provides.

I met the heavy footsteps of the stranger at the door. When i opened the old creaky door i had to back up and lift my head due the fact that

A couple quotes from people who said they felt nothing; “Overdosed on heroine, EMT’s said my heart stopped. Didn’t see anything, just like sleeping with no dreams.” and “Pure,perfect, uninterrupted sleep,no dreams.”. A quote from someone who felt like they could see what was happening while dead; , “I do remember a little bit of the ambulance ride, but not from my own body. It was seriously the strangest thing I have ever experienced. It could have been a dream, but I saw my own unconscious body completely flatlined in the ambulance. I remember the EMT who was in the ambulance with me (whom I did not see before I passed out)”. And here is a quote from someone who had an interaction; "I was standing somewhere. There was a fog all around me, and I saw my best friend (who at the time I'd been fighting with and he'd stopped talking to me) come out of the mist. He told me that I couldn't go yet, that I have to keep trying, and if I promised not to give up, he'd see me back on Earth. I wordlessly agreed, and I was instantly pushed (into?) my body.".