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Personal Narrative: Who I Am

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Every day I wake up knowing I’m going to have to fight the same war within myself that I do everyday. A war that isn’t visible to the eye, nevertheless a war I never feel I will be free from. It is a humiliating feeling to be fearful of your mind as if you are its prisoner. There are days where I will do anything just to survive. Anxiety has become a sickness that I can’t shake. The way I was brought up plays a significant role in developing a personality derived from perfectionism as well as fearing any sort of failure, due to developing an anxiety disorder. Anxiety has clouded my sense of “who I am,” as well as, affected me physically and cognitively. Growing up as the eldest child, I was, in other words, “the test run” before the next one came along. My parents both work in the medical field and have very driven personalities. Most parents, I have come to realize, shrug and seem content when their children get a B on their report card. However, when it came to my grades, I was petrified to get anything less than an A. My parents were and still to this day have extremely high expectations for myself. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with the idea that I am disappointing them when I struggle with school. The high pedestal that they expect me to reach is absolutely to blame for developing a …show more content…

This negative state of uncontrollability can be described, as a sense of “helplessness” because of perceived inabilities to predict, control, or obtain desired results in certain upcoming situations (Barlow, 1991, p.

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