Personal Narrative: Who I Got Here

We should all be familiar with that feeling you get right after you do something that you know was going to either get you hurt, or in trouble. I find I normally find myself asking the question “How did I get here?” very frequently when I’m with my best friend, Tarren.

Everything that I have attained in the past helped define who I am today. Everything I have gone through and have done in the previous years of my life molded me into the person I am today. Not only have they shaped me into who I am; but also guided me in discovering the potentials I did not realize that I had. Without the challenges and hardships of the past, I know that I would not be who I am today.

I was born on September 28, 2015. Born into the arms of a beautiful mother and loving father. They were both young and had little money, but they did their best to raise a little girl. They worked hours and hours, always came home exhausted, but they always made time and squeezed out the energy to spend time with me and remind me I was the most important thing to them. My sister came three years later and then my brother four years after that. I don't remeber much of my childhood, I just knew I was happy as toddler through the pictures they captured.

I saw, even though you tried to cover my eyes. I heard, even though you tried to block my ears. I felt, even though you pretended there wasn't a reason to. How could I possibly understand what I was seeing and feeling at such a young age? Who was there for me to talk to about it? No one..I had to comprehend so much. I sat behind the door with my back against it, when the screaming began again I closed my eyes this time. I pictured myself in a meadow with the grass being pure green and the sky being pure blue. The sun shined so brightly on my skin and the feeling of warmth comforted me. I could see a man walking up to me, but he was so bright you couldn't see his face. My throat was in a knot and my heart was heavy, but as

The summer following my senior year in high school, I was called to serve in the, “Virginia Richmond Mission,” for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was anticipated that I would serve for a period of eighteen months. This was a voluntary decision: one that would require I leave my home, family, and loved ones behind to focus all my time and efforts on serving others and sharing the good word of God. I knew that this experience would have a huge impact on my life and help me to build my character.

As the daughter of immigrants, I had grown up with a strong idea of what my culture was and how I identified myself. This identity had influenced my beliefs and the value I believed my parent’s culture held. My background had revolved around being raised by parents who had both spent a majority of their lives in Vietnam before moving to the States. This meant I was going to be influenced by the Confucian ideas which remained prominent in Eastern and South Eastern Asian culture as well as the Buddhist religion which my mother followed. All of these traits along with the environment I grew up in had affected how language had become a major pillar in my culture and identity, continuing to play a part in my relationships and actions today.

I like to think that my journey to finding my identity has been a complicated one. As in my case identity was something no one really focused on finding but at the age of fourteen my complicated identity would come to accept a new part of it, Cancer. But it is not what I identify myself as, it makes up my identity but I don’t let that define it.

When meeting new people, that is the most common question I receive. My tan complexion and my facial features would lead someone to believe that I am Filipino but the kinky curly hair that sits atop of my head would lead someone to believe otherwise. So the question remains: what am I?

I fill many roles in my life, including but not limited to, brother, son, friend, and student. I strive to be the best at each of these roles as I can be, but at the same time remain true to my character. On my snowman, I have drawn images such as a basketball, a globe, and a taco. These are just a few things that I feel describe who I am. I am always doing my best to be who I am and not who others want me to see. As Shia Labeouf once said, “Your life is your life. Know it while you have it. You are marvelous.” Despite yelling things such as “Just do it!” in a similar video, Mr. Labeouf still manages to get a strong point across. I try to live by these principles, and know my life while I have it, and whenever I am feeling self-conscious, remember

Putting me in this situation that I don't like. Getting seductive every sexy white girl I see or something is chasing me. this is a big huge mistake that causes me to be in my lust of nature. That I can't possessive their fears of silence and dishonest myself to be in their handsome favorite heart. This is sick when there are trying to kiss me, the dirty feeling when there are trying to get in my pants, and mind trick gross when they want sex whenever. They want to touch my body so badly and so I let them touch me. It hurt me so much that when they use me has their own sex tool and I let the dark ruin my heart. That makes me be use by them like a sea siren of beauty. Then I push them away so I could inhale and exhale in my life again. It's

The environment around me has molded me into the man I am today together with its strenuous experiences and jubilant moments. In addition, those memories have created a blazing ambition to become a more intellectual and compassionate individual. Next, my community and certain individual have thought many fundamental aspects that completely changed on how to view this world today. For instance when I study martial arts under Sensei Deanna Bivins, she trained me to become more self disciplined no matter the path that lies before me. Furthermore, the number one person that has carefully raised and taught me almost everything I know is my father. My father has educated me around one concept “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others do unto you” and because the golden rule was always so close to my heart, I have always grasped the idea of being kind to others. Similarly, I think being involved in my community not only

It was the day. My life was going to change forever and I was so ready for it. I had woken up with a smile but I was also very nervous. I never thought I would do this. I didn’t think i was ever gonna get close to him but that changed. I decided i am going to get baptized. I was getting baptized by my best friend Katie, and my youth pastor Devin.

Being able to find identity for myself seemed like a walk of solitude through my silence and confusion. Growing up biracial I observed others as they look me up and down to figure out what I am because to them, I am something different, something almost oriental, something to put a label on because they cannot perceive the in between. With polite smiles people would ask the “what are you?” question. By never being able to escape others apprehension, I strayed away, I drew the lines for myself.

So today, I am 5 months and 29 days clean of my eating disorder and 5 months and 13 days clean from self-harm. I feel like im human again. I may not be where i need to be, but i am definitiley in a better place than i was a year ago. It's taking me a while to fix all the broken things within myself, but slow progress is still progress. Let me tell you though, recovery is terrifying when you don't know who you are without your sadness. One thing i always got told though that will forever stay with me is, " You are not what he did to you. You are not what she said to you. You are not what they think of you. You are you." because loving yourself first is the most important key to feeling better about everything and trusting, not only those around you, but yourself. Make yourself a priority once in a while. Self

Who am I? Who am I? A question that I have constantly asked myself . A question that I haven’t found a complete and accurate solution for. Before this mystery is solved, I have already discovered a few personalities of my own. I, Richard Shum, welcome the opportunity to tell you more about myself.