Personal Statement: Leave Harmony

Second, I have a passion for seeking challenges. Academically, it has been a challenging school year, however, I do not feel challenged in my lifestyle here. With the same comfort as my own hometown, college does not feel different from my high school years. Staying comfortable in college demonstrates there was no change in lifestyle. My passion is not satisfied by having a great level of comfort at Davis. By attending college in a different state, I will expose myself to diversity and new challenges, which I will always welcome into my

Pursing a career as a medical doctor is an opportunity for me to mentor youth in underserved populations. As a child, I was raised in the low income, urban community of Roxbury, MA. Although not as notorious today, the neighborhood had garnered negative attention for its high crime rates. My mother emigrated from Haiti and raised me as a single parent. Due to our financial circumstance, Roxbury became our permanent residence. I have always felt there was something lacking in Roxbury in comparison to other towns I visited. My teenage years were largely spent in the suburban town of Stoneham where I attended high school. There was a literal difference in air quality and a psychology contrast in future prospects. While native students of

As the semester comes to a close, it is always interesting to look back and reflect on the events and opportunities my English class has given me throughout my first semester as a whole. At the beginning of this semester it was evident that I was feeling uncomfortable due to the adjustment that I was going through as a student moving to college. It was very difficult expressing myself through my writing since I was nervous about good impressions and my good grade. While this class was one of the most difficult courses that I have taken this far, it has become quite evident to me that I have grown a substantial amount as a writer and as a person; Especially, when it came to explaining my ideas, writing academic essays, and making arguments.

There are few certainties of what one will encounter during life. A common joke names two: death and

I have to say that my relationship with my union is new and it means a great deal to me and my wife. I have long since been a hard and dedicated working piece of the American economy. I started as a young man mowing grass at a boys club in Savannah, Ga in exchange for mowing the grass I was able to be a part of the Boys club and my parents did not have to pay for me to be able to go there after school and during the summer which was great because between my dad and step mother there was five of us kids and for middle class family of seven to be able to have great amenities plus finding that extra money to pay for after school actives was no easy task so I worked for that. I then grew up and in my teenage years I worked fast food while in High school. I worked at a three in one restaurant it was a Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut and it was unionized. However this was my first small union experience and it was not the ideal first experience that myself of anyone

Hello Rozhnaz! This writing looks better than the previous one that I revised; congrats! You also gain improvement in terms of the use of academic vocabularies in this essay. Some notes to be considered here are the minor things such as punctuation, redundant expression, and capitalization. Here are several takes on your writing:

This year I have learned a lot from College Writing, this class has taught me a lot about my own writing and what makes a good essay. I have learned a lot about myself as a writer and as a person throughout the course. In this reflection of the past semester I will be going through my past papers and talk about what I liked and how I could’ve made them better. I will also be going through the activities that have shaped my writing the most. Hopefully, I will be representing how I have grown as a writer throughout the year because of this class. Before taking this class I was already relatively confident in my writing abilities and was excited to take the class. Now that the course is completed I am even more confident in my writing because of all the new techniques and helpful tips I learned.

Thank you for taking the time to review my essay. I look forward to hearing from you soon. I know my undergraduate work was not top notch, but I would be very invested in your program. Thank you again for this

It’s unexpected and beautiful. Change is great. People typically don’t like change because they’re used to staying in their comfort zone. But once they step out, it’s like a whole different point of view! Similarly to a kaleidoscope, one small shift in perspective can change an entire life. Always see the glass half full! I like the enthusiasm in this paragraph, however the exclamation points may not be a good fit in the essay. This paragraph seems a little out of place as well, you could move it closer to the intro when you are discussing the title, or you can create a transition from the other

I am tearing my hair to squeeze every single word from my poor mind to finish this letter. Yet deep in my frontal cortex, there is no part of mechanisms that is designed for writing a self-analyzing letter to my instructors. However, it has been ten weeks I studied in this course, and all my favorite works in these ten weeks are gathering in this tiny portfolio. I have wrote a several rhetorical practices that taught me basic rules of rhetorical essays. I have wrote a rhetorical analysis, which explained both the thesis of the reading and my own arguments against the reading. I finished my last rhetorical project three days ago with telling another interesting story. All these assignments were tiny pieces of my writing style and they built up together to present me a general concept of being a successful writer. I learned that, and I made a number of changes to upgrade my writing skills. At last, I decide to offer you these changes I have made as a start-up story writer in the college.

Rhetorical Analysis: This being the first paper I wrote for you, it turned out to be utter garbage. This was my worst essay because I was overconfident in my own writing ability and didn’t think I had much room to improve on. At the time I felt like it was a top notch essay, but I have recently gone back and reread it only to notice it as choppy and stale to read. Then the paper was riddled with comma splices, even after you did a lesson going over how to fix them. It wasn’t out of spite that I kept repeating these mistakes, but instead it was just ignorance on the matter. It was my goal coming out of that essay to fix those errors and while not perfect, I feel I have improved in my awareness of the problem. This paper taught me a great deal on how to think more critically about situations. This new mindset directly came into play in the second essay. I learned my greatest lesson from this paper. I have so much room for improvement. Now that I can see more of my errors I can continue to improve and move forwards with my writing abilities.

It’s my pleasure to be your partner and write this letter to have a review for your essay. I wish I could give you some useful advice that help you review and revise the essay.

AP English Language and Composition is the most challenging class I had ever taken, and I’m grateful that I had you as my teacher. Before your class, English was never a challenge for me, and since I was subpar in other subjects, such as science and math, I viewed English as my only redeeming quality as a student. After your class, I realized that English was not “my” subject either. While I struggled with meeting the standards, I appreciate your patience and willingness to stay after school to review my essays with me. After going through my essays with you, I felt a renewed resolve to improve. Thank you for also being understanding. Thinking about group projects triggers war flashbacks that I do not want to relive. However, I’m grateful that

Up until recently I have had a great deal of difficulty carrying about anything. That all change this year. I don’t know why or how, but I started to care about my grades, my friends, and my future. One of the things that I’ve found myself to care about is this club: the kids, the members, everything about it. When I say, “I will dedicate 100% into this club” I mean it. I have always wanted to help people, in any shape or form. I’d like to help the world in any way. I think about being a doctor or a lawyer so that one day so I can do something meaningful, but that won’t be for a long time, so let my help in this way. Vote for me and hopefully, when it comes time to, I can help.

I also wanted to ask you if you already had the chance of reading my essays. The deadline to submit the applications is close and I really want your opinion and advise to improve them.