Personal Statement : My First Marriage

People believe that marriage is easy and is the key to love and happiness, but in reality marriage is harder than it looks. Everyone marries for different reasons, for good or for bad. People today don’t understand the meaning of marriage; it is more than just money and appearance. Seeing today’s world of marriage is being influenced by media shows like Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, and Murray makes you realize how society today identifies marriage different. Couples who live unmarried will be happier and have more choices than those that are married in agreement with Catherine Newman’s essay called I Do. Not.: Why I Won’t Marry in the book “Acting Out Culture: Reading and Writing “, by: James S. Miller. Catherine Newman is a writer and an author

Harriet finds Phoebe, an old friend from her years in college, interesting, because her marriage is like a dream. She has not changed a bit, and although she has children, she and her husband continue to go gallivanting about the world in search of adventure (Sayers, 14-15). Though Phoebe and her husband are not very successful parents, Phoebe’s marriage is one of the “success” stories that begin to change Harriet’s mindset about the concept of marriage from it being repulsive to it being something desirable. Marriage is works through compromise between the husband and wife; a woman who does not wish to be a housewife, but prefers to work can discuss her feelings with her husband in order to generate a resolution that leaves both the adults and the children happy with the result.

When most people get married, they go into the marriage with the expectations and hopes that everything will go as planned, that they will always get along, and that the responsibilities will be evenly divided between both spouses. And for two working spouses who have children, they share the expectation that no one parent will be more of a caretaker than the other. Eric Bartels, a feature writer for the Portland Tribune in Portland, Oregon, feels as if he has personal experience as to what it is like to be on the receiving end of his wife’s irrational—or at least in his eyes—anger. Bartels informs his readers of the anger his wife projects

As stated in our text, various factors can bind married couples together, such as economic interdependencies, legal, social and moral constraints, relationship, and amongst other things. In the recent years some of these factors have diminished their strengths. The modern generation sees marriage in a different perspective altogether. Individuals today feel they are stable independently, they do not need to rely on their spouse for emotional or financial support. Many are career driven and soar to conquer their dreams over settling down with a family. Such untraditional views have increased divorce rates.

Television psychologists and pop culture self-help gurus tell us that marriage is hard work; marriage is compromise; marriage is a choice between being right, and being happy. All of these statements are true. What these experts don’t tell us, however, is that marriage is also about putting on blinders, or looking on the bright side, or one of a hundred other trite phrases to explain the art of self-deception. In marriage, there are times when we may find it necessary to look the other way from our spouse’s faults or indiscretions, in the interest of self-preservation. For if we examine these problems too closely, our darkest, most secret fears may come true. Therefore, it can seem easier to focus on the positive. In her poem “Surprise,” Jane Kenyon uses denial, selective perception, and fear of betrayal to illustrate the self-deception that can occur in marriage.

Marriage has been constantly changing over the past centuries. Currently, trends in marriage have adopted a new way of getting married through splitting responsibilities and work, resulting in social freedom for individuals. "The Myth of Co-Parenting,” by Hope Edelman demonstrates the difficulties of taking all the responsibilities while in “ My Problem with Her Anger,” explains the needs of having a better understanding of each other. Due to marriage changing over the last centuries, marriage couples desire individuals’ expectations and freedom to be met in marriage.

“Will Your Marriage Last?”, by Aviva Patz, is a cohesive article about marriage and divorce. Aviva Patz is the executive editor of Psychology Today. Patz narrates the story of Ted Huston, a professor at the University of Texas, who followed the lives of 168 couples for 13 years after their wedding date. She was then able to draw conclusions about what makes a couple stay together or end up filing divorce papers. Although marriages and divorce are the themes of this article, it is really about society’s pressure on young people to be perfect.

The majority of people who join together with their significant other through the act of marriage hope and dream that marriage will surround them with infinite love and happiness; unfortunately that is not always the case. In fact, “according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2013 American Community Survey, 10 percent of Maine women and 11 percent of men in Maine are divorced.”1 Though 10 and 11 percent seem like fairly small percentages, 10 percent of Maine women is approximately 67,831 women, and 11 percent of Maine men is approximately 71,506 men, which truly are not small figures to take into consideration. Since marriages do not always have a happy ending

In this book, Parrot & Parrot (2005) present a resource for setting up a marriage mentoring program. The book gives guidelines for mentors with successful marriages to incorporate in helping with building positive, effective marriages for others. It relates the awareness and vital skills needed to

It 's 2:30 in the morning, and the only thing that surrounds me are the continuous sounds of dry heaves and vomit, spewing into the toilet in front of me. This is my third pregnancy. Hyperemesis Gravidarum - the diagnosis I have now heard three times. But this time, the circumstances were a bit different. Just a few short months ago, my husband and I made the decision to have my tubal ligation reversed. We had previously talked about the possibility of having more children and knew the challenges we were likely to face. But it wasn 't until my diagnosis that it became a reality that it was no longer on my time.

Over the past decades, how Americans perceive the marital relationship greatly reformed, illuminating society’s values. In the past, marriage use to represent a legal contract to bear children and acquire finances, but today, “In all too many communities in the US, especially poor and minority ones, marriage is a retreat” (Wilcox et al., 2005, p. 5). Rather than observing marriage as an obligation, Americans now perceive a marriage to entail intimate commitments between affectionate partners. America transformed its values from the society and family to the individual level. Of the major values changes, which occurred over the past decades, this article exemplifies an increase in single-parent homes, cohabiting, and divorce. Due to America’s expansion of individualism and materialism, individuals no longer perceive their marriage as life long commitments. This transformation occurred because of a shift in societal values; society no longer places stigma on divorce and single parents, which aided in the increasing numbers of marital shifts. In fact, Americans tend to enter marriages with unrealistic expectations, expecting their partner to fulfill all of their needs without conflict. It stands as our unrealistic expectations and perceptions that caused a shift in marriages.

When it comes to marriage, we expect the fairy tale story that we grew up watching on tv and reading in books; stories such as Cinderella, Snow White, or Aladdin. We’re convinced that marriage will solve our problems. We have the false conception that marriage will bring us the perfect white picket fence, 2.4 kids and a nice dog; that our husband/wife will be ideal, and that we’ll live happily ever after. In the story The Sorrowful Woman by Gail Godwin; modern marriage is portrayed as the perfect fairytale that went horribly wrong. Godwin’s protagonist “The wife and mother” can be described as selfish and self-centered due to her unwillingness to conform to the fairytale that she finds herself resenting.

Contemporary Home, by Jack O. Balswick and Judith K. Balswick comprise of various approaches in biblical, theological, cultural, and sociological perspectives. The author focus is strictly to “integrated view of contemporary family life based on current social-science research, clinical insights, and biblical truth. The background of the author’s work is from a previous edition upgraded with current changes in our “modern society including a section on marriage, mate selection, cohabitation, expansion of family life, parenting, rearing children, adolescent, challenges of the later-life premarital cohabitation, recognition of the importance of biosocial influence, and the interactive effect of bio-psycho-socio-cultural factors to understand family dynamics. The audience of this book are for families and marriage in conflict, every life stage, maintaining balance through the joys, pains, ups, and downs,

In December of 2008, my wife and I found out we would be having our fourth child. We were living in Sugarloaf Key, FL while I worked in Key West, FL. Due to some unforeseen circumstances with our landlord, we terminated our lease in Sugarloaf early, rather than finding a place for the remaining six months we would be there. We moved the family back home to North Carolina over the Christmas break from school. I still had six months or so remaining before I transferred to my new job in Tybee Island, GA. The military had moved us before, being a military family moving was a bitter-sweet occurrence. The family adjusted well and settled right in. Having family close by to help ease this transition helped out greatly. The fourth addition to our family was developing on schedule, regular doctor visits, and checkups. We decided that he would be born in NC since my wife was comfortable with the doctor she was already seeing. The estimated delivery date also worked with my work schedule and being home for the birth.

I have a wide range of skills and knowledge that I have acquired throughout my personal and professional life. I can communicate with different types of people regardless of age, race or class. I have accessed a huge range of courses that have enabled me to develop interpersonal skills including negotiation and dealing with different types of people and personalities. I also have the knowledge, drive and enthusiasm to work alone when required as I am self-motivated and can meet targets and deadlines. I believe that challenges are best met positively by developing and improving knowledge and skills and through professional reflective dialogue that leads to change. I am very hard-working and reliable. I work well under pressure achieving a high standard of work. I have practical and organisational skills and I can find solutions to problems and face challenges confidently.