Poem Essay: Why Am I Going Astray '

In the beginning of this semester I didn't like writing at all. I had a lot of difficulty when it came to writing. That was my only weakness in high school. But as I started taking basic writing, I have made a lot of progress. Before I had trouble to put detail in my essays, but now I am confident. My attitude toward writing went from negative to positive during this semester. Some aspects of the class have helped me strengthen my writing, I have builded some strengths for myself as a writer, and I know I made a lot of progress by reading my most successful essay, and by comparing my early essays to my more recent ones.

I’m Noah Myers, a 17 year old homeschool senior and Running Start student at FVCC. This quarter I’m starting my journey to manhood with 11 general credits. Though I’m not confident in my career direction yet, I am confident that God will reveal his plan for me as I pursue classes while trusting Him to lead me. Years ago God gave my mom a verse which crazily fits my personality. ​ Joshua 1:9 ​”Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the ​LORD​ your God will be with you wherever you go.” ​I used to be a big worrier,well, I still am sometimes but the more I get to know God, the more convinced I am that He knows best and loves me completely. It’s all about trusting Him to be Master because

After reading chapter 10 of Soul Feast, I thought to myself what could be my rule of life? Where do I need support in my daily walk with Christ? What is it in my life that needs work and could be spiritually damaging, if not dealt with? Where do I need to be held accountable? After asking myself these series of questions, it is almost as if God spoke aloud to me. You are very Judge mental it is ugly and not of God. I said well there it is.

But still, the whispers tormented me without end. 'Unloved, unwanted.' The whispers were correct; I could never be loved, I could never be free. I was damaged, broken, abused, and abandoned. No one would ever, could ever want me. 'Oh you of little faith, why do you doubt me?' Another whisper, barely noticeable, joins the horde of voices in my head. 'I have promised you freedom; I have promised you love. I have said that I will never abandon you, and I have not. I have been with you since before your birth; do not doubt me. I am your meaning. Trust in me.' I struggle to hear these words, so soft amidst the wailing in my head. I must trust, I am reminded. I have meaning. "You are with me," I mutter. "These voices in my head are merely lies; they have no truth." I repeat these words as the voice of peace fades away. "I am loved; I am wanted. I am healed." The voices in my head increase in volume as I speak of my healing. 'You are too broken to be healed; if you were healed you would not have these thoughts. You should just give up. Your wounds are deep and they will bleed forever.' The tears on my face increase in number as I listen to the voices. "Stop," I whisper. "Stop. . . please. . . " The screaming rises and I can no

The question that emerged: Why don't I use my ears? I lost that sense from using my voice hiding to the screeching of my mind telling me what to do...I tried to escape that one voice by overriding it with my own, yet I lost that fight soon enough as well... My ears became deaf soon enough. I began to envision questions before my blinded eyes : What do I have left? What I have lost? What am I seeking? Am unconsiously self destructing? As these questions emerge the one that stands out to me " Have I failed my purpose of living?" I live my life being distand trying to find the anwser. However, what can I do with eyes blind to the light, ears deaf to my mind, a demon in my mind pulling stringles, a body walking on its own, and all I have left is emotions, the tangible sense of the world, and the sense to smell the fear I am covered in. But as time passes by I lose motivation to try... "What can I do with what I have left?" Is the final question that emerges in the end of the day, before I close my eyes and wake up to cage with time on the

makes known his power as a master in act 4 when he both physically and

Those in prayer are his prey. We weep for souls forever on their knees in the holy city.

I am also reading, “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer. A series of books that kept my attention was by Stephanie Meyer which were Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Down and the Host even though it was about Vampires and I’m not into those kinds of books I loved it, and after I read the first two books the movie came out. I also read the Memoirs of a Geisha, I came to read this book because my daughter was doing a play and her part was a Geisha and I did not know what Geisha meant. After reading the book I didn’t allow her to participate in the school play. My tenet is that if you act a particular way, after a period you become it. Confucius wrote, “No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance.” In the Bible James 1:5 says; - If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him”. I am learning to acknowledge the Lord in all I do and he will direct my

Click. Click. Its like another piece to this puzzle has found a fit. You see, in order for me to be motivated by my calling and in order to reach my destination… He wants me to LOVE HARDER in every aspect of life. He wants me to lay all my trust into Him because I love Him just that much! I am rejoicing in the fact that He will forgive me for being so stubborn and not doing this sooner. For so long I’ve built a wall between myself and God. While I’ve always had faith, I haven’t let my love for Him shine because of the pain I’ve let consume me. It is time to LOVE HARDER and let my faith be the motivation to reach my

Throughout this semester year, I have accomplished four low stake assignments and many different types of writings and reports that I have never experienced before. By looking back to the works that I have done, I noticed several mistakes and learned new methods and skills that are needed for the the various types of writing, such as a police report, an academic cover, screenplay script, and even a social study questionnaire and its analysis. I also developed my ability to work in group from the group activities that Professor. Zuluaga assigned us to, along with the development of my ability to incorporate among the group members and myself.

He will assure your doubts and keep you sound The love he is been saving, is created only for you Solo Boy: I let you struggle to see you pray

Rooted and grounded in love with all the same attributes of any other human. I can still be quick to judge sometimes but do not speak until I have settled it in my heart. I am kind and loving and have a great care for all creatures on this earth as well as the earth itself. I am often times misunderstood whether it is the way I articulate things or the way I speak it. I know I can be very direct and to the point which others find hurtful or even spiteful. This is an issue I have tried to bring to a resolution however I have not had much luck. Since I have developed a relationship with our Father I don’t feel he wants me to be quiet, meek or humble. I know we are created in his image and there is no one alike. I believe he has given me many gifts and talents and I am blessed. Although, I am sure of many things and I believe the Bible to be complete truth. I find it difficult when the Church suggests otherwise and that I must let go of all things that I love, music, theater, movies etc. because of the message that is behind all of these art forms. My Pastor believes that no good can come from these things because of the evil behind them. This is why in order to love God we must let go of all things, in essence lose ourselves. I have done this for a year and am having

I am getting up. Setting my clean hands against the muddy dirt, I am shoving myself skyward. I am reaching to the sun, flying up. The ground is no friend of mine. Each step I am taking, I need to force myself to take. I am walking along the bay. I hear a noise, the sound of sweet serenity. It is a bar. I need a drink, I need to smother a parrot. I am walking through the door, and I hear the sweet, melodic, tune, sung by none other than a true church-bell. Not even god can save, him. I am looking at the man in the corner booth, he has a pork pie hat on his head. The hat is old, I can tell because of the wrinkles that wonder about the

Because of the fall and sin that corrupted the world I am broken and far from righteous. This became especially evident when I documented my feelings, thoughts and behaviors over the course of the last month and a half. Since a lot of unusual and extreme situations came up in my life during that time, it was particularly interesting to look back at those moments. What I discovered was that my image of myself and God’s version of it are very far from each other.

I slept through the cry and pain and woke up with joy knowing I would be alright when I receive the Doctor’s report. The genesis of my book initiated in the 7th grade, a kidney condition that could possibly end my life instead gave me life. I grew up in church, however, I did not value nor understand the rituals. As I matured, I adapted a unique personality. I built walls to prevent hurt. In secret, I cared and loved, yet I thought speaking hateful and bitter words would showcase my boldness; I associate boldness with aggression. The struggles I faced, included me, myself and I against the world because I did not want to worry my parents. In Addition, I humbled myself and went before the Lord in prayer, promising that I would change. A few weeks later, I received my healing and continued leaving in ungratefulness and doubt. A shift occurred when I joined Generation Next (bible club) at North Miami Beach Senior High school. I battled depression once again. For the first time I enjoyed school because I kept my mind occupied with work. Unexpectedly, walking into bible club feeling hopeless, a guest speaker spoke about how our communication with God required honesty even though He knows it all. That evening at home, while opening my bible I said these words; “Lord if you see my ache whatever I lay my figures upon will filled this voided”. I landed on psalm 29: 11: “The Lord give strength to his people and bless them with peace.” Since that day, I decided to walk with Christ and