Politeness and Pragmatics in the Context of Cross-Cultural Communication

One interesting example of this is a woman who called into a talk show that Tannen was speaking on and asked about the way she had handled an altercation with a man who was smoking in an area he shouldn't have been. She felt she had done something wrong by articulating that she had asthma and that his smoke was making it difficult for her to breathe rather than telling him flat out that he had to put out the cigarette because it wasn't allowed there. The woman was concerned that she had handled the interaction incorrectly because she hadn't been aggressive with the man who was smoking but thanked him when he was cordial and put out his cigarette. Tannen told the woman she had done nothing wrong and it was actually the best way she could have handed the situation. “I think the woman expected me-the communications expert-to say that she needs assertiveness training to confront smokers in a more aggressive manor”(18). This points out the thought process society has adapted towards any form of confrontation. It points out that it is often seen as wrong to handle displeasing situations in a constructive way rather than a very abrasive and hostile

Politeness is able to show a person’s feelings towards others and awareness of a social custom. There are many purposes of politeness including: creating a public self image, creating solidarity, threatening people to send a negative message, not threatening people or upsetting them, indicating social relationship, showing awareness of social context, and power dynamics. The value of polite speech in a culture has the purpose of creating solidarity. Polite speech in a specific culture is very important and should be practiced as much as possible.

Humans have several ways of communicating with one another, whether that is written, spoken, facial expressions, or through body language. We use all of these forms all the time, it would be impossible to live a day without speaking, writing or reading, making facial expressions, or using any body language to communicate with others. While all these forms of communication are commonly known, another form, not as intuitively obvious, is silence. Like all forms of communication, silence will change with reference to different cultures. Just as different cultures speak differently or have different languages, and have different body languages, cultures also have different meanings behind silence. Native American cultures have been described as reluctant to speak or lacking in personal warmth simply because their culture views silence differently than most Americans. Apaches use silence for situations of uncertainty and unpredictability, Americans prefer that silence does not happen at all but will accept it for situations of comfort or in some cases when they want to avoid small talk with strangers. These difference in the use of silences are simply due to the cultural differences between Apaches and Americans. As Apaches’ use of silence reflects their cultural values of recognition and respect, Americans use, or lack of use, of silence reflects their cultural values of directness and urgency.

The speaker must thoroughly think through what he or she is going to say, and the method in which they want to say it. They must evaluate and decide whether to use verbal or nonverbal communication, or a mix of the two. If they have chosen verbal communication, they must figure out a way to communicate in a non-patronising way that will still be as effective. If nonverbal communication is chosen, the correct method of nonverbal communication should be chosen. Effective communication must happen in order to meet Mrs Hedges’ needs, to help her feel re assured, safe and secure.

Communication involves more than exchanging words between people. Gestures, postures, facial expressions and even eye contacts are important during communication. Both verbal and nonverbal cues are important during communication and can help a person understand the speaker or listener’s emotions, attitudes or status. Understanding the existence of various cultures is necessary since different cultures have varying ways of communication (Lustig & Koester, 2012). Therefore, a communication style that is perceived as bad by a culture may be good in another culture. Besides, characteristics that may be essential for a particular culture may be quite irrelevant for another. In line with this dissimilarity, individuals need to adapt carefully and understand communication preferences and desires among cultures.

People from different background use and interpret communication method in different ways. Ethnicity and background influence how we use communication and our understanding to it. Many factors such as culture, age, gender dialect can determined our interaction with others because English may not be their language, culture can play a major role on how we communicate with people. In some culture for instance, it is not acceptable to give direct eye contact to an elderly person when they are communicating with you. However, in some culture not giving eye contact will be term as being rude. Also, different people from different background

Conversation is a ritual every person must encounter throughout their lives in order to function properly with one another in today’s society. However, every individual has a “different idea about what’s appropriate” when approaching someone in any sort of conversation; that is why we are referred to as individuals (Tannen 327). There are thousands of diverse languages to speak to one another with, in fact that means there are thousands of different ways to offend each other with our words. Within those languages there are several contrasting gestures that can offend any single person, such as the amount of times individuals apologize in one meeting, giving criticism too harshly, or thanking someone so often it does not seem genuine. In the article “What Do You Mean,” Deborah Tannen touches upon apologies, criticism, and thank yous in further detail to explain where individuals go wrong within conversation and how they can fix their actions. Individuals find it satisfying to please others by being polite because it is the ‘right’ thing to do, however like myself others need to stand up for themselves and get directly to the point now in order to avoid conflict later in life.

People respond to courtesy and feel comfortable when they know they have your respect. This helps them to be open and willing to ask questions when they don't understand something. By making people feel comfortable, you help them to be better listeners. Avoid words that require a dictionary when communicating cross-culturally. Pepper your communication with words that everyone understands.

Washington, George. Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation. Miami, FL: BN Pub., 2007.

Today, we live in a culturally diverse society due to globalization. As our world grows, expands and become increasingly more interconnected, the need for effective interpersonal communication among differing cultures has become apparent. When people from different cultures interact with one another there is intercultural communication because different cultures create different interpretation and expectations about what is seen as competent behaviors that will enable the construction of shared meanings.

Finally Lemark states that `empirical studies on intercultural communication found no universal norms in silence, and, in fact, documented that profound differences in cultural norms affect interpretations of silence in interaction`(Lemak,

The journal article that I chose to write about pertains to the norms for politeness, aggression, and interaction styles amongst both northerners and southerners. The reason that I chose this article is because of the fact that I was born and raised in South Carolina and I was fascinated in knowing the findings of how southerners reacted to hostile situations. Within the article “How Norms for Politeness, Interaction Styles, and Aggression Work Together in Southern Culture” written by Dov

Judee Burgoon’s expectancy violations theory is about how people deal with violations of personal space, behaviors, and communication. Burgoon first started with Edward Hall’s theory about proxemics. Proxemics is someone’s personal space. She then modified her theory to include behavior and communication violations. The three main parts of Burgoon’s theory are expectancies, violation valence, and communicator reward valence. Expectancies are what some expects to happen. There are three factors that influence expectancy. The first is the context. Context can include cultural norms and the setting of the conversation. For some cultures, it is normal to stand right next to a person when you’re talking to them. In other cultures, that is a major violation. Also, the setting of the conversation affects the expectations. If you are talking with a professor in a classroom you expect there to be plenty of space. If you are on a dinner date you probably expect the other person to be close to you. The second factor of expectancy is relationship. Your relationship with the person you are talking to affects your expectations. If you are best friends being close together may not be a violation, but if you are strangers it may be seen as a big violation. The third factor is communicator characteristics. This includes a person’s age, sex, race, physical appearance, personality, and communication style. When people are warm, inviting, and physically attractive to us we

Termed by Malcolm Gladwell in his book, Outliers, mitigated speech refers to the exercise of minimizing the harshness of expression, and differ in an array of power distance cultures. There are levels in mitigated speech that range from issuing a command with no use of mitigation to offering a hint using mitigation to its fullest potential. For example, two friends in a car are travelling and approach a pothole, the passenger uses non mitigated speech to command his friend to switch lanes immediately. Whereas, if the passenger uses mitigated language, “Oh boy, that pothole up ahead looks like a mean one.” to merely suggest the pothole’s existence. The best time to use mitigated speech would be to soften language when giving bad news, or being supportive to the adolescent.

Cross-cultural communication is the process of exchanging meaningful and unambiguous information across cultural boundaries, in a way that preserves mutual respect and minimizes antagonism, that is, it looks at how people from differing cultural backgrounds endeavour to communicate. The study of cross-cultural communication was originally found within businesses and the government both seeking to expand globally. Communication is interactive, so an important influence on its effectiveness is our relationship with others. All communication is cultural -- it draws on ways we have learned to speak and give nonverbal messages. We do not always