Positive Gossip is a Good Form of Communication Essay examples

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“Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence” says Tannen(27). For some couples finding that certain weight that will balance the scale of communication can become interesting and a hard task. In the book You Just Don’t Understand, written by Deborah Tannen, she gives many examples of how men and women compete for a gender hierarchy, in which she believes that males and females compete for status in society. She often believed that guys look down upon women, and do not care about what they think. So by competing for a hierarchy, women and men almost challenge one another for social and professional status. It’s almost a game in which there isn’t really a winner, but that…show more content…
When Tannen was talking about asymmetry, she was trying to say that men and women were trying to relate and overtake the other in the ladder of hierarchy. Women and men often compete in society for status and a sense of belonging to their peers and society around them. Tannen does a good job of explaining these specific parts of communication. Basically Tannen says, “Women and men have different ways of talking. Even with the best intentions, trying to settle the problem through talk can only make things worse if it is ways of talking that is causing trouble in the first place.”(Tannen 79) In a sense Tannen is trying to say that obviously men and women have different ways of communicating, and if they are having problems and are trying to settle them through communication, that might not be the best way. If men and women have different ways of communicating, then communicating to each other about their conversational problems, then that’s only going to cause a bigger problem. For example, a man might trying to present himself more knowing than the woman, and might look down up on her, or the woman might do the same, and then that conversation will just go back to competing for hierarchy status, where one is just trying to be better than the other.

Men and woman find themselves gossiping to each other’s peers, as a sense of connection and belonging. Gossiping is a way of establishing a friendship connection or a sense of status in
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