Predictable Crises of Adulthood by Gail Sheehy

The “Catch-30” stage is the reality of all the beliefs and concepts one may have had during the “Trying Twenties” stage. Both genders feel “narrow and restricted” and blaming one another becomes common between friends and families. Most of the topics which turn into debates and arguments are related to career and personal choices of a person’s twenties. Choices which may have sounded perfectly appropriate during the “Trying Twenties” now seem unfit and unsuitable. Everything seems to be contradictory from the previous stage, such as the life which was built during the twenties for the future. The idea of getting married becomes important, and “the single person feels a push to find a partner.” Couples already married start thinking of having children and building families. Arguments between couples are frequent, especially with those who are married for over a decade. The feeling of dissatisfaction is natural among older couples, and divorce may seem to be the only route for agreement. Lack of care and support among couples is what primarily sums up the “Catch-30” stage.

“The Defining Decade” by Meg Jay was an interesting and helpful book to read. The theme of this book is about how important are twenties are in building our future. We usually view our twenties as a decade of having fun and avoiding hard decisions. However, Dr. Meg Jay pointed out that the decisions we make in our twenties can have a profound impact on the life we will be living 10 years from now. Dr. Meg Jay provided advice that we need to hear, so that we will become healthy adults in all areas of our lives.

During the teenage years, several points of passage marked a young man or woman’s integration into the

I believe that some people in their twenties’ put too much off especially important things and “live in the moment” without thinking of the consequence of their actions. According to Mire (2011), “…not making choices is a choice all the same” (pg.xxvi); the choice might as well be made now, because when you eventually get to that point in life, you will know what to do. Also, if there are some things you can complete now, do it then and don’t put it off till later. Just like Mire (2011) quoted from Socrates “The unexamined life is not worth living” (pg, xix). It is good to figure out who you are now, so you will not struggle with identity later. Also, I like how Mire (2011), put it “The twenties are … turbulent time, but if we can …navigate,

Within my generation, I see a lot of my peers having this mindset that “thirty-is-the-new-twenty.” Due to this culture, there’s this ideology that your twenties are just something to blow off, that they don’t serve any sort of significance. In The Defining Decade writing by arthur Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist, Jay goes into detail on why this mindset is, indeed, incorrect. Through stories of her clients and a few stories of her own, Jay explains why the “thiry-is-new-twenty” is a not the right mindset.

Stress in the young adult life stage seems more prevalent in today's society. One very important point is that kids are growing up much faster, taking on more responsibilities that years ago might not have been faced for another 5, 10, and 20 years later. Culture has a very big part in the onset of adult roles at varied ages. The transition to and through this stage can involve, as this writer personally went through in this period, one of looking at and at times being traumatized by who we are becoming. There might be the doubt we are going in the direction we want to go.

I find it hard to imagine what my life will become in the future. As people age, they move into different social roles that provides them with multiple identities. These transitions that we go through tend to be linked with age, in the sense that as a society we expect something called “age-norms” which refers to the idea that there are appropriate ages for making these various life course transitions. There are two types of transitions, normative and non-normative. Normative is when something happens that is expected like starting to drive or having a high school graduation, where non-normative is unexpected such as death or winning the lottery. Throughout this paper I will focus on what I want my future to look like, and I will look at what I can currently do to help make this happen. I will also look at my past transitions in life to show what has led me to be the person that I am today.

The article, What is it about 20-Somethings, confronts the stagnated progress of the 20-something age group. The article presents the idea of "the changing timetable of adulthood" as well the five milestones that mark the "transition to adulthood". The article compares the current generation to its predecessor to justify "the changing timetable for adulthood". The five milestones; completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child define the "transition of adulthood". I don't necessarily agree with the five milestones as not everyone will choose to complete them entirely, at all, or even desired at all. In my opinion, this is where the current generation differs from the previous one. As the article

Within each season of a man’s life, he must make choices such as career or marriage and set goals. During the cross era of the transitions he must re look or appraise these choices and determine what his new goals or direction will be. During early adulthood or the summer of a man’s life, a man is at his physical prime and peek of intelligence. During this period the man establishes his adult identity through the choices of career, marriage and lifestyle choices such as geographic location of residence. (Levinson, 1978) A man leaves early adulthood by going through the middle adulthood transition around the age 40. This transition last five years and represents a period of individuation, a shift in the perceptions of self. During middle adulthood, the autumn of a man’s life, physical prowess begins to fade and other physical changes in appearance occur, such as balding, wrinkles and weight gain. It is during this era that a man comes of age in his career, typically moving into a senior position and out of more physically demanding positions. With these changes he also moves away

The time period from late adolescence to the late 20s thus relates to both social-role changes and biological development (Djordjevic, 2010). Additionally, how capable an individual is able to manage these transitions is most likely to influence and be influenced by, mental health (Schulenberg & Zarett, 2006). The greater self-selection and reduction of institutional support during emerging adulthood seem to be good for most individuals, but may also be debilitating for those of who it jeopardizes to overwhelm their coping-capacity (Schulenberg & Zarett, 2006). However, possible strain from the major transitions of emerging adulthood do not necessarily have long term effects and may result only in momentary disturbances (Schulenberg & Zarett,

They refer to young adults as a cross between kids and adults. During this period of life the brain goes through its last stage of development where it “re-programs” itself for adulthood. Meg Jay, a psychotherapist and a speaker for TED Talks says that “[it is commonly known] that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life” (“Why 30”). For this reason it is easier for people to change things they dislike about themselves or their unwanted attributes during this time in their life. This means that the 20s is the last chance a person gets to change major things about themselves. The attributes they choose to keep, get rid of, or add stays with them for the rest of their life and these attributes are factors that determine the type of partner and career a person

The coming of age experience teaches young adults many things ranging from life will throw you curveballs to sometimes you won’t be able to catch these curveballs. The point isn’t to sulk in the past of all the bad things that had happened to you, it’s to move past them to make you a better person. Coming of age experiences are important because they shape you into the person you are, even if they’re not particularly fun all the time. All your experiences carry value with them, they’re important to have because of lessons that they teach

In addition, Thomas Bergler describes the transition of millennials from the calm seas of childhood into adolescence and into tumultuous waters of adulthood has “receded into the distant…Developmental psychologists have identified a new life stage they call emerging adulthood.” Furthermore, Christian Smith contributes to the idea of emerging adulthood as, “…not making commitments, not putting down roots, not setting a definite course for the long term. It is about experimenting, exploring, experiencing, preparing, anticipating, having fun, and hopefully not screwing things up too badly in the meantime.”

Dr. Meg Jay gives 3 recommendations for how “twentysomethings” can re-claim adulthood in the characterizing decade of their lives. A "thirty-is-the-new-twenty society" lets us know that the twenties don't make a difference. Some say they are an amplified pre-adulthood, others call them a rising adulthood. This purported "changing timetable for adulthood" has demoted the twenties "not-exactly grown-ups" exactly when they have to connect with the most. Obviously it is ideal to set off for college before you get hitched, and to have your children in your 20s and 30s instead of your high school years. Be that as it may, this discussion was distinctive: Dr. Jay makes some extremely strong focuses, yet she additionally pushes our catches, no doubt — particularly the frenzy afterward.

For young adults transitioning from college to the work field there might be a time of self-discovery and a journey to find their meaning in the world. This is also the time where they are expected to make decisions regarding career and relationships. Young adults are at their physical and intellectual peak. In the United States, young adults now have “longer periods of education and the delay of marriage and child bearing” (TEXTBOOK). Emerging adults now have more time to make life decisions before they are forced to make a long term decision regarding career, children and