Privacy and Marriage in To Room Nineteen, by Doris Lessing

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“All human beings have three lives: public, private, and secret.”This quotation can have various interpretations. One main idea which Gabriel García Márquez is portraying in this quote is that privacy is vital for a person and gives the individual autonomy and individuality. Without privacy a person would not be able to live normally. However privacy can and is violated in various scenarios, for instance, in marriage.
In the story “To Room Nineteen” written by Doris Lessing the protagonists, Susan Rawlings, privacy was intruded which lead to her suicide. Before Susan married she had a comfortable life with a great career however she was forced to give that all up. In her commentary “In Room Nineteen-Why Did Susan Commit Suicide?
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The identity changes result not only from their interaction in the dyad, as described by Berger and Kellner, but also from the common front they present toward the world and the influence of their marriage upon other relations. The process can be expected to have a profound influence upon a wife for several reasons, all embedded in the family institution. In the first place, although girls are socialized into individualistic personality identities, married women and mothers are expected to be oriented primarily toward family welfare. Secondly, the roles of wife and mother are considered the basic and the only really important ones for adult women .The addition of the roles of husband and father are not expected to produce an equivalently significant shift in the role cluster of men. Finally, the reality constructed by a couple symbolically and in actual life-style tends to be built around the husband's occupational role outside of the home (408). Additionally, Lopata emphasizes that the importance of marriage in the life of a woman is symbolized by her name change. In effect, becoming Mrs. Harry Jones wipes out the whole past of Mary Smith, her family, her ethnic and personal achievement identities. In the historical past this was accompanied by a complete shift into the husband's family-life-style, and even now continuity of identity without change is almost

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