Hi Dennise,
This is my response.
1) THESIS
a) Does the thesis make an arguable claim (stating an idea and its significance)?
Yes
b) Explain one strength about the thesis.
It clearly states the literacy device ‘metaphor’ that will be used, and the reason why the poet chooses to use this.
c) Explain one aspect to be improved about the thesis. (Replies like, "Nothing needs improvement" are not acceptable. There is always something that can be improved.)
My advice should be adding an additional literacy device to analyze, but yours is great if you are going to dig deep into metaphors.
2) BODY PARAGRAPHS
Body Paragraph #1:
a) Does the paragraph have a clear topic sentence that tells you what the point of the paragraph is? Provide feedback.
I can’t find the tropic sentence which is usually the first line of the body paragraph. My advice is not to put evidences in the tropic sentence since it will give the readers a hard time.
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Has the writer introduced and integrated the quotation well? Provide feedback.
Yes. I find a great use of quotations. I think you could use more introductory phrases before quotations relating the thesis with quotations.
c) Does the paragraph contain an analysis that explains how the quotation supports the point presented in the topic sentence? Provide feedback.
Yes. Analysis comes before or after quotations and it supports the point fairly well if I look at the very first line as a tropic sentence. My feedback is putting more analysis to the last quotation since I think it is a great passage from the poem probably where Shelley’s idea changes.
d) Explain one strength about the body paragraph.
Great use of
4) What am I trying to say ? Have I said it ? Is it clear to someone encountering the subject for the first time? These questions are important to ask yourself when you are writing your paragraph so your reader will know what you are talking about and your paragraphs will make sense and it will be correct.
This paper will define imagery, metaphors, rhyme and structure and will also discuss the importance of figurative language in poetry and how it communicates to the reader.
4. What do you see as the strengths of the paper, and what would you try to do if you were to revise it some more?
Body Paragraph 2 (Topic Sentence) In my opinion I think we need to expand the vacation days because for march break a week is too short.
c. Explanation of the central points from the article(s): Avoid just using a quote from a source. Explain what you think the author means.
In your essay ensure that you specifically refer to each of texts including quotes and analysis.
Poetry is an art form that is rich in notional and semantic content. In a few stanzas, poems are so capable of painting an idea or event so vividly that it seems alive. However poetry, by itself, cannot exhibit qualities of life: they require a willingness to understand unfamiliar ways of describing a phenomenon. Thus poetry has been likened to a scrambled code that is impossible to decipher in its literal context. Thus, poetry requires a key to decipher it and the code, often, is metaphor.
l. What is the purpose of paragraph 15 besides concluding the essay? How would you describe the speakers tone in this paragraph? Does it differ from the tone she uses in other parts of the essay?
1. What is the author's main point? What kinds of examples does he provide to show you?
The content of the poem is real and easily defined, because there are no types of figurative language that are used to allude to something else, such as metaphors, or allegories. This also demonstrates the speaker’s insufficient schooling because they are right to the point and do not talk in circles or allude to something. They say what they are trying to say and that is all. The denotation, diction, and language used in this poem all help display the lack of schooling and the unacademic way of thinking and speaking that the speaker uses, which adds to the theme by showing the speaker’s challenges
A metaphor is a figure of speech identifying something as being the same as some other unrelated object. In this case, the technique is used in line 3 at the beginning of the poem /so hard I’ve dark green pebbles for eyes/. For the reader, this causes a greater understanding of the context within the poem “Havisham”, demonstrating how hard Miss Havisham had prayed for her unrequited love dead. The choice of the poet’s words, in the third line suggests that Miss Havisham has a deep hatred towards the man. Such as pebbles which portrays the hardness in her feelings and dark because of her malevolent thoughts of revenge. In addition to this, green out of jealousy of the man as he has a happier life. As a result of this, the poem’s tone is influenced by the function of the technique, providing an unkind element.
You are just writing a body paragraph, so be sure to select a very specific topic.
*2* Here is where you could helpfully split this paragraph, the first section could have your main point emphasised again and then this would make a good paragraph on its own.
Technology gives students up to date information to work with when doing projects and assignments. Maslin and Nelson’s article Peering into the Future: Students Using Technology to Create Literacy Products the early education classroom in this article formed reading posters of their favorite books and famous figures. These students did research on the computer and put together a book review poster. Students in these classrooms are doing research while using technology to publish these posters. “These activities engage children in reading, writing, and publishing as ways of responding to intermediate level literature and sharing insights, reactions, and the appreciation of books with others”(Maslin and Nelson pg.628). In this article Readingweb
a. Conclusion drawn must be based on a sample that represent the entire group .